Guilty Heart-Chapter 6 (Moving On)
Title: Moving On (Part 1)
User: bluangleyes75
Pairing: Rob/Kristen
Rating: R
Summary/Notes: Rob needs Kristen, how far will she go to make him happy?
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, I don’t know them, but a girl can dream…Thank yosloppy_drunk for pre-reading! All mistakes are mine!
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Slouched against a pile of pillows and her headboard, she stared at the flickering television. She watched him on the screen across the room with the remote clenched in her hand. He looked amazing and he seemed relaxed, a totally different person than the one she had met at John’s just days previously. She was always astonished at the connection that him and Kimmel seemed to have. She had to give him credit; he could make any interview golden, where she seemed to always fuck them up. He was undeniably good at everything that came along with being Rob and she adored him for it. His whole life had been turned upside down and he barely flinched in public. He was out there honoring his commitments and acting as if nothing was going on while she was holed away, quitting movies, and backing out of contractual obligations.
His words ripped her out her revelry when she heard him say he was homeless. She threw her hand across her forehead, her eyes went wide, and she held her breath slightly, waiting for him to elaborate as to why, but he just laughed and smiled. She knew he was hurting, that he was being serious, and that it was all her fault. Strings of guilt tugged at her heart before she let her arm slide off her face and rest on her chest. He was being so charming, it was hard not to smile, but as soon as she heard the word “dogging” come from his mouth, her smile disappeared.
“Jesus Christ,” she whispered to no one and nuzzled into her covers, letting loose of the remote and tucking her hand under her pillow.
She peered at the TV and hung on every word he spoke. Was he talking about her? She lay motionless and just stared at him laughing and interacting with the audience as if his life depended on making them happy. Their sighs and giggles were like the proverbial carrot dangling in front of Rob’s face. He kept on with his story, glancing at them every so often to make sure they were still following. Every statement he made stabbed her a little deeper causing her dissipating pain to resurface.
She watched the rest of the interview before lifting only her index finger and pushing the power button, plunging the room into total darkness. She folded herself into the fetal position, drawing her legs up to her body and crushing the pillow between her hands. She was so exhausted, more so emotionally than anything else, and before she could overanalyze the situation she was drifting off to sleep. She had no right to be angry anymore. She had put everything she had on the line for him and had heard nothing since their meeting. He could say whatever he wanted; she couldn’t demand anything more from him. He wasn’t hers anymore. She had given him up weeks ago and had only begun to realize that they each had to deal with what was happening in their own ways.
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Her breathing was steady and even, her mouth slightly ajar, causing delicate snores to escape every few minutes. She had turned to her stomach and kicked the covers off one of her feet, leaving it to dangle off the edge of the bed. The knee of her other leg was drawn up to her body and her duvet was piled high around her face. Her long hair spread freely across her pillows and the only movement she made was either to unconsciously brush stray hairs that were tickling her face or grasp at the empty spot on the bed next to her. The phone on the nightstand vibrated, but not loud enough to wake her. Oblivious to the incoming call she slept until it silenced.
Her hand stroked the empty space on the bed beside her as the vibration resumed. Her hand patted the mattress before it fell limply onto the sheet and the phone stopped buzzing. She batted the hair out of her face and rolled onto her side, grabbing her covers and pulling them around her more tightly, a yawn hit her hard as she settled back into her pillows. Again, the phone danced on the night table, this time pulling her awake just enough for her to crack her eyes and roll a little more. She was fighting between falling back to sleep and trying to figure out what sound was bringing her back to reality when the vibration stopped. She brought one of her hands out from under the blankets and reached to rub the sleep out of her eye and scrub at her face, before she replaced it under her pillow and started to roll onto her stomach again. Once more, the vibration cut through the silence and she leaned onto her back, throwing her hand over her head, pawing at the nightstand trying to catch it and bring it onto the bed with her. Just as she found it and was able to lift it above her head, it stilled again. She groaned and struggled to sit up, dropping the phone in the process in favor of rubbing her face and trying to stimulate herself awake enough to read the screen. She blinked slowly, trying to allow her eyes to adjust to the dark room. The fogginess that clouded her brain from sleep lifted slowly as she glanced at the clock and noticed the time to be almost 3 a.m. when her phone jumped to life again on her lap. She floundered to catch it and squinted as she brought it closer, trying to read the screen.
Rob’s face pressed up against Bear’s graced the screen and before she could think twice she ran her finger across it and brought it to her ear.
“Lo,” she mumbled as she flopped back on her pillows, yawning.
“Kris? Did I wake you?” He asked quietly with a hint of remorse in his voice.
“Yeah, you okay?” she asked, her brain finally catching up to the rest of her body, causing a wave of concern to wash over her.
“Ugh, yeah, I was just hoping you’d still be awake,” he admitted.
She turned into her pillows and fought the urge to close her eyes again. “Mmm,” she nodded and nuzzled.
“KRIS,” he snapped into the phone causing her eyes to pop open as she sat up, pushing her hand through her hair.
“Yeah, babe,” she croaked out before cringing, realizing the mistake in her choice of words.
She heard him chuckle in her ear as she shook her head and reached to turn on the bedside lamp, hoping that the light would help her to stay awake. Her fingers found the knob to twist and the room filled with a soft-glow cast from the low-watt bulb under the shade. She pushed her covers off her body, trying to resume a coherent enough state to talk to him sensibly.
“Kristen? Ooooh, Krisssssten,” he sang into the phone. His silliness causing her to giggle before he continued, “Whatcha doin’ Love?”
“Are you drunk?” she questioned him as she planted the heel of her hand on her forehead.
“Mmmmm, maybe,” he admitted.
“Jesus Rob, call me tomorrow. Be sure to take something and drink water before you go to sleep,” she offered, reaching to turn the light off again.
“No, not drunk…just tipsy…I think…” he trailed off.
“You think? You don’t know if you’re drunk?” She fought the urge to let out a full-fledged laugh.
“The only thing I know is…”his voice filtered off before he finished his statement.
She waited for him to start again, but he didn’t. She swung her legs off the side of the mattress and put her feet on the ground. She bent her body in half and leaned her head towards the floor in an attempt to get more blood flowing to her brain.
“Rob?” she questioned, trying to cajole him into finishing.
“What are you doing, beautiful?” He asked quietly.
She flung herself upright and froze. Hearing him call her beautiful broke her heart and set it soaring at the same time. She swallowed hard and pushed herself up off the bed so she could move around, hoping that by walking she would be able to clear her head.
“Sleepin’,” she baby-talked into the handset.
“Can I tell you something,” he slurred a little as he whispered into the phone as if he was going to tell her a secret.
Her heart rate increased, but her feet stopped.
“Yeah,” she sighed, hoping that whatever he had to tell her was something good and not that he was finally done with her.
“K, I’m sorry, Love. I think I ran my mouth again,” he confessed.
“You think? What are you talking about Rob?” she asked as she found her momentum again and walked to the bathroom to grab a hair band.
“Did you watch my interview?” He inquired.
“Ugh,” she stalled, trying to figure out how to answer him, “Yeah, kind of. I was dozing though. I don’t think it all registered to be honest.” She wasn’t going to admit that she’d heard it. She didn’t have the energy to deal with any of it. There would be no point in rehashing his off-the-cuff remarks
“Phew,” his breath rushed into her ear.
She stepped out of the bathroom, headed back to her bed and combed her hair with the fingers of her free hand before figuring out that she couldn’t pull her hair up without setting the phone down.
“Hold on a sec, okay?” she said as she dropped the phone and gathered her hair, quickly wrapping the band around it to hold it up and picked up the phone again.
“Thanks, sorry…” She sat back on the edge of the bed and scratched the inside corner of her eye.
“Come home please,” he said softly, shocking her. She felt as if she couldn’t get an air into her lungs as her leg immediately started twitching on its own accord.
“I…ho…home?” She stuttered and froze, dropping her hand to her lap.
“I want you to come home,” he conceded.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered as tears of surprise sprang up in her tired eyes. Hearing him ask her to come home was exactly what she’d been hoping for, but she hadn’t been expecting it at all. Something deep inside gnawed at her, telling her that it was too good to be true.
“Come see me. I need to see you…please Kristen…please,” he begged.
She brought her hand up out of her lap, spread her fingers wide, and planted her face in her palm.
“Love?” He sang into the phone again.
She wanted to tell him no, that he should go to bed and sleep it off. She should have told him to call her when he was sober if he still wanted to see her, but she couldn’t do it. She was weak to him and wanted to see him too, right or wrong, she couldn’t bring herself to care.
“Where are you?” she asked him, her words muddled by her hand covering her face.
“I’m home…” he paused briefly before finishing, “at the house.”
“What house?” She slid her hand down her body and let it rest on her chest, as if it would still her wildly beating heart.
“Our house. I’m home. I want you to come home. Please Love, just come home,” he plead more.
She stood, hand still grasping at her chest, and started to walk to the closet. Her mind was racing with millions of reasons why she shouldn’t go, but her heart was winning with the one and only reason that mattered, Rob. She opened the closet and bent to dig for her laceless Keds. After tossing them through the door she reached onto the top shelf and pulled down a pair of baggy sweats.
“Kristen, Jesus, say something!” his impatience with her silence came across the line.
“Who’s with you?” She wondered aloud as she sat back down on the edge of the bed and slipped the sweats on, standing and hopping to pull them up.
“Just me,” he replied.
She slipped her shoes on and grabbed a zippered hoodie of her chair, plucking her keys from the top of her dresser and peeking into the hall.
“K,” she whispered as she stepped out of her room and tiptoed down the hall, making her way to the garage. She heard him expel the large breath that he had been holding onto waiting for her answer. She scribbled a note to her family on a scratch piece of paper and left it on the kitchen table, before making her way out the door.
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