For muse_shuffle - April Disc Two
I’d break apart too, if I knowed what you knowed
(Augie March - ‘Sunstroke House’)
Logan looked up as the door to his room opened and a petite brunette entered and dropped herself down on his bed without so much as a knock, or a greeting. Normally he’d have cut anyone who’d dared to enter his room like they owned it, but the owner of the big brown eyes and platinum streaks always did have a way of getting to him.
He watched her closely as she huffed out a breath, rolled her shoulders and started tugging on the tips of her gloves. He could smell the nerves, not to mention that blond doctor all over her. He quirked an eyebrow in silent question, and waited for her to tell him why she was there. He was good at waiting.
Rogue stayed silent a little bit longer before she cleared her throat and tucked her streaks behind her ears. “I moved in with him.”
Logan’s face stayed impassive. He didn’t really know what to say, so he fell back on a cliché “Congratulations.”
Rogue nodded, but still looked troubled. Clearly that was not why she was here. “I love him. I have done since I met him, I think. I used to think all that love at first sight stuff was trash, but it’s happened to me twice even if it was the second time that stuck. And I’m kinda glad about that, because I’m older and I figure I know a little better even if I’m still learnin’.” She glanced up to lock her gaze with Logan’s, and a sad smile curved her lips. It tugged at his heartstrings, and he just wanted to pull her into a protective hug. He didn’t though, choosing to stay where he was and let her keep talking. “I want a family with him. I want his babies, or just one baby. I wanted that baby.”
His chest tightened, and a flicker in her eyes told him she knew he had caught on to exactly which baby she meant. “Darlin’-”
“For a long time it hurt. And it still kinda hurts. I know it’s funny bein’ so attached to this little speck, but it was our speck. Me and the Doc’s.” Tears welled in her eyes, but she kept looking at Logan. “And when I came back to the mansion after that time off, it hurt even more knowin’ that you knew about it. I thought it woulda helped, ya know? Havin’ someone to talk to about it, but I couldn’t talk to ya about it and I don’t know why. I think some of it is because I’ve kept the Doc and my life outside these walls separate to my life here, and now because of losin’ the baby it’s gotten all mixed up and you’ve met the Doc, and he’s met you and you know that I have sex, and… yeah. It’s weird.”
Logan let out a low rumble as he leaned back against the headboard, and held his arms open. A jerk of his head was all the invitation she needed to crawl into his arms, and rest her head on his chest. Clothing kept both of them safe, but he really wasn’t concerned so much about her skin right now. “Just between you and me it’s a little weird knowin’ ya have sex too, darlin’. It ain’t like I’m blind, and don’t get that you’re gorgeous, but I can’t handle the thoughts that pop into my head when sex and you come up.”
Rogue smirked lightly, fisting a part of his shirt. “Such a dirty old man.”
“Show me one man alive that ain’t gonna have the same line of thought,” he countered with a slight growl. The fact that he’d probably castrate most of those men went without saying. “Point is you shouldn’t have to feel like ya can’t talk to me. We’ve been through a lot, Marie. I woulda thought I had earned your trust by now.”
She sat up, the hug brought to an abrupt end as she thumped him in the chest. Of course it hurt her more than it hurt him, and he chuckled as he watched her shake her hand and mutter curses under her breath. “You do have my trust, sugar. It’s just I feel like a big fat failure, and I couldn’t look at ya without thinkin’ about the baby I lost.”
Logan’s brow furrowed, and his eyes flicked away as they sought out something else to look at. “I’m… I’m sorry, darlin’. I never shoulda made ya go on that mission. I wouldn’t have if I’d have known about the… baby.” He cleared his throat, and ran a hand through his unruly hair as he tried to get himself to look at her again. The guilt he’d been burying was brought back up to the surface, and memories of her bruised and broken body lying in the medlab taunted him. He could also remember just how he’d felt when he’d discovered she’d been pregnant. “I never wanted ya to get hurt, let alone lose a part of ya.”
Rogue settled herself back against him, and sighed. “I know, Logan. I never once blamed ya for what happened. I wouldn’t even think of it.”
He closed his arms tight around her. “You’d rather blame yourself.”
She nodded slightly, before burying her face against his chest. She trembled as she started to cry, and Logan raised his eyes to the ceiling before stroking a large hand over her hair and back. “Shh, darlin’. It ain’t your fault. None of it is your fault.”
She shifted to look up at him, and snorted loudly as she fought more tears. “I’ve had so many people tell me that, but I think I really only believe you.”
Logan smirked, and brushed her hair back from her forehead. “That’s ‘cause ya know I ain’t full of shit most of the time.”
Rogue gave a nod, and smiled. “I’m sorry I was ignorin’ ya.”
Logan shrugged. Maybe she’d just bared her soul to him, but there were some things he just wouldn’t tell her. Like the fact that he had been worried she didn’t need him anymore. “Don’t worry about it. Just means I didn’t have to sneak around tryin’ to get ya birthday gift organised.”
The tears were gone, and he watched in amusement as she wiped her nose with the back of her gloved hand. “I get a birthday gift?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Wasn’t it your birthday yesterday?”
“Yeah, but-”
“So you get a gift. I know I ain’t really given ya anythin’ before ‘cept maybe a shot of whiskey, but I actually put some fuckin’ thought into this, so you better like it.”
She moved onto her knees, her brown eyes wide as she nodded. “I will, I promise.”
There were times when she still very much reminded him of the waif he’d picked up in Laughlin City. For all that she’d been through, and for all she’d declare to the contrary, he knew she still had some innocence left and he hoped she never lost it. Logan twisted, pulling open the drawer in the nightstand and retrieving a box. He handed it to her. “Happy birthday, darlin’.”
Rogue grinned, taking the box with both hands. It was fairly small, the faux velvet covering making her think that he had gotten her jewelry of some kind. She carefully lifted the lid, her grin faltering as surprise flitted across her features. “Oh, Logan!”
He frowned, trying not to look too concerned, or like he was genuinely worried she’d hate the gift. “That’s not really tellin’ me anythin’, kid.”
“I love them!” she exclaimed in a breathless whisper. She had up the replica dog tags and smiled. “I can’t believe you’d ever wanna have ‘em made again after everythin’.”
He shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he watched her wrap them around her wrist next to another bracelet-one he suspected was from her lover. “Figured you’d know what it meant.”
“You goin’ someplace?” Her head jerked up, and she looked worried.
“ ‘Course not. It was just the only thing I could think of that meant somethin’ to the both of us. Better than some replica of the Statue of Liberty.”
Rogue nodded, her nose crinkling. She hated that place. “Thank you, Logan.”
“S’alright, darlin’.” He stayed sitting for a moment before he rushed forward to scoop her up and throw her over his shoulder. “Now come on, before you start cryin’ again. We’ll get ya some ice cream.”
Wolverine
X-Men (movieverse)
Words: 1428
justalilcontactvery much used with permission, and chasemd referenced with permission.
(Augie March - ‘Sunstroke House’)
Logan looked up as the door to his room opened and a petite brunette entered and dropped herself down on his bed without so much as a knock, or a greeting. Normally he’d have cut anyone who’d dared to enter his room like they owned it, but the owner of the big brown eyes and platinum streaks always did have a way of getting to him.
He watched her closely as she huffed out a breath, rolled her shoulders and started tugging on the tips of her gloves. He could smell the nerves, not to mention that blond doctor all over her. He quirked an eyebrow in silent question, and waited for her to tell him why she was there. He was good at waiting.
Rogue stayed silent a little bit longer before she cleared her throat and tucked her streaks behind her ears. “I moved in with him.”
Logan’s face stayed impassive. He didn’t really know what to say, so he fell back on a cliché “Congratulations.”
Rogue nodded, but still looked troubled. Clearly that was not why she was here. “I love him. I have done since I met him, I think. I used to think all that love at first sight stuff was trash, but it’s happened to me twice even if it was the second time that stuck. And I’m kinda glad about that, because I’m older and I figure I know a little better even if I’m still learnin’.” She glanced up to lock her gaze with Logan’s, and a sad smile curved her lips. It tugged at his heartstrings, and he just wanted to pull her into a protective hug. He didn’t though, choosing to stay where he was and let her keep talking. “I want a family with him. I want his babies, or just one baby. I wanted that baby.”
His chest tightened, and a flicker in her eyes told him she knew he had caught on to exactly which baby she meant. “Darlin’-”
“For a long time it hurt. And it still kinda hurts. I know it’s funny bein’ so attached to this little speck, but it was our speck. Me and the Doc’s.” Tears welled in her eyes, but she kept looking at Logan. “And when I came back to the mansion after that time off, it hurt even more knowin’ that you knew about it. I thought it woulda helped, ya know? Havin’ someone to talk to about it, but I couldn’t talk to ya about it and I don’t know why. I think some of it is because I’ve kept the Doc and my life outside these walls separate to my life here, and now because of losin’ the baby it’s gotten all mixed up and you’ve met the Doc, and he’s met you and you know that I have sex, and… yeah. It’s weird.”
Logan let out a low rumble as he leaned back against the headboard, and held his arms open. A jerk of his head was all the invitation she needed to crawl into his arms, and rest her head on his chest. Clothing kept both of them safe, but he really wasn’t concerned so much about her skin right now. “Just between you and me it’s a little weird knowin’ ya have sex too, darlin’. It ain’t like I’m blind, and don’t get that you’re gorgeous, but I can’t handle the thoughts that pop into my head when sex and you come up.”
Rogue smirked lightly, fisting a part of his shirt. “Such a dirty old man.”
“Show me one man alive that ain’t gonna have the same line of thought,” he countered with a slight growl. The fact that he’d probably castrate most of those men went without saying. “Point is you shouldn’t have to feel like ya can’t talk to me. We’ve been through a lot, Marie. I woulda thought I had earned your trust by now.”
She sat up, the hug brought to an abrupt end as she thumped him in the chest. Of course it hurt her more than it hurt him, and he chuckled as he watched her shake her hand and mutter curses under her breath. “You do have my trust, sugar. It’s just I feel like a big fat failure, and I couldn’t look at ya without thinkin’ about the baby I lost.”
Logan’s brow furrowed, and his eyes flicked away as they sought out something else to look at. “I’m… I’m sorry, darlin’. I never shoulda made ya go on that mission. I wouldn’t have if I’d have known about the… baby.” He cleared his throat, and ran a hand through his unruly hair as he tried to get himself to look at her again. The guilt he’d been burying was brought back up to the surface, and memories of her bruised and broken body lying in the medlab taunted him. He could also remember just how he’d felt when he’d discovered she’d been pregnant. “I never wanted ya to get hurt, let alone lose a part of ya.”
Rogue settled herself back against him, and sighed. “I know, Logan. I never once blamed ya for what happened. I wouldn’t even think of it.”
He closed his arms tight around her. “You’d rather blame yourself.”
She nodded slightly, before burying her face against his chest. She trembled as she started to cry, and Logan raised his eyes to the ceiling before stroking a large hand over her hair and back. “Shh, darlin’. It ain’t your fault. None of it is your fault.”
She shifted to look up at him, and snorted loudly as she fought more tears. “I’ve had so many people tell me that, but I think I really only believe you.”
Logan smirked, and brushed her hair back from her forehead. “That’s ‘cause ya know I ain’t full of shit most of the time.”
Rogue gave a nod, and smiled. “I’m sorry I was ignorin’ ya.”
Logan shrugged. Maybe she’d just bared her soul to him, but there were some things he just wouldn’t tell her. Like the fact that he had been worried she didn’t need him anymore. “Don’t worry about it. Just means I didn’t have to sneak around tryin’ to get ya birthday gift organised.”
The tears were gone, and he watched in amusement as she wiped her nose with the back of her gloved hand. “I get a birthday gift?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Wasn’t it your birthday yesterday?”
“Yeah, but-”
“So you get a gift. I know I ain’t really given ya anythin’ before ‘cept maybe a shot of whiskey, but I actually put some fuckin’ thought into this, so you better like it.”
She moved onto her knees, her brown eyes wide as she nodded. “I will, I promise.”
There were times when she still very much reminded him of the waif he’d picked up in Laughlin City. For all that she’d been through, and for all she’d declare to the contrary, he knew she still had some innocence left and he hoped she never lost it. Logan twisted, pulling open the drawer in the nightstand and retrieving a box. He handed it to her. “Happy birthday, darlin’.”
Rogue grinned, taking the box with both hands. It was fairly small, the faux velvet covering making her think that he had gotten her jewelry of some kind. She carefully lifted the lid, her grin faltering as surprise flitted across her features. “Oh, Logan!”
He frowned, trying not to look too concerned, or like he was genuinely worried she’d hate the gift. “That’s not really tellin’ me anythin’, kid.”
“I love them!” she exclaimed in a breathless whisper. She had up the replica dog tags and smiled. “I can’t believe you’d ever wanna have ‘em made again after everythin’.”
He shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he watched her wrap them around her wrist next to another bracelet-one he suspected was from her lover. “Figured you’d know what it meant.”
“You goin’ someplace?” Her head jerked up, and she looked worried.
“ ‘Course not. It was just the only thing I could think of that meant somethin’ to the both of us. Better than some replica of the Statue of Liberty.”
Rogue nodded, her nose crinkling. She hated that place. “Thank you, Logan.”
“S’alright, darlin’.” He stayed sitting for a moment before he rushed forward to scoop her up and throw her over his shoulder. “Now come on, before you start cryin’ again. We’ll get ya some ice cream.”
Wolverine
X-Men (movieverse)
Words: 1428
justalilcontactvery much used with permission, and chasemd referenced with permission.