i don't get it.. i just dont' get it anymore... The people in my life.. just.. Ugh.. But someone up there's trying to protect me. Trying to lead me. And I know where he's telling me to go.. but it hurts so badly... I got ahold of Dustin again recently. And we've been tlking. Every part of my being is telling me to go back to him. To wait for him. ( Read more... )

hey, figured i'd update: I'm single again... and life is still kinda sucky.. but... i'm still alive so all is well.

Uuuuuuuugh *falls over* i'm sick :( i'm all congested and tired and my nose is snuffly and i just feel all icky >_< ick ick ick. And i have school today. Must... learn.... new.... things.... *FLAILS!!!!!!!!!!* ._. i'm ok ( Read more... )

A couple of months ago.. or something.. I took this survey quiz thing.. well.. I know these things I shouldnt' believe and all but... just... with the way I've been acting I was curious to see what the results would be.... and here they are:

DisorderRatingParanoid Disorder:HighSchizoid Disorder:LowSchizotypal Disorder:ModerateAntisocial Disorder: ( Read more... )

I'm sick of this i really fucking am. Ok ok I know I haven't posted in FOREVER... and I'm sorry to you all for not positng in so long its just.. life.. was.. too much. I don't like posting here. Everything thinks i'm a drama queen looking for attention and all this fucking bull... but I dont' care. i need to let it out and my myspace blog was down ( Read more... )

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Life OFFICIALLY sucks. I wasn't gonna post but.. things just keep piling on. First off Ajay and I are on break. We still love one another and I believe we'll be back together and he seems to be warming up to the idea, but I'm reaching for my last ropes. If that werent enough, these ropes are so fucking tangled its not even funny. Yeah. I got my ( Read more... )

Hey.. again.. wow tme is a funny thing I feel like i've been w/ ajay for my entire life, i almost forget i was ever really w/ anyone else.. ever in love w/ anyone else.. and i started reading my posts bout dustin in my memories and all i could think was 'holy crap... i was blind' i mean duh i loved dustin and i could fight you to the death that i ( Read more... )

Needless to say ... i graduated... but many of you don't know: I haven't been accepted to college.. because UCF is stupid and my life is leading me elsewhere.. things have been alright, but i have several demons of my past haunting me at the moment of mistakes i've made and that others have made toward me... mom's being a bitch... i've spent ( Read more... )

howdy ya'll.. guess who's dead.. again.. SHANE! ha! lol ^^; i'm so mean. but ya, if my understanding is correct, he is SOOOOOOO beyond dead. He left for his friend's yesterday then he was gonna go to a party.. which he did. then I was talking online to people, and one of the girls i know who knows him told me she had seen him at the party, so i was ( Read more... )