[Fic] Annoying Kindness (One-Shot)
Title: Annoying Kindness
Pairings: Yunho-centric, band!fic
Rating: G
Warnings: hm... crack?
Genre: humor
Summary: Yunho is annoying. The other four commiserate.
Jaejoong was annoyed. Yoochun was trying hard not to appear annoyed. Changmin was trying his best to mask his exasperation with indifference -- and miserably failing. Junsu, being naturally an excitable person with the attention span of a fly, was the only one energized enough to coo and laugh.
The four (well, three since Junsu didn’t count) members were looking at who they deemed the most irritating person in the world currently.
"Really, Yunho-ah. Why don't you just buy a whole pet shop?" Jaejoong asked, expressing his irritation with his voice in every way possible. Now that he had learned to project emotions in singing, the annoyance in his voice was more enunciated and threatening (no dinner for you!). Irritation was the first emotion he had learned and mastered to project since debut. It was necessary, after all, if you have members who hit you for fun (Changmin), members who have severe cases of ADHD (Junsu), or members who're ready to keel over any minute because he Just. Won’t. Sleep. At. Night (Yoochun). Now, the oldest man’s irritation was directed to the leader.
The statement fell on the leader's deaf ears as he went on playing happily with the stray cat that had randomly wandered on their path. It was the middle of the night, just after twelve hours of recording, and they were outside of the company building, which was a rare occurence (thank goodness that fangirls are human and still need their sleep). They were tired, exhausted, hungry, cranky (except two) and just want to go home and drop dead to their beds when manager hyung who was supposed to drive them to their apartment conveniently lost the keys for the van. Just their luck, the building was already locked. The manager then sheepishly avoided the death glares the group had started sending him, and literally ran away with the excuse of finding a locksmith or calling the police. He was long gone when the group remembered that the police was just one phone call away.
And now leader-shii was playing with the cat, cooing and playing and generally being... cute.
Changmin rolled his eyes. "He did try, remember?" he answered his eldest hyung. "Last week. When he saw how poorly those shopkeepers were treating those poor poor puppies and how the iguanas weren't being fed properly and how the monkeys were-“
"Shut up, Changmin," Jaejoong cut the younger man off mid sentence and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It was a rhetorical question. This is giving me a headache."
"I'm wondering what's keeping hyung from building an orphanage," Yoochun piped in. "Knowing him he'd probably be able to do it. With his bare hands to save the builders from a lot of work. And without using wood. Just to save the rainforest."
"Shut up. Headaches.”
A rough "meow" was heard and all three groaned as a dolphin squeal and the manly voice of their leader cooing "Aww, poor kitty... you're so cute, aren't you? Who's the cute kitty? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!" followed.
The mangy cat let out a loud purr.
"Please tell me manager hyung is going to be here in a minute..." The oldest was banging his head to the nearest wall.
Changmin whipped his phone out and fought off another groan. "Not for another hour."
Yoochun dropped into the third step of the stairs, pulling his beanie lower to cover his eyes. "At this rate, we'll have an entire zoo by the time he gets here."
"I don't get why you guys are so bummed. Why do you dislike stray animals so much when they're no different than our dogs?" said Junsu as he momentarily turned his attention away from the mangy cat and his cooing leader and turned to the rest of his members.
"It's not the animals," Changmin replied. "It's hyung."
"I don't get it."
"It's irritating," Yoochun said, attempting to enlighten Junsu. "He's too... good. Giving charity, volunteer working as if we aren't so overworked already, visiting orphans, visiting sick people, handing out scholarships left and right without batting an eye, feeding the hungry..."
"Basically, compared to him, we feel like the scum of the earth," Jaejoong finished.
Changmin rolled his eyes. "Next thing we know, he'd already ended world hunger."
"Oh," Junsu said weakly. "I see where you're coming from... yeah..."
“Arf!”
“Hey! Heeeeeyy little guy! Are you lost, too? Do you want to come home with me?"
Three simultaneous groans came from the three.
"Stray cat, stray dog... all we need is a stray dolphin,” Changmin's tone was flat.("Someone called me?” said Junsu)
"And fans call Jaejoong-hyung motherly?" Yoochun exclaimed.
"A freaking zoo, I tell you- a freaking zoo!" Jaejoong wailed. He then turned to Yoochun with pleading eyes. "Please tell me I'm a good person..."
"Compared to THAT? We're lucky to be even called DECENT!"
"Oh, oh look at you, you poor poor homeless mouse! Don't worry, I'm sure we'll have plenty of room for you even with kitty and puppy here...”
The four were increduluous and yet not surprised.
“Next he'll start adopting stray INSECTS!”
“Shut up or he might just do it!”
"Hey! Hey guys! Look at this poor misunderstood mosquito!"
They were going to kill manager hyung.
AN: x3 In a crack-ish mood today, so there. ^^