I just put this here to have the link. If you do read it tell me what you think.
I didnt want this to take up too much room on the actual site. So I need this link.
I’ve changed these pages A LOT mostly what I want in the art is the same but there is little to no dialogue. Its all narration. Now we all know that is asking a lot from a comic especially one with only five pages of story. I think with the right gritty ass dirty art it will work quite well. I wanted this to be a situation when you know someone so well you don’t need words and your left to your thoughts. A lot of questions went through my head most of which I’d been thinking of recently. Is there no room for change? When does your change stop? I wanted to write these characters as having no morals, a generation raised on Coke and video games. When you become so misguided and there are no feelings left in you. Do you snap or do you recognize that and move on? Which is worse?
Page 1:
Kicker: This is a five page teaser for HIRED GUNS.
Title:??
Full Page shot: A roof top, you can see the other buildings around the area and you can vaguely make out that there are two figures standing on it. They are walking toward the edge that is facing the nearest building. On the side of the building is a huge sign, one of those ones that has the individual letters. Not a billboard.
Caption top left: Location and time: Anywhere, Anytime
Page 2:
Panel 1: CU of the building the two figures were walking towards. Show only a few of the windows. There are people milling around in the buildings doing office work. Ones at a copier, another’s shows a meeting, one more hunched over his desk, etc. No more than 8 or nine windows.
Caption 1: We live in a world of fear. Fear of everything.
Panel 2: Pull out and show the backs of the men they are standing right next to the sign from page 1 you still can’t read the sign. One has a large bag, filled with golf clubs and he is going through it.
Caption1: Fear of terrorism. Fear of death. Fear of hate. Fear of love.
Panel 3: CU of a hand setting a golf ball on a tee. Hand slightly chubby and unkempt.
Caption 1: Anything you can possibly think of someone, somewhere is afraid of it.
Panel 4: Close up on club next to ball. Like he’s lining up the shot before a swing.
Caption 1: Someone out there right now is afraid of butterflies and cowering in fear at the sight of one.
Page 3: This page is just gonna be a series of panels going back and forth between the two men on the roof and the window they are trying to hit in the adjacent building. If it looks better where every panel EXCEPT the first one are the same size and run across TWO pages, go with that. In my head it looks pretty good.
Panel 1
The two men are standing on the edge of the roof. It’s a high noon sun so they are both cast in shadows and you are still unable to tell what they look like. The figure with the golf club has taken the shot and is still in that action. This is the biggest panel on the page.
SFX: THAP!
Caption 1: But the one thing we fear the most?
Panel 2: Close up of a window on the other building. There is a man hunched over his desk (He is one of the others we saw in a past panel). The guy is looking both ways trying to see where the noise came from. You can see that the golf ball hit the window but didn’t break it completely.
SFX. TINK!
Caption1: Ourselves..
Panel 3: Show the guy tightening up on the club again. Just his hands on the club no higher than the shoulder.
Caption 1: Not in the literal way. We don’t look at ourselves in the mirror and run screaming.
Caption 2: No, We run from ourselves in ourselves. From whom we are and who we could be.
Panel 4: Show the guy in the window standing up and turning around to look.
Caption 1: When you reach your 20’s you start to realize that this is the best that it gets.
Caption 2: that their will be no better time than this.
Panel 5: Show the figures eyes (ONLY EYES!) slightly squinted like he’s concentrating on the shot. You can see the other shadowy form in the back ground.
Caption 1: Who you are now is who you are going to be for the rest of your life.
Caption 2: You will not, CANNOT change.
Caption 3: You’re bowling with the bumpers up.
Panel 6: Show the man in the office holding his hand over his eyes like he’s blocking out the son to get a better look at the crack; the crack is pretty level with his chest.
Caption 1: there is no where to go but straight.
Page 4:
Panel 1: Down shot. Show the club in the air with the sunlight bouncing off of its surface. You can also see the two men from above.
Caption 1: You see yourself 20 years from now.
Caption 2: Stuck in a rut. Like this guy here….
Panel 2: CU: Show the man across the street irate at the crack in his window. Maybe his hands in the air whatever, that’s why you’re the artist. Show that he’s pissed off.
Caption 1: Hunched over your desk.
Caption 2: Mad at the world around you because YOU WILL NEVER CONTROL IT.
Panel 3: OS, WS-Show both men from the back more of a focus on the one not holding the golf club. He’s “pointing” at the building across the street. The other figure is still in a back swing.
Caption 1: We refuse to run scared any more.
Figure 1: Get ready…
Panel 4: Show the man now looking scared and shocked the kind of fear that freezes you up so you can’t run and can’t move.
Caption 1: We will not run away from ourselves.
Panel 5: Same Panel as before except now the guy is in a fore swing and it’s a wider shot so you can see that the guy who was “pointing” before is in actuality holding a gun.
Caption 1:
SFX SPEECH: FORE!!
SFX: BANG!!
Panel 6: This is the inside of the office the glass is flying and he is being lifted off his feet from the shot. Show the golf ball bouncing off his head (as he’s flying back) and that the bullet went into his heart. (Maybe the same size as the panel 1 on the previous page)
Caption 1: We will get you…
Page 5:
SPLASH PAGE: Go nuts make it look really fucking good, (this is the first time we actually see their faces) if we want people to come back for more it has to look INSANE. Gun 1’s gun is still smoking and Gun 2 has the golf club resting on his shoulder Aside from that its all you. The sign that they were standing next to is actually the name of the book. Hired Guns. Show them both smiling.
Caption 1: Way before you get us,
Caption 2: and have a blast doing it.