Bandwagon answered - the random scenarios from a couple days ago
Thanks to those of you who indulged me and concocted some questions for me for this silliness.
That was a bit of cracked out diversion I rather needed. Some of my scenarios were very short, and others got more involved.
Gandalf loves booze and literature, Draugluin is screwed, Mairon would rather be canoeing, and other stupid adventures:
My list was just Tolkien fandom because that's how I roll, comprised most of the usual suspects, a few newer ones, a few I've written infrequently (but, I believe, significantly), and my poor corvid OC Angandil who got no love at all (Gríma didn't either, poor old Gríma).
1. Pallando
2. Gríma
3. Ungoliant
4. Alatar
5. Thuringwethil
6. Gandalf
7. Draugluin
8. Ori
9. Saruman
10. Bombur
11. Berúthiel
12. Radagast
13. Mairon
14. Angandil
15. Melkor
curiouswombat's scenarios:
- Melkor is trapped in a lifeboat with a tiger - how do they cope?
To make it fair, this is after Melkor has lost most of his power and might. He still endeavors to daunt his companion with the terror of his eyes. They have an interminable staring match as the boat drifts aimlessly. Occasionally Melkor says something blandly such as “How the nighty have fallen, eh?” and one isn’t sure if he’s referring to the tiger or himself.
- Would Ori and Radagast make sense as a couple? Or would they kill each other?
Neither of them makes much sense even alone. Perhaps they stay together because nobody better comes along. Radagast is affectionate enough when he remembers he has someone in his life who isn’t an animal. Ori is rather bemused, sometimes annoyed, and writes satirical sonnets with titles such as “Thy Bobcat Comes Betwixt Us Yet Again.”
- Draugluin is pregnant. Which of Thuringwethil, Bombur or Mairon is most likely to be the other parent?
Pressed for details about the father of his whelps, Draugluin dropped three names. Wagging tongues ruled out Bombur on the basis of the Dwarf existing in the wrong Age, and Thuringwethil on the grounds that she is known to dislike Draugluin. It was generally agreed that Mairon was the father, which made a good deal of sense given how Draugluin had already been the subject of other breeding experiments conducted by Mairon. Sources close to him speculated that Draugluin had only accused two others out of reluctance to admit that Mairon had (this time literally) screwed him yet again.
hhimring's scenarios:
- Ungoliant publishes a book of poetry. Gandalf reviews it. Is it a rave review or a flame?
Gandalf the Grey reviews Eat, Eight, Ungoliant’s debut poetry volume: I suppose it’s all right as poetry goes. I think it could be better. It could surely be worse. All the stanzas comprise eight lines. Ungoliant demonstrates a thematic preoccupation with light, shiny objects, and devouring everything. I can say it gets better the more hits I take of this excellent Old Toby. I can also say that, after reading this volume, I am definitely not giving any of this excellent Old Toby to Ungoliant, for she’ll surely bogart it all.
- Saruman wins a Nobel Prize for cutting-edge research. What is the subject?
Clearly this was for inquiries into the bioengineering of photosynthesizing hominids, which produced verifiable results in the form of Uruk-hai-who can not only tolerate sunlight but also use it as an additional source of energy, enabling them to run for days on end. The committee, speculating that this brilliant but woefully misused technology could be applied to such philanthropic endeavors as feeding the poor, offered Saruman the Nobel in exchange for access to his notes and laboratory.
- Draugluin and Mairon and Melkor go for a boating-trip. Which river or lake is it and how long can they stick it out together?
They’re definitely canoeing down Anduin on a surveying trip, which was all Mairon’s idea. In fact, Mairon finds the situation quite charming, because when he’s not torturing people or inventing weird stuff he enjoys pleasant scenery the company of friends. Draugluin, however, is extremely intimidated by the close proximity of Melkor. Melkor is broody because he hates water and can’t figure out how he agreed to this, but his amusement at Draugluin’s terror somewhat compensates.
indy1776's scenarios:
- Alatar and Ori -- which is more likely to bake the other a cake?
Ori would probably be much more likely to do something considerate like this. Unless Alatar had had a bit too much brandy, which is always a possibility, in which case he might co-opt the kitchen and emerge with a burnt disaster, hollering, “Hey, Ori, I made you a booze cake!”
- Thuringwethil and Melkor -- which is more likely to plot to take over the world in a completely ridiculous fashion?
Definitely Melkor. In fact, he has done this! On more than one occasion.
- Gandalf and Radagast -- which is more likely to sit in front of a fire curled up with a good book? What are they reading?
I think Radagast is not so very concerned with reading. I could see Gandalf getting a kick out De La Barca’s La Vida es Sueño (Life is a Dream).
- Pallando, Ungoliant, and Alatar -- which are likely to marry and plot the other's downfall?
Hmm. Ungoliant seems most malignant, but I’m not sure she’s capable of sustained, involved plotting. I could maybe see Pallando and Alatar doing this rather late in their careers when everything falls to crap (my thoughts on what happened to them in the east of Middle-earth are not particularly optimistic).
- Thuringwethil and Gandalf -- would they get drunk together? What would they talk about?
I tend to think Gandalf would get drunk with just about anyone, but I see Thuringwethil as somewhat severe. He could always spike her mug of blood when she wasn’t looking, I suppose. If he did succeed in rendering her drunk, he’d ply her with invasive questions about why she joined Melkor’s side (partly out of genuine curiosity, and partly to glean information on the enemy).
bunn's scenarios:
- Pallando, Melkor and Ungoliant become involved in a huge argument. What is it about?
With my conceptions of those characters, probably spacetime and its ramifications for power and perception. Yep.
- Gandalf invites Thuringwethil, Saruman, and Radagast to dinner. Where is it, and what do they eat?
Probably a pub of questionable quality. [Per my Thuringwethil and Gandalf drinking scenario in response to Indy’s question above,] Gandalf probably has big plans to get Thuringwethil drunk and psychoanalyze her and also glean information from her. Saruman and Radagast were invited as a cover, to make it seem like an innocent gathering. I think they’re all just eating greasy appetizers, and since everyone knows that Gandalf has a talent for getting others drunk they’re all just nursing a beer warily. Saruman and Thuringwethil are sullen, Radagast is going on about his pet snail and no one cares, and Gandalf is smoking more than usual because it’s not panning out. It’s all really quite awkward…
engarian's scenario:
- Berúthiel, Radagast, and Mairon are waiting for Gandalf to join them for a meal. Where are they? What is the conversation while they wait? What has delayed Gandalf?
Berúthiel: *totally fangirling Mairon and trying to play it cool* I’m a descendant of Lord Fuinur, of course.
Mairon: Of course. Charming. *this is too easy to be interesting* So, Aiwendil, you’re looking old and hairy these days.
Radagast: Thanks!
Berúthiel: So um, Radagast, what do you, er, do?
Radagast: Animals.
Mairon: You “do” animals? *polite snicker behind his hand*
Radagast: Good heavens, no, I meant that animals are my life.
Berúthiel: OMG. Do you like cats?
Radagast: *beams* I love cats! *the two start babbling happily about cats*
Mairon: Oh for Melkor’s sake… Aiwendil, where is Olórin? I thought he’d be walking into my trap, er, joining us for dinner, right about now.
Radagast: He’s still at the pub down the street, trying to get Thuringwethil and Saruman drunk.
Mairon: Good luck to him, those two are about as fun and sociable as a dead monk.
Berúthiel: *whips out a tiny photo album* Permit me to show you pictures of my gorgeous cats.
Radagast: Say, who’s that one? I think I met her before.
Mairon: Screw it, I’m going to the pub.
That was a bit of cracked out diversion I rather needed. Some of my scenarios were very short, and others got more involved.
Gandalf loves booze and literature, Draugluin is screwed, Mairon would rather be canoeing, and other stupid adventures:
My list was just Tolkien fandom because that's how I roll, comprised most of the usual suspects, a few newer ones, a few I've written infrequently (but, I believe, significantly), and my poor corvid OC Angandil who got no love at all (Gríma didn't either, poor old Gríma).
1. Pallando
2. Gríma
3. Ungoliant
4. Alatar
5. Thuringwethil
6. Gandalf
7. Draugluin
8. Ori
9. Saruman
10. Bombur
11. Berúthiel
12. Radagast
13. Mairon
14. Angandil
15. Melkor
curiouswombat's scenarios:
- Melkor is trapped in a lifeboat with a tiger - how do they cope?
To make it fair, this is after Melkor has lost most of his power and might. He still endeavors to daunt his companion with the terror of his eyes. They have an interminable staring match as the boat drifts aimlessly. Occasionally Melkor says something blandly such as “How the nighty have fallen, eh?” and one isn’t sure if he’s referring to the tiger or himself.
- Would Ori and Radagast make sense as a couple? Or would they kill each other?
Neither of them makes much sense even alone. Perhaps they stay together because nobody better comes along. Radagast is affectionate enough when he remembers he has someone in his life who isn’t an animal. Ori is rather bemused, sometimes annoyed, and writes satirical sonnets with titles such as “Thy Bobcat Comes Betwixt Us Yet Again.”
- Draugluin is pregnant. Which of Thuringwethil, Bombur or Mairon is most likely to be the other parent?
Pressed for details about the father of his whelps, Draugluin dropped three names. Wagging tongues ruled out Bombur on the basis of the Dwarf existing in the wrong Age, and Thuringwethil on the grounds that she is known to dislike Draugluin. It was generally agreed that Mairon was the father, which made a good deal of sense given how Draugluin had already been the subject of other breeding experiments conducted by Mairon. Sources close to him speculated that Draugluin had only accused two others out of reluctance to admit that Mairon had (this time literally) screwed him yet again.
hhimring's scenarios:
- Ungoliant publishes a book of poetry. Gandalf reviews it. Is it a rave review or a flame?
Gandalf the Grey reviews Eat, Eight, Ungoliant’s debut poetry volume: I suppose it’s all right as poetry goes. I think it could be better. It could surely be worse. All the stanzas comprise eight lines. Ungoliant demonstrates a thematic preoccupation with light, shiny objects, and devouring everything. I can say it gets better the more hits I take of this excellent Old Toby. I can also say that, after reading this volume, I am definitely not giving any of this excellent Old Toby to Ungoliant, for she’ll surely bogart it all.
- Saruman wins a Nobel Prize for cutting-edge research. What is the subject?
Clearly this was for inquiries into the bioengineering of photosynthesizing hominids, which produced verifiable results in the form of Uruk-hai-who can not only tolerate sunlight but also use it as an additional source of energy, enabling them to run for days on end. The committee, speculating that this brilliant but woefully misused technology could be applied to such philanthropic endeavors as feeding the poor, offered Saruman the Nobel in exchange for access to his notes and laboratory.
- Draugluin and Mairon and Melkor go for a boating-trip. Which river or lake is it and how long can they stick it out together?
They’re definitely canoeing down Anduin on a surveying trip, which was all Mairon’s idea. In fact, Mairon finds the situation quite charming, because when he’s not torturing people or inventing weird stuff he enjoys pleasant scenery the company of friends. Draugluin, however, is extremely intimidated by the close proximity of Melkor. Melkor is broody because he hates water and can’t figure out how he agreed to this, but his amusement at Draugluin’s terror somewhat compensates.
indy1776's scenarios:
- Alatar and Ori -- which is more likely to bake the other a cake?
Ori would probably be much more likely to do something considerate like this. Unless Alatar had had a bit too much brandy, which is always a possibility, in which case he might co-opt the kitchen and emerge with a burnt disaster, hollering, “Hey, Ori, I made you a booze cake!”
- Thuringwethil and Melkor -- which is more likely to plot to take over the world in a completely ridiculous fashion?
Definitely Melkor. In fact, he has done this! On more than one occasion.
- Gandalf and Radagast -- which is more likely to sit in front of a fire curled up with a good book? What are they reading?
I think Radagast is not so very concerned with reading. I could see Gandalf getting a kick out De La Barca’s La Vida es Sueño (Life is a Dream).
- Pallando, Ungoliant, and Alatar -- which are likely to marry and plot the other's downfall?
Hmm. Ungoliant seems most malignant, but I’m not sure she’s capable of sustained, involved plotting. I could maybe see Pallando and Alatar doing this rather late in their careers when everything falls to crap (my thoughts on what happened to them in the east of Middle-earth are not particularly optimistic).
- Thuringwethil and Gandalf -- would they get drunk together? What would they talk about?
I tend to think Gandalf would get drunk with just about anyone, but I see Thuringwethil as somewhat severe. He could always spike her mug of blood when she wasn’t looking, I suppose. If he did succeed in rendering her drunk, he’d ply her with invasive questions about why she joined Melkor’s side (partly out of genuine curiosity, and partly to glean information on the enemy).
bunn's scenarios:
- Pallando, Melkor and Ungoliant become involved in a huge argument. What is it about?
With my conceptions of those characters, probably spacetime and its ramifications for power and perception. Yep.
- Gandalf invites Thuringwethil, Saruman, and Radagast to dinner. Where is it, and what do they eat?
Probably a pub of questionable quality. [Per my Thuringwethil and Gandalf drinking scenario in response to Indy’s question above,] Gandalf probably has big plans to get Thuringwethil drunk and psychoanalyze her and also glean information from her. Saruman and Radagast were invited as a cover, to make it seem like an innocent gathering. I think they’re all just eating greasy appetizers, and since everyone knows that Gandalf has a talent for getting others drunk they’re all just nursing a beer warily. Saruman and Thuringwethil are sullen, Radagast is going on about his pet snail and no one cares, and Gandalf is smoking more than usual because it’s not panning out. It’s all really quite awkward…
engarian's scenario:
- Berúthiel, Radagast, and Mairon are waiting for Gandalf to join them for a meal. Where are they? What is the conversation while they wait? What has delayed Gandalf?
Berúthiel: *totally fangirling Mairon and trying to play it cool* I’m a descendant of Lord Fuinur, of course.
Mairon: Of course. Charming. *this is too easy to be interesting* So, Aiwendil, you’re looking old and hairy these days.
Radagast: Thanks!
Berúthiel: So um, Radagast, what do you, er, do?
Radagast: Animals.
Mairon: You “do” animals? *polite snicker behind his hand*
Radagast: Good heavens, no, I meant that animals are my life.
Berúthiel: OMG. Do you like cats?
Radagast: *beams* I love cats! *the two start babbling happily about cats*
Mairon: Oh for Melkor’s sake… Aiwendil, where is Olórin? I thought he’d be walking into my trap, er, joining us for dinner, right about now.
Radagast: He’s still at the pub down the street, trying to get Thuringwethil and Saruman drunk.
Mairon: Good luck to him, those two are about as fun and sociable as a dead monk.
Berúthiel: *whips out a tiny photo album* Permit me to show you pictures of my gorgeous cats.
Radagast: Say, who’s that one? I think I met her before.
Mairon: Screw it, I’m going to the pub.