(no subject)
1. Title / Prompt. Alone/December- June 005- Yearn
2. Character. Bai Tza
3. Warnings (if any.): N/A
4. Pairings (if any.) N/A
5. Your character's fandom: Jackie Chan Adventures
6. Word count. 600
7. Rating. PG
8. Disclaimer. Not mine, Bai would’ve definitely murdered me by this point if it was.
9. Link to your fic / Fic.
“You’re lonely, aren’t you?” The inner voice asks and she has to pause in brushing her hair; the blonde strand freezing damply around her fingers and she studies her reflection in the pool - her human reflection; her ever so weak body with its frail bones just waiting to be snapped. She should’ve expected the question really- it, or something like it, comes at least once a day from somewhere deep within her; a constant reminder of how weak she now is. Familiarity should breed resistance to emotion- and yet it still stuns the breath out of her puny lungs every single day.
Eventually she resumes her brushing; eyes falling away from the human reflected before her- it’ll only bring pain “it does not matter.”
“It does” the voice answers her mockingly; it’s constantly mocking that voice- without it perhaps she could trick herself into some semblance of normality- force herself into believing that she still has power over all of these humans; that she’s still better than all of them.
With the voice? She can’t lie to herself; and that forces anger “shut up; just shut up. What do you know? You are nothing compared to me; you know nothing of what I know- I do not miss anything or anybody!”
“Yes you do” the voice replies instantly; almost smugly- well aware of her fruitless attempts to block it out (all of her attempts are fruitless these days) “you miss your servants, you miss having so many fear you… And above all you miss your siblings; you miss having them around.”
“Shut up!” She yells- a small part of her grateful that nobody else is around to witness this insanity. There are only birds to startle from the trees around here- no humans to laugh and point or to show concern; nothing else to torture her- nobody else to throw the truth in her face when she is lying so very low.
“No” the voice answers her scream with smug amusement- she can almost hear it laughing at her pointless rage; everybody laughs at her these days and she can’t stop them- she can only throw her ridiculous rage at them and nothing else; she can only make herself look a fool- she can almost sympathise with Shendu now; with being trapped in a world without respect.
But the torture isn’t over yet- for the voice leaps on the unwilling dagger that hits her heart when she thinks of her siblings and twists; making sure to prod at the hidden despair until it seems to be eating her up whole “you need them and you miss them; you are nothing without them.”
“I don’t need them!” she snarls; hating herself for the shudder in her voice- she cannot break, she cannot- demons do not break no matter how much they want to; thus she cannot break- she cannot allow it; it wouldn’t be right “I am better without them; they all looked up to me- I can rule without them; I always could but they never let me.”
“Liar” the voice p[purrs at her.
“No” She snarls back, hand ripping through her hair so fast that it leaves trails of pain.
“Yes you are” the voice sounds so smug now that she wants to rip it apart; wants to make it respect her.
“No!” she screams at it; and then forces herself to breath- forces herself to slow “go away- I don’t need you, I don’t need anybody- I’m fine; I’m better than anything else anyway. Nothing is needed- nothing.”
But as the voice just laughs at her even she can taste the lie burning on her tongue- and despite everything she still knows deep down that she is nothing; and it breaks her apart.
2. Character. Bai Tza
3. Warnings (if any.): N/A
4. Pairings (if any.) N/A
5. Your character's fandom: Jackie Chan Adventures
6. Word count. 600
7. Rating. PG
8. Disclaimer. Not mine, Bai would’ve definitely murdered me by this point if it was.
9. Link to your fic / Fic.
“You’re lonely, aren’t you?” The inner voice asks and she has to pause in brushing her hair; the blonde strand freezing damply around her fingers and she studies her reflection in the pool - her human reflection; her ever so weak body with its frail bones just waiting to be snapped. She should’ve expected the question really- it, or something like it, comes at least once a day from somewhere deep within her; a constant reminder of how weak she now is. Familiarity should breed resistance to emotion- and yet it still stuns the breath out of her puny lungs every single day.
Eventually she resumes her brushing; eyes falling away from the human reflected before her- it’ll only bring pain “it does not matter.”
“It does” the voice answers her mockingly; it’s constantly mocking that voice- without it perhaps she could trick herself into some semblance of normality- force herself into believing that she still has power over all of these humans; that she’s still better than all of them.
With the voice? She can’t lie to herself; and that forces anger “shut up; just shut up. What do you know? You are nothing compared to me; you know nothing of what I know- I do not miss anything or anybody!”
“Yes you do” the voice replies instantly; almost smugly- well aware of her fruitless attempts to block it out (all of her attempts are fruitless these days) “you miss your servants, you miss having so many fear you… And above all you miss your siblings; you miss having them around.”
“Shut up!” She yells- a small part of her grateful that nobody else is around to witness this insanity. There are only birds to startle from the trees around here- no humans to laugh and point or to show concern; nothing else to torture her- nobody else to throw the truth in her face when she is lying so very low.
“No” the voice answers her scream with smug amusement- she can almost hear it laughing at her pointless rage; everybody laughs at her these days and she can’t stop them- she can only throw her ridiculous rage at them and nothing else; she can only make herself look a fool- she can almost sympathise with Shendu now; with being trapped in a world without respect.
But the torture isn’t over yet- for the voice leaps on the unwilling dagger that hits her heart when she thinks of her siblings and twists; making sure to prod at the hidden despair until it seems to be eating her up whole “you need them and you miss them; you are nothing without them.”
“I don’t need them!” she snarls; hating herself for the shudder in her voice- she cannot break, she cannot- demons do not break no matter how much they want to; thus she cannot break- she cannot allow it; it wouldn’t be right “I am better without them; they all looked up to me- I can rule without them; I always could but they never let me.”
“Liar” the voice p[purrs at her.
“No” She snarls back, hand ripping through her hair so fast that it leaves trails of pain.
“Yes you are” the voice sounds so smug now that she wants to rip it apart; wants to make it respect her.
“No!” she screams at it; and then forces herself to breath- forces herself to slow “go away- I don’t need you, I don’t need anybody- I’m fine; I’m better than anything else anyway. Nothing is needed- nothing.”
But as the voice just laughs at her even she can taste the lie burning on her tongue- and despite everything she still knows deep down that she is nothing; and it breaks her apart.