Priapus

[humphrey_clarke]

Over the past six months I have come to the conclusion that there are certain things a man needs if he is to achieve a modicum of contentedness. These are, in no particular order, a good woman, a well-stocked liquor cabinet and a job title that makes it sounds as if he has enormous genitalia. From January my official job title will be ‘Business

Comments

[okokjazz]

I had a classics teacher who came up with the best description of Priapus - obviously, she couldn't say to a class of 30 teenage girls that he was the God of Cock, but she did describe him as Lord of the Engorged Phallus, which I always thought was pretty good. He's also God of Gardens, which led to the whole of the middle ages mentioning trees and giggling. Gardens...cocks...all the same thing at bottom...

[humphrey_clarke]

I heard that the rumour was that if you put a statue of Priapus in your garden it would vigerously sodomise anyone who came to steal apples from your orchard. Much more effective than a burgler alarm. Then again, it does sound like something my dad would just make up.

Priapus

[uncle_marshal]

Priapus, a son of Dionisos was an early fertility god who was a general god of farms and gardens. he is always depicted with an enormous erect penis. Most of the time he just stands there leering and displaying his enormous phallus by raising his shirt, Sometimes he is weighing it in scales, and at other times he is anointing it with oil. At one time his statues were everywhere and propitiated with the first-fruits of the harvest. Priapus protected property as well. He is somewhat linked with Pan, Faunus, Hermes and Silvanus. He was seen as a benevolent, slightly comical figure. He was also a favourite with the military

[matttt]

Yuck, London! But best of luck!

[humphrey_clarke]

Oh well, I guess I was inevitably going to have to move there.