All Yours
A/N:Hi there. This is excruciatingly short, in my opinion. Roughly 1.6K words. Been wanting to write this in a while. Don't expect too much please, I think I accidentally raised expectations on my writing with Sixteen Hours To None. I'm sorry. Lol. To be honest, I think this has been done quite a lot but I hope I managed to make it make it non-cliche-ish.
P.S; Thank you, though. For the response on the previous two shots. Heard a lot of feedback about it so thank you<3 I hope I didn't disappoint with this one. ^^
P.P.S; I'm too lazy to edit properly. :D
Rock bottom.
Sometimes, Tiffany would hit rock bottom. Her heart would just fall along with her tears and everything would seem pitch black; hopeless, cold and deafeningly quiet, and she could be in a room crowded with people but she would still feel so lonely. Most nights, she would feel nothing. Some nights, she would feel good but it was nights like these that she wished would just disappear. Even when she did fall and hit rock bottom, painfully, she would hide them all behind her smile. The smile everyone seemed to love and adore. It made them happy to see her smile, they said, so she would smile for them and somehow, she thought maybe if it made them happy, it could make her happy too. Sometimes, it worked and seeing them smiling back so warmly, it would warm her whole being and she would feel better. Other times, it made her feel worse instead; she wondered why they were so happy when all she felt like doing was to curl up in a corner and cry her heart out.
Tonight would be that night; where she would smile the whole day to everyone she saw and even made them laugh a few times but nothing could make her feel better so she decided to cut the act because it got too tiring; it was too draining. Tonight, she lied in bed at 8pm, hitting rock bottom for the nth time, and missing her family, who were all the way back in sunny California, badly. Funny, how after 8 years of independence, she still felt like a lost homesick teenager who wanted nothing but to hear her father’s dragging slow footsteps as he walked around the house, her sister’s contagious laughter bouncing off the walls and even her brother’s constant annoying jokes that made her want to tape his mouth shut. She missed them so much and even though it was her choice to be that far away from them, she could never find the heart to regret her decision because that was what she wanted. She wanted her dream and she got her dream. She was living her dream and being on stage might be one of the happiest things she could do. It would be one of the happiest things and yet, sometimes, even her dream couldn’t make her happy on the nights she felt so lonely.
Her other family, her members, were outside in the living room and she could hear the chatters and laughter of the girls she regarded her sisters. She wondered if they knew, of all the times she faked her smiles and forced her laughter, because if they did, they had never let it showed. Maybe they didn’t know what to do because she was positive they cared a whole lot. Sometimes, she suspected they knew because they would somehow go an extra mile just to cheer her up. It could be engaging her in a playful banter or showering her with affectionate gestures; hugging, ruffling of her hair or even making her lie her head on their lap as they watched the television and stroking her hair in an oddly comforting manner. Sometimes they’d look at her with soft gazes and give her a side-hug as they walk. They would do all that but they had never talked to her about it. They would do all of that and sometimes it would help but other times, like tonight, it wouldn’t.
She curled up and buried her face in her blanket, sobbing quietly into it and her senses just tuned out everything else; the chatters of her girls, the television blaring. She couldn’t hear anything but the beating of her own heart and the occasional sobs escaping her. She sniffed and not so surprisingly, she suddenly felt her head being lifted slightly and warmth engulfing her as a petite body pressed against her own and her head pressed snugly against a slender neck. She caught the familiar scent of vanilla and reciprocated the hug, holding the person close. She didn’t like crying in front of anyone. She hated it but tonight was an exception and the person holding her was an exception.
“Shh… it’s okay,” a familiar voice cooed, and somehow it warmed the coldness she felt in her chest. “I’m here.”
Her sobs calmed with every gentle stroke of her hair and eventually, it stopped altogether. She shifted her position a little and felt the arms around her loosen before holding her close again when she stopped moving. It wasn’t the first time she was caught crying by the same person, nor was it the first time they ended up in the same oddly comfortable position. She wondered why she was never asked the reason of her tears. Maybe it was already known or maybe it didn’t matter, she wasn’t sure and usually she didn’t care but tonight she did and tonight she wanted to know why. The gentle strokes through her hair stopped and she frowned.
“Taeyeon?” she called softly, her lips brushed slightly against the slender neck. As she waited for a response, she wondered if the girl holding her had fallen asleep like the many times they held each other like that. She wanted to know why Taeyeon always found her when she needed someone the most, even if Tiffany would never admit that, and why Taeyeon would never ask. She wanted to know but the moment she spoke up, she was suddenly aware of the muffled noises outside her room. The moment she spoke up, she felt awkward because they were never the type to speak of their feelings, alone or not.
“Hmm?” came a lazy reply as Taeyeon rested her cheek on her head.
“Oh, um..,” she pondered and changed her mind, “Nothing.”
They got quiet again and she started to remember how it were when they were still trainees. When it was just them and everyone knew them as a pair instead of individuals because they were always together. She remembered how Taeyeon would be patient with her childish tantrums and even throw some of her own on days they were just too tired to think rationally. She hardly hit rock bottom then. She did, but it wasn’t as much; it didn’t hurt as much, she didn’t feel that lonely. It didn’t change much when they first debuted either. Taeyeon had her own solo activities but they were still always together, despite having 7 others living under the same roof. It didn’t change much then but it did eventually. She didn’t know when nor did she know how but Taeyeon seemed uncomfortable being around her in public. It didn’t matter at first but suddenly Taeyeon didn’t seem comfortable with her in private either. That or maybe it was just her because suddenly it was just a little awkward between them; a little too awkward. They started drifting apart and they started to spend more time with the other members instead. Thinking back, she still couldn’t understand why.
Then came that incident of the man who tried to pull Taeyeon off stage and Tiffany remembered it had shook her whole being. She had felt so guilty because she felt like she was supposed to be there for her and protect her. The night of that incident, Taeyeon had withdrawn herself, physically and emotionally, from the whole group and no one knew what to do. No one knew how to deal with Taeyeon being so fragile, not even Sunny, and she knew that was her opportunity to redeem herself. That was her chance because she’d like to think she was still the one who knew Taeyeon the best and to a certain extent, she did because while the others thought it was best to leave the girl alone, she knew all Taeyeon wanted was to know that someone was there. She knew that and ignored the others’ protests as she went to Sunny’s and Taeyeon’s shared room and entered, only to find it empty. Tiffany had found her later that night, in her own room instead; curled up in her own bed with the blanket all the way up to her chin. No words were spoken and no words were needed as she climbed into bed with her and they held onto each other the whole night. That was the night she knew that they both still had something special. Something no one but them could understand and despite the thought that they had long lost it, they had found it again. A few nights after that would be the first time in years that Taeyeon had found her crying and held her to sleep.
“Tiffany?” she heard Taeyeon mumble, breaking through her thoughts. “What makes you happy?”
She thought about it. What was happiness? Was it that feeling that tickled her heart, made her feel the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders, that thing that tugged the edge of her lips up and made her eyes mimic them just so she would smile even if she wasn’t conscious of it? Was it that feeling that would just warm her heart and felt like home no matter where she was? How does one define happiness? There were so many ways to define happiness.
What made her happy then? A lot of things did.
Her family.
Her girls.
Singing.
Performing.
Everything pink.
Cute stuff.
Hugs.
Shopping.
Her.
“You,” she blurted out and winced the moment the word managed to escape her lips. She was surprised that she really did mean it so she didn’t take it back. The effect of it caused her to curl her fingers and she hoped that Taeyeon wouldn’t mind.
“Me?” she heard her chuckle lightly and she was pulled closer. “Okay... Feel free to hog me all the time then. I’m all yours.”
*******************
A/N: Cheesy title is cheesy, eh? /cringes/ I'm really sorry, I couldn't think of something wise and epic. LOL. Okay, bye. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and to some, good day. ^^
P.S; Thank you, though. For the response on the previous two shots. Heard a lot of feedback about it so thank you<3 I hope I didn't disappoint with this one. ^^
P.P.S; I'm too lazy to edit properly. :D
Rock bottom.
Sometimes, Tiffany would hit rock bottom. Her heart would just fall along with her tears and everything would seem pitch black; hopeless, cold and deafeningly quiet, and she could be in a room crowded with people but she would still feel so lonely. Most nights, she would feel nothing. Some nights, she would feel good but it was nights like these that she wished would just disappear. Even when she did fall and hit rock bottom, painfully, she would hide them all behind her smile. The smile everyone seemed to love and adore. It made them happy to see her smile, they said, so she would smile for them and somehow, she thought maybe if it made them happy, it could make her happy too. Sometimes, it worked and seeing them smiling back so warmly, it would warm her whole being and she would feel better. Other times, it made her feel worse instead; she wondered why they were so happy when all she felt like doing was to curl up in a corner and cry her heart out.
Tonight would be that night; where she would smile the whole day to everyone she saw and even made them laugh a few times but nothing could make her feel better so she decided to cut the act because it got too tiring; it was too draining. Tonight, she lied in bed at 8pm, hitting rock bottom for the nth time, and missing her family, who were all the way back in sunny California, badly. Funny, how after 8 years of independence, she still felt like a lost homesick teenager who wanted nothing but to hear her father’s dragging slow footsteps as he walked around the house, her sister’s contagious laughter bouncing off the walls and even her brother’s constant annoying jokes that made her want to tape his mouth shut. She missed them so much and even though it was her choice to be that far away from them, she could never find the heart to regret her decision because that was what she wanted. She wanted her dream and she got her dream. She was living her dream and being on stage might be one of the happiest things she could do. It would be one of the happiest things and yet, sometimes, even her dream couldn’t make her happy on the nights she felt so lonely.
Her other family, her members, were outside in the living room and she could hear the chatters and laughter of the girls she regarded her sisters. She wondered if they knew, of all the times she faked her smiles and forced her laughter, because if they did, they had never let it showed. Maybe they didn’t know what to do because she was positive they cared a whole lot. Sometimes, she suspected they knew because they would somehow go an extra mile just to cheer her up. It could be engaging her in a playful banter or showering her with affectionate gestures; hugging, ruffling of her hair or even making her lie her head on their lap as they watched the television and stroking her hair in an oddly comforting manner. Sometimes they’d look at her with soft gazes and give her a side-hug as they walk. They would do all that but they had never talked to her about it. They would do all of that and sometimes it would help but other times, like tonight, it wouldn’t.
She curled up and buried her face in her blanket, sobbing quietly into it and her senses just tuned out everything else; the chatters of her girls, the television blaring. She couldn’t hear anything but the beating of her own heart and the occasional sobs escaping her. She sniffed and not so surprisingly, she suddenly felt her head being lifted slightly and warmth engulfing her as a petite body pressed against her own and her head pressed snugly against a slender neck. She caught the familiar scent of vanilla and reciprocated the hug, holding the person close. She didn’t like crying in front of anyone. She hated it but tonight was an exception and the person holding her was an exception.
“Shh… it’s okay,” a familiar voice cooed, and somehow it warmed the coldness she felt in her chest. “I’m here.”
Her sobs calmed with every gentle stroke of her hair and eventually, it stopped altogether. She shifted her position a little and felt the arms around her loosen before holding her close again when she stopped moving. It wasn’t the first time she was caught crying by the same person, nor was it the first time they ended up in the same oddly comfortable position. She wondered why she was never asked the reason of her tears. Maybe it was already known or maybe it didn’t matter, she wasn’t sure and usually she didn’t care but tonight she did and tonight she wanted to know why. The gentle strokes through her hair stopped and she frowned.
“Taeyeon?” she called softly, her lips brushed slightly against the slender neck. As she waited for a response, she wondered if the girl holding her had fallen asleep like the many times they held each other like that. She wanted to know why Taeyeon always found her when she needed someone the most, even if Tiffany would never admit that, and why Taeyeon would never ask. She wanted to know but the moment she spoke up, she was suddenly aware of the muffled noises outside her room. The moment she spoke up, she felt awkward because they were never the type to speak of their feelings, alone or not.
“Hmm?” came a lazy reply as Taeyeon rested her cheek on her head.
“Oh, um..,” she pondered and changed her mind, “Nothing.”
They got quiet again and she started to remember how it were when they were still trainees. When it was just them and everyone knew them as a pair instead of individuals because they were always together. She remembered how Taeyeon would be patient with her childish tantrums and even throw some of her own on days they were just too tired to think rationally. She hardly hit rock bottom then. She did, but it wasn’t as much; it didn’t hurt as much, she didn’t feel that lonely. It didn’t change much when they first debuted either. Taeyeon had her own solo activities but they were still always together, despite having 7 others living under the same roof. It didn’t change much then but it did eventually. She didn’t know when nor did she know how but Taeyeon seemed uncomfortable being around her in public. It didn’t matter at first but suddenly Taeyeon didn’t seem comfortable with her in private either. That or maybe it was just her because suddenly it was just a little awkward between them; a little too awkward. They started drifting apart and they started to spend more time with the other members instead. Thinking back, she still couldn’t understand why.
Then came that incident of the man who tried to pull Taeyeon off stage and Tiffany remembered it had shook her whole being. She had felt so guilty because she felt like she was supposed to be there for her and protect her. The night of that incident, Taeyeon had withdrawn herself, physically and emotionally, from the whole group and no one knew what to do. No one knew how to deal with Taeyeon being so fragile, not even Sunny, and she knew that was her opportunity to redeem herself. That was her chance because she’d like to think she was still the one who knew Taeyeon the best and to a certain extent, she did because while the others thought it was best to leave the girl alone, she knew all Taeyeon wanted was to know that someone was there. She knew that and ignored the others’ protests as she went to Sunny’s and Taeyeon’s shared room and entered, only to find it empty. Tiffany had found her later that night, in her own room instead; curled up in her own bed with the blanket all the way up to her chin. No words were spoken and no words were needed as she climbed into bed with her and they held onto each other the whole night. That was the night she knew that they both still had something special. Something no one but them could understand and despite the thought that they had long lost it, they had found it again. A few nights after that would be the first time in years that Taeyeon had found her crying and held her to sleep.
“Tiffany?” she heard Taeyeon mumble, breaking through her thoughts. “What makes you happy?”
She thought about it. What was happiness? Was it that feeling that tickled her heart, made her feel the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders, that thing that tugged the edge of her lips up and made her eyes mimic them just so she would smile even if she wasn’t conscious of it? Was it that feeling that would just warm her heart and felt like home no matter where she was? How does one define happiness? There were so many ways to define happiness.
What made her happy then? A lot of things did.
Her family.
Her girls.
Singing.
Performing.
Everything pink.
Cute stuff.
Hugs.
Shopping.
Her.
“You,” she blurted out and winced the moment the word managed to escape her lips. She was surprised that she really did mean it so she didn’t take it back. The effect of it caused her to curl her fingers and she hoped that Taeyeon wouldn’t mind.
“Me?” she heard her chuckle lightly and she was pulled closer. “Okay... Feel free to hog me all the time then. I’m all yours.”
*******************
A/N: Cheesy title is cheesy, eh? /cringes/ I'm really sorry, I couldn't think of something wise and epic. LOL. Okay, bye. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and to some, good day. ^^