Wavering
the more i think about it, the more i realize that i have to honor my agreements with stephen, regardless of the emotional dynamic between us. no matter how much friction we experience, we still agreed to love, honor, and respect each other in a committed monogamous relationship until i step on the plane to alaska. after that, as stephen says, "
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i sat around and chatted with a woman this evening. she is ok to look at and sorta intelligent so it wasn't too bad. she was all sexed up, for me! i felt her intense attraction. i ache with her longing now. i enjoyed the interaction, but didn't couldn't wouldn't screw her. i feel like i'm with you.
we are on hiatus, in which we each are autonomous, free to pursue whatever. i fear, i almost presume, that you won't get back with me. yet i'm faithful. am i just stupid?
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