Always
Title: Always
Authoress:
hunters_retreat
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Summary: Dean swore he'd save Sam if it was the last thing he did. Dean was always a man of his word.
Word Count: 1954
Author's Note: This was the second fanfic I wrote and I wanted to see what someone else could do with it. I still love the piece, but as a more experienced writer I keep wondering what I would do differently. Soooo... I put this one out there for the kamikazeremix . I was blessed to have
britomart_is take up the challenge. She did an absolutely fabulous job with this story and I can't say enough about it. You have to go read it too :P You can find it here: Dulce et Decorum Est [the mustard gas remix]
Always
The enemy lines had been drawn the previous night and Dean Winchester stared across the fire, looking through it really, his thoughts lost on the world around him. He didn’t want to think tonight. Battle was coming tomorrow. The demon hordes were gathered and so were the hunters. There was no telling when the fighting would actually start, but Dean hated the wait, hated the anticipation that came with being at the eye of the storm. And there was no mistake about that.
The storm was Sammy and Dean had never seen anything as beautiful or as terrifying as his brother in control of this whole thing. It was his visions that gave the army their chance against the others. It was his leadership and skill that had brought them here. In a way, Dean was proud because it had been his training along with Dad’s that had seen Sammy rise so far so fast. There were other reasons for it as well though and Dean preferred not to think of them.
He shook his head and stood from the fire, startling the people around him. Sammy looked up from the makeshift table they were all pouring over and eyed his brother. “You alright Dean?” He asked. There was warmth there, so much concern and love that Dean hated to hear it. Hated to hear it where the others knew. Hated that while people feared Sammy, they didn’t have any trouble talking in front of Dean whenever Sammy was out of ear shot.
He nodded, giving Sammy one of his best smiled. Sam frowned and he just shook his head. “I’m fine Sammy. Stop worrying like a girl. I just hate the waiting.” He looked around at the others, feeling sick and unwelcome. “I’m going to catch a few before anything starts happening.”
“You sure you’re ok?”
Sammy knew something was bothering him. Hell, Sammy could probably find out for himself if he wanted to, but he’d promised Dean never to look in his mind after he’d learned to use his powers. It was a sign of trust and love and Dean was never more amazed by that than he was now. “Yeah.” He hesitated a moment, but said the words anyway, not caring about the snickering anymore. “You should come to bed too. Everyone knows what they’re supposed to do Sammy. Rest before it begins.”
Sammy was at his side a moment later, a firm hand on his cheek and a soft kiss. “I will. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll come to you Dean, but -“
“Yeah yeah yeah, you have to come back. No rest for the wicked …”
Sammy threw his head back and laughed and Dean joined him. He wasn’t sure how the next day would end but he knew there would be far less occasion for laughter afterwards. No matter how the Battle turned, there would be loved ones lost. It tugged at his heart, pulling pieces out of place and re-shifting them so that the pieces all fit together badly. This was war though and there was only one way to win this fight. He only wished it had fallen on other hands.
The walk back to the Impala was silent and if the others thought of saying something, so close to battle no one was taking chances at angering Sammy by saying anything he might hear about to his brother. Dean was grateful for it no matter what the cause. He’d gotten used to the insults about being his ‘brother’s keeper’ or his ‘brother’s toy’ which was by far the favorite insult. He didn’t care what they thought. They hadn’t been through what he and Sammy had. They didn’t understand the cost of the love they shared. Dean did all too well.
Too sooth himself, he walked around the Impala, his hands caressing the black frame with a touch as gentle as any lover. He’d never had a lot in life, but his car had been his baby. It had seen him through his first lover, his first heartbreak, his first betrayal and his first abandonment. That almost all of those had been Sammy causes a small smile to cross his face.
“If that were anything but the car, I might get jealous.” Sammy said from behind him.
Dean turned to look and Sammy smiled as he walked closer. “Been a lot of miles put on her.” He said lightly, stroking her in a similar fashion as Dean did. Sammy had more of a love/hate relationship with the Impala, but there had been a lot of good times inside her doors and he seemed to be in a mood to remember that.
“Yep, but she never complains do you baby?”
“One of these days she’s going to answer you Dean and you’ll probably get an earful.”
“Only about how many times you’ve hurt her.”
Sammy laughed as he closed the short distance from him to Dean, keeping one hand on the car as the other found it’s way to Dean’s shoulder. “Think she’ll survive this one?” He asked.
Dean shook his head. “I don’t know Sammy. But if we’re all going to die in the battle ahead, she’s gonna go with me.”
Pain filled Sammy’s eyes and Dean looked away. “Dean, I told you. I’m going to protect you.”
Dean took a deep breath and looked up at his baby brother. “Yeah, I know you did. Come on. I need some sleep before I get too antsy and start looking for things to shoot.”
Sammy didn’t answer, but his hand took Dean’s and he led them back to their room. There was no one else around, everyone finding their own way to fortify them for what was to come. Sammy stripped him of this clothes and Dean sank into bed, watching Sammy undress slowly.
Small things came to him then about the way Sammy treated him now. In the beginning the kisses had been hesitant and shy until Dean would coax the passion from Sammy. Before all of this, Sammy had always coyly asked before he did anything. Now, Sammy simply took. He knew to the depths of his soul that Sammy would never hurt him, that he was Sammy’s through and through. The difference was that now Sammy knew it too.
As his brother slid slowly, skin to skin, up Dean’s body, his moans were taken by hard lips over his, hard muscled arms took his hands and held them. And when his lips were released, the eyes that stared down at him were hard as well. “I can’t do this without you Dean.”
Dean stole the rest of the words from Sammy as he bit into the flesh of his neck. His words turned to moans and his grip loosened. Dean’s hands began roaming the body that was as well known as his own, feeling the soft skin over too hard muscles. He touched scars old and new, remembering how he had failed Sammy each and every time. His touch became reverent, as if he could take back the hurt that had come from each, take back the hurt of watching him die, of the choices he had been faced with then. Taking back the hurt for what he would have to do next.
When Sammy buried himself inside him, dean closed his eyes and prayed for them both. Sammy had said he used to pray but Dean was sure he didn’t anymore. Dean could do it for them both now, he had to. He had to believe that for all they had done, there was absolution waiting somewhere; that no matter how fucked up their lives had become, everything they had done had been for love. Love of mother, love of father, love of brothers. The heavens knew the crime was in the intent, not the action itself, right?
When they came, there were no screaming names and no protestations of love. They needed neither to understand the depths between them. Words had never been their language. Theirs had always been hands and lips, fists and smiles, lips and body. As Sammy pulled him close, he breathed into the space between them. “Can’t live without you Dean. This was all for you, for us.”
And he knew it was true. So much of their fucked up lives he’d given everything he could for Sammy. In the end, he’d given his soul to the demon to bring Sammy back to life. He’d had no idea what that would do. He didn’t have it in him to regret what he’d done, but he hated the choices that lay before him now.
“I know Sammy. You couldn’t live without me, anymore than I could live without you. Never going to have to worry about that again though.”
Sammy nodded, his eyes closing softly as he relaxed into the bed, taking a moments respite from the coming storm. Dean closed his eyes as well, his heart pounding in his chest. It was now or never.
“Dean, what’s wrong?”
He felt Sammy stir slightly, knew that Sammy was feeling his growing anxiety. “Nothing. I - listen Sammy. I need to do something. I just want you to sit back and keep your eyes closed alright. Trust me Sammy.”
Sammy opened his eyes for a brief second, smiling at Dean. “Always Dean. I love you always.”
Tears filled his eyes and Dean didn’t try to hide it. He didn’t know how much Sammy knew about what he was going to do, but the trust in those eyes was implicit. Whatever Dean was doing, Sammy knew was for the best. It almost made him stop, but he couldn’t. Too much was at stake. “Love you too Sammy. Always you and me Sammy.”
He could barely see through the tears but he sat up, straddling his brother as he pulled his hand out from under his pillow. The knife slipped into flesh easily enough and it wasn’t until he pulled it free again and plunged it into his own heart that Sammy opened his eyes.
Neither cried out in pain. Only eyes open to one another as their hearts pumped the last of their life away. “always…” Sammy managed to whisper as he pulled Dean tighter to him.
“always.” Dean whispered back.
In a short time the Demon hordes would find their leader dead, killed by his incestuous lover in the bed they had shared for the last six months. Their arm would shatter and chaos would strike them as someone tried to take control. Only Sammy had killed all of those strong enough to contest his power in the beginning. There was no one to control them, no one to lead them in what would have been an easy victory. Instead, the hordes would be met by hunters at dawn and they would be decimated. Sammy saw it all with startling clarity and marveled at how his brother had been able to play this part for so long. Six months since Sammy had taken over the demon horde in return for his brother’s life. Six months and Dean had been Sammy’s rock, never once asking why they were fighting for the wrong side now, only helping Sammy become harder and stronger and faster until there were no demons left who could challenge him. He’d never stopped fighting for the other side, and he’d made sure that even if he hadn’t know it, Sammy never had either. He smiled at Dean even as pain pulled at his lips.
Dean lazily lifted one hand to Sammy’s face, one last final touch. “I said if it was the last thing I’d do, I’d save you Sammy.”
“And you did Dean.”
“Yeah. I did.”
Authoress:
hunters_retreat
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Summary: Dean swore he'd save Sam if it was the last thing he did. Dean was always a man of his word.
Word Count: 1954
Author's Note: This was the second fanfic I wrote and I wanted to see what someone else could do with it. I still love the piece, but as a more experienced writer I keep wondering what I would do differently. Soooo... I put this one out there for the kamikazeremix . I was blessed to have
britomart_is take up the challenge. She did an absolutely fabulous job with this story and I can't say enough about it. You have to go read it too :P You can find it here: Dulce et Decorum Est [the mustard gas remix]
Always
The enemy lines had been drawn the previous night and Dean Winchester stared across the fire, looking through it really, his thoughts lost on the world around him. He didn’t want to think tonight. Battle was coming tomorrow. The demon hordes were gathered and so were the hunters. There was no telling when the fighting would actually start, but Dean hated the wait, hated the anticipation that came with being at the eye of the storm. And there was no mistake about that.
The storm was Sammy and Dean had never seen anything as beautiful or as terrifying as his brother in control of this whole thing. It was his visions that gave the army their chance against the others. It was his leadership and skill that had brought them here. In a way, Dean was proud because it had been his training along with Dad’s that had seen Sammy rise so far so fast. There were other reasons for it as well though and Dean preferred not to think of them.
He shook his head and stood from the fire, startling the people around him. Sammy looked up from the makeshift table they were all pouring over and eyed his brother. “You alright Dean?” He asked. There was warmth there, so much concern and love that Dean hated to hear it. Hated to hear it where the others knew. Hated that while people feared Sammy, they didn’t have any trouble talking in front of Dean whenever Sammy was out of ear shot.
He nodded, giving Sammy one of his best smiled. Sam frowned and he just shook his head. “I’m fine Sammy. Stop worrying like a girl. I just hate the waiting.” He looked around at the others, feeling sick and unwelcome. “I’m going to catch a few before anything starts happening.”
“You sure you’re ok?”
Sammy knew something was bothering him. Hell, Sammy could probably find out for himself if he wanted to, but he’d promised Dean never to look in his mind after he’d learned to use his powers. It was a sign of trust and love and Dean was never more amazed by that than he was now. “Yeah.” He hesitated a moment, but said the words anyway, not caring about the snickering anymore. “You should come to bed too. Everyone knows what they’re supposed to do Sammy. Rest before it begins.”
Sammy was at his side a moment later, a firm hand on his cheek and a soft kiss. “I will. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll come to you Dean, but -“
“Yeah yeah yeah, you have to come back. No rest for the wicked …”
Sammy threw his head back and laughed and Dean joined him. He wasn’t sure how the next day would end but he knew there would be far less occasion for laughter afterwards. No matter how the Battle turned, there would be loved ones lost. It tugged at his heart, pulling pieces out of place and re-shifting them so that the pieces all fit together badly. This was war though and there was only one way to win this fight. He only wished it had fallen on other hands.
The walk back to the Impala was silent and if the others thought of saying something, so close to battle no one was taking chances at angering Sammy by saying anything he might hear about to his brother. Dean was grateful for it no matter what the cause. He’d gotten used to the insults about being his ‘brother’s keeper’ or his ‘brother’s toy’ which was by far the favorite insult. He didn’t care what they thought. They hadn’t been through what he and Sammy had. They didn’t understand the cost of the love they shared. Dean did all too well.
Too sooth himself, he walked around the Impala, his hands caressing the black frame with a touch as gentle as any lover. He’d never had a lot in life, but his car had been his baby. It had seen him through his first lover, his first heartbreak, his first betrayal and his first abandonment. That almost all of those had been Sammy causes a small smile to cross his face.
“If that were anything but the car, I might get jealous.” Sammy said from behind him.
Dean turned to look and Sammy smiled as he walked closer. “Been a lot of miles put on her.” He said lightly, stroking her in a similar fashion as Dean did. Sammy had more of a love/hate relationship with the Impala, but there had been a lot of good times inside her doors and he seemed to be in a mood to remember that.
“Yep, but she never complains do you baby?”
“One of these days she’s going to answer you Dean and you’ll probably get an earful.”
“Only about how many times you’ve hurt her.”
Sammy laughed as he closed the short distance from him to Dean, keeping one hand on the car as the other found it’s way to Dean’s shoulder. “Think she’ll survive this one?” He asked.
Dean shook his head. “I don’t know Sammy. But if we’re all going to die in the battle ahead, she’s gonna go with me.”
Pain filled Sammy’s eyes and Dean looked away. “Dean, I told you. I’m going to protect you.”
Dean took a deep breath and looked up at his baby brother. “Yeah, I know you did. Come on. I need some sleep before I get too antsy and start looking for things to shoot.”
Sammy didn’t answer, but his hand took Dean’s and he led them back to their room. There was no one else around, everyone finding their own way to fortify them for what was to come. Sammy stripped him of this clothes and Dean sank into bed, watching Sammy undress slowly.
Small things came to him then about the way Sammy treated him now. In the beginning the kisses had been hesitant and shy until Dean would coax the passion from Sammy. Before all of this, Sammy had always coyly asked before he did anything. Now, Sammy simply took. He knew to the depths of his soul that Sammy would never hurt him, that he was Sammy’s through and through. The difference was that now Sammy knew it too.
As his brother slid slowly, skin to skin, up Dean’s body, his moans were taken by hard lips over his, hard muscled arms took his hands and held them. And when his lips were released, the eyes that stared down at him were hard as well. “I can’t do this without you Dean.”
Dean stole the rest of the words from Sammy as he bit into the flesh of his neck. His words turned to moans and his grip loosened. Dean’s hands began roaming the body that was as well known as his own, feeling the soft skin over too hard muscles. He touched scars old and new, remembering how he had failed Sammy each and every time. His touch became reverent, as if he could take back the hurt that had come from each, take back the hurt of watching him die, of the choices he had been faced with then. Taking back the hurt for what he would have to do next.
When Sammy buried himself inside him, dean closed his eyes and prayed for them both. Sammy had said he used to pray but Dean was sure he didn’t anymore. Dean could do it for them both now, he had to. He had to believe that for all they had done, there was absolution waiting somewhere; that no matter how fucked up their lives had become, everything they had done had been for love. Love of mother, love of father, love of brothers. The heavens knew the crime was in the intent, not the action itself, right?
When they came, there were no screaming names and no protestations of love. They needed neither to understand the depths between them. Words had never been their language. Theirs had always been hands and lips, fists and smiles, lips and body. As Sammy pulled him close, he breathed into the space between them. “Can’t live without you Dean. This was all for you, for us.”
And he knew it was true. So much of their fucked up lives he’d given everything he could for Sammy. In the end, he’d given his soul to the demon to bring Sammy back to life. He’d had no idea what that would do. He didn’t have it in him to regret what he’d done, but he hated the choices that lay before him now.
“I know Sammy. You couldn’t live without me, anymore than I could live without you. Never going to have to worry about that again though.”
Sammy nodded, his eyes closing softly as he relaxed into the bed, taking a moments respite from the coming storm. Dean closed his eyes as well, his heart pounding in his chest. It was now or never.
“Dean, what’s wrong?”
He felt Sammy stir slightly, knew that Sammy was feeling his growing anxiety. “Nothing. I - listen Sammy. I need to do something. I just want you to sit back and keep your eyes closed alright. Trust me Sammy.”
Sammy opened his eyes for a brief second, smiling at Dean. “Always Dean. I love you always.”
Tears filled his eyes and Dean didn’t try to hide it. He didn’t know how much Sammy knew about what he was going to do, but the trust in those eyes was implicit. Whatever Dean was doing, Sammy knew was for the best. It almost made him stop, but he couldn’t. Too much was at stake. “Love you too Sammy. Always you and me Sammy.”
He could barely see through the tears but he sat up, straddling his brother as he pulled his hand out from under his pillow. The knife slipped into flesh easily enough and it wasn’t until he pulled it free again and plunged it into his own heart that Sammy opened his eyes.
Neither cried out in pain. Only eyes open to one another as their hearts pumped the last of their life away. “always…” Sammy managed to whisper as he pulled Dean tighter to him.
“always.” Dean whispered back.
In a short time the Demon hordes would find their leader dead, killed by his incestuous lover in the bed they had shared for the last six months. Their arm would shatter and chaos would strike them as someone tried to take control. Only Sammy had killed all of those strong enough to contest his power in the beginning. There was no one to control them, no one to lead them in what would have been an easy victory. Instead, the hordes would be met by hunters at dawn and they would be decimated. Sammy saw it all with startling clarity and marveled at how his brother had been able to play this part for so long. Six months since Sammy had taken over the demon horde in return for his brother’s life. Six months and Dean had been Sammy’s rock, never once asking why they were fighting for the wrong side now, only helping Sammy become harder and stronger and faster until there were no demons left who could challenge him. He’d never stopped fighting for the other side, and he’d made sure that even if he hadn’t know it, Sammy never had either. He smiled at Dean even as pain pulled at his lips.
Dean lazily lifted one hand to Sammy’s face, one last final touch. “I said if it was the last thing I’d do, I’d save you Sammy.”
“And you did Dean.”
“Yeah. I did.”