(no subject)
Dear someone forgive me for I have sinned.
If I was killed tomarrow I would die a 35-year-old in a 16-year-old's body. No one can say that statement is not true.
I am truly sick of being the way I am. I am easily hurt and annoyed and I'm depressed and not active. I am not outgoing and not spontaneous and I am not me anymore. I am some girl who GREW UP. WAY TOO FAST.
Because I hate the habbits I have come to know oh-so routinely I am vowing today at this moment in time that I am going to cold turkey quit the way I am.
Most people start new years resolutions on Jan. 1st but I am starting late.August 23rd starts off a new school year and during this school year I am going to bring out the best of me.
I am going to kick old habbits like I'm going to kick off this unwanted fat on my bones. I am going to pick myself clean and try to realize what I am in this world- and how I want to be.
I'm not going to make stupid comments about people anymore because they are who they are and I'm not going to change them. I'm not going to go around failing school because I'm lazy. Yeah- I get B's on my report card and I KNOW I could do better. So I am going to.
Firstly- I'm joining two clubs this year: 1) Thornley Court and 2) Book Club. I think Chelsea and Ashley Sword are joining with me so this will also be a good oportunity to see them more.
Second- I am going to start feeling better about the choices I make. Doing better in school will make me feel better about myself and I know it.
Third- I am going to start writing and painting. I know I could be a better writer and I always liked to draw and paint. Putting myself back into the habbits I enjoy will help me come back to being my old happy self.
Fourth- I will stop being so angry at people who want my boyfriend as their own. ( This will be my hardest accomplishment.) I need to keep things to myself. Anthony is an attractive boy with a great personality and body so yes, of course people want to date him. I need to stay confident that Anthony will make his choices based on what he would like. May the better girl win is all I can say. That is that.
Fifth- I need to work on making my room to the likes of me. I am sick of feeling like I live in a 100-year-old persons bedroom. This may also count for some unwanted maturity.
Sixth- I need to save some beepin' money! ( enough said! )
Seventh- More hanging out with my friends. And more going to after school things. ( Basically I'm going to have a life.)
I need to stop growing up so much. well growing up so much in the WRONG ways.(ex. growing up stressed, bored, and on the computer all day long.)
I promise to myself to gain back these lost years in a good way.
I love you Anthony Giebelhaus and thats never going to change no matter what.