There is potential, but you really must get your work Beta'd: although the layout has been corrected, and those great blocks of type broken up, the grammar and punctuation are dreadful, and the lack of capital letters and commas is unbelievable. When it's this bad, I'm afraid it distracts the reader so much it ruins any enjoyment of the story.
Could have potential but we'll never know.bosuntopgallantMay 30 2006, 02:37:57 UTC
This could be a good story but we'll never know because it's too difficult to read. The huge number of grammatical and spelling errors make it almost impossible to muddle through. Please get a beta to help you with this story and any future writing attempts.
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