(Untitled)

[huxedley]

feeling inferior to others is such a waste of time. thinking i'm not good enough for this or that..... who cares? who decides? you decided that. you wanted to believe in that. you think you have good reasons to believe in that. honestly, who cares? who knows for sure? you don't know for sure. so stop wasting time

Comments

The perception of criticism

[anonymous]

You have to give others the benefit of the doubt sometimes.

It's easy to have a tendency to assume the worst when people give something that is a remote hint of criticism towards you. But how often are those hints really founded in criticism? Half the time? Less than half the time?

I think you can derive the most benefit in your life if you refuse to follow that fearful line of thought unless it's very clear that you deserve criticism. Your mind can take you to some strange places otherwise.

ciao,
Johan

Re: The perception of criticism

[huxedley]

don't get me wrong. i believe criticism is good and i have nothing against my boss for saying what he said, whether he meant it or not, whether he was criticizing me or not.

saying that, if something causes me to feel hurt in some way, i think i should pay attention to it and think about the reasons why i emotionally react in that manner, and then find a way to resolve it to make peace with myself.

i understand what you mean by not benefitting from following that fearful line of thought because that fearful line of thought can lead to deeper depths of negativity which isn't very useful. i do think there is also benefit from trying to understand how and why one is pulled slightly into that fearful line of thought, because it teaches you something about yourself, which you might not have become aware of before. i think if you try to understand, then it is beneficial and if you try to find a solution after that, then that is a further benefit.

in my case, i believe i have attempted to do both.

plus, i'm not scared of strange places

Re: The perception of criticism

[anonymous]

Sorry Kamila. I didn't mean to imply you'd have something against your boss or that you'd be afraid of strange places :-)

I meant to be skeptical of your own judgment, cautious with believing your fear-impulse in situations like these. "Benefit of the doubt" was a bad expression to use.
What's the value of negativity? What impression of reality to we seek? Maximum degree of "truth" - or an impression that leads to the best results in some sense? It seems to me that we can never know what leads to the maximum degree of truth with these things (interpersonal relations), so I tend to take an optimistic approach.

Of course, introspection, and learning about this fearful thought, where it comes from, might be the most valuable thing to do. I agree.