Part 1, Chapter 7
Chapter 7
Carthage, Missouri
Judas woke with glass in his hair and nails in his legs, bound tight enough that, even if it hadn't hurt like hell, he probably wouldn't have been able to move. The room was dark, and smelled faintly of ozone laid over damp, rotting wood. What little he could see seemed to be in a state of general disrepair and decay, abandoned. For a few moments, he thought--though he knew it wouldn't last--that he'd been left alone.
Until he saw Lucifer himself, leaning casually against the opposite wall, watching him.
He would have pulled away if he could. He tried, he tried as hard as he could, fighting the pain and the leather straps and not daring to look away from the rotting vessel with its broken halo.
Lucifer smiled, and it was gentle, and it sent fingers of ice down Judas' spine.
"I don't want to hurt you," the fallen Archangel said.
Judas didn't move, or answer.
Lucifer pushed himself away from the wall and approached. "I just want to understand," he said. "Why are you fighting for them?"
Once again, he kept his silence. Maybe I'm fast enough. If I can wriggle free, if I can get enough range of motion...his vessel is dying already. If he can feel anything, he's already hurting, what I do...it wouldn't hurt him that much more, would it?
"After everything they did to you. You did everything you were supposed to, and still..." Lucifer shook his head. "You became the monster. I don't understand how you can bear it."
Judas looked away, swallowing down anger he thought he'd buried a long time ago, focusing on tracing the path of one of the cracks in the ceiling instead.
"My heart breaks for you," he continued. "Truly, it does. Everything you've endured...it should never have been like that."
Don't engage. Don't let him in. The moment you engage, the moment you let him in, he will own you. Change the conversation, make it about--make it anything but this.
"Please don't," Judas whispered. He took a deep breath, and looked directly at Lucifer again. "Save us both some time."
Lucifer arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"
Here goes nothing. "I know what you're trying to do," he said. "And it...it isn't working. I won't give you what you want." Judas had learned, over the centuries, how to deceive people without outright lying. The trick of it was relying on the absolute truth of an instant in time, because truth was far more fluid than those not bound to it ever really grasped. And, in this moment, what he said was the truth.
But if Lucifer didn't believe it, it would soon become a lie.
The Archangel just smiled slightly. "And what is it that you think I want?"
"Me," Judas said. "If not my service, then my silence."
He inclined his head, acknowledging the point. "Why won't you give me that, Judas?"
"Which?"
"Either."
"I never intended to get involved," Judas admitted.
"But you are now."
He nodded. "For better or for worse."
"But you won't fight for me."
"You say you understand my pain," Judas said. "And I believe you. No one...no one else could. But I let go of my bitterness a long time ago, sir."
And he had. Mostly. After all, humanity hadn't given him any punishment he wouldn't have subjected himself to a thousand times over, if he'd been able to. Even if he hated the way his name had become the worst kind of insult. And Heaven may have been corrupt beyond all reason, and God may have been capricious and cruel, His every gift demanding a terrible price in return...all right, yes, Judas had done his best to let go of his bitterness, but it was never really far away.
And yet, despite all of that hurt, there was too much good left, too much kindness, on Earth and even in Heaven, to cast it all aside. Especially not when it meant risking--don't go down that road, if you do, he'll follow and start asking questions.
"I won't declare war on Heaven. Not for you."
"I can give you justice," Lucifer pointed out.
Judas gave a sickly little laugh. "I don't deserve it."
"I say that you do."
"Even if you're right," he said, "I don't want it."
Lucifer blinked. "What do you want, then?"
"Nothing you can give me."
He folded his arms and arched an eyebrow. "Try me."
"I want...peace." He closed his eyes, and took a deep, shaky breath. "And I want Yeshua."
Lucifer sighed. "It doesn't have to be like this, Judas. You could make it so much easier on yourself."
He managed a little smile. "Nothing worth having ever comes easy."
Lucifer inclined his head, and reached out, his hand only a breath away from Judas' face.
Just a little closer, and I could--
A shock of frigid air hit his face, cold enough to sear his flesh. He jerked, gasping, unable to even scream.
It only lasted a second, and when it was over, his face felt...off-balance. Wrong.
Lucifer turned to the door. "Meg?" he called.
The dark-haired demon host, the one who had commanded the hellhounds in the street, joined them. "Yes, Father?"
"You and the others can play with him now," he said, smiling that same, gentle half-smile he'd used on Judas. "Let me know when he's ready to change his mind."
It had worked. He'd bought it.
Now I just have to endure this.
Lucifer was gone, leaving Judas alone the demon, who closed her fist. Something twisted, deep inside him, and he screamed.
I just have to hold on...
End Part 1
Previous: Part 1, Chapter 6 Next: Part 2, Chapter 1
Carthage, Missouri
Judas woke with glass in his hair and nails in his legs, bound tight enough that, even if it hadn't hurt like hell, he probably wouldn't have been able to move. The room was dark, and smelled faintly of ozone laid over damp, rotting wood. What little he could see seemed to be in a state of general disrepair and decay, abandoned. For a few moments, he thought--though he knew it wouldn't last--that he'd been left alone.
Until he saw Lucifer himself, leaning casually against the opposite wall, watching him.
He would have pulled away if he could. He tried, he tried as hard as he could, fighting the pain and the leather straps and not daring to look away from the rotting vessel with its broken halo.
Lucifer smiled, and it was gentle, and it sent fingers of ice down Judas' spine.
"I don't want to hurt you," the fallen Archangel said.
Judas didn't move, or answer.
Lucifer pushed himself away from the wall and approached. "I just want to understand," he said. "Why are you fighting for them?"
Once again, he kept his silence. Maybe I'm fast enough. If I can wriggle free, if I can get enough range of motion...his vessel is dying already. If he can feel anything, he's already hurting, what I do...it wouldn't hurt him that much more, would it?
"After everything they did to you. You did everything you were supposed to, and still..." Lucifer shook his head. "You became the monster. I don't understand how you can bear it."
Judas looked away, swallowing down anger he thought he'd buried a long time ago, focusing on tracing the path of one of the cracks in the ceiling instead.
"My heart breaks for you," he continued. "Truly, it does. Everything you've endured...it should never have been like that."
Don't engage. Don't let him in. The moment you engage, the moment you let him in, he will own you. Change the conversation, make it about--make it anything but this.
"Please don't," Judas whispered. He took a deep breath, and looked directly at Lucifer again. "Save us both some time."
Lucifer arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"
Here goes nothing. "I know what you're trying to do," he said. "And it...it isn't working. I won't give you what you want." Judas had learned, over the centuries, how to deceive people without outright lying. The trick of it was relying on the absolute truth of an instant in time, because truth was far more fluid than those not bound to it ever really grasped. And, in this moment, what he said was the truth.
But if Lucifer didn't believe it, it would soon become a lie.
The Archangel just smiled slightly. "And what is it that you think I want?"
"Me," Judas said. "If not my service, then my silence."
He inclined his head, acknowledging the point. "Why won't you give me that, Judas?"
"Which?"
"Either."
"I never intended to get involved," Judas admitted.
"But you are now."
He nodded. "For better or for worse."
"But you won't fight for me."
"You say you understand my pain," Judas said. "And I believe you. No one...no one else could. But I let go of my bitterness a long time ago, sir."
And he had. Mostly. After all, humanity hadn't given him any punishment he wouldn't have subjected himself to a thousand times over, if he'd been able to. Even if he hated the way his name had become the worst kind of insult. And Heaven may have been corrupt beyond all reason, and God may have been capricious and cruel, His every gift demanding a terrible price in return...all right, yes, Judas had done his best to let go of his bitterness, but it was never really far away.
And yet, despite all of that hurt, there was too much good left, too much kindness, on Earth and even in Heaven, to cast it all aside. Especially not when it meant risking--don't go down that road, if you do, he'll follow and start asking questions.
"I won't declare war on Heaven. Not for you."
"I can give you justice," Lucifer pointed out.
Judas gave a sickly little laugh. "I don't deserve it."
"I say that you do."
"Even if you're right," he said, "I don't want it."
Lucifer blinked. "What do you want, then?"
"Nothing you can give me."
He folded his arms and arched an eyebrow. "Try me."
"I want...peace." He closed his eyes, and took a deep, shaky breath. "And I want Yeshua."
Lucifer sighed. "It doesn't have to be like this, Judas. You could make it so much easier on yourself."
He managed a little smile. "Nothing worth having ever comes easy."
Lucifer inclined his head, and reached out, his hand only a breath away from Judas' face.
Just a little closer, and I could--
A shock of frigid air hit his face, cold enough to sear his flesh. He jerked, gasping, unable to even scream.
It only lasted a second, and when it was over, his face felt...off-balance. Wrong.
Lucifer turned to the door. "Meg?" he called.
The dark-haired demon host, the one who had commanded the hellhounds in the street, joined them. "Yes, Father?"
"You and the others can play with him now," he said, smiling that same, gentle half-smile he'd used on Judas. "Let me know when he's ready to change his mind."
It had worked. He'd bought it.
Now I just have to endure this.
Lucifer was gone, leaving Judas alone the demon, who closed her fist. Something twisted, deep inside him, and he screamed.
I just have to hold on...
End Part 1
Previous: Part 1, Chapter 6 Next: Part 2, Chapter 1