❝ these things we buy are not for free (gen) ❞
These things we buy are not for free
Gen; 3,712 words; Boy bands didn't last long, Myungsoo knew that, but the band name 'Infinite' was extremely misleading even for someone who didn't believe in eternity.; for kpop_olymfics (originally posted here). Thank you, Team Future, for the wonderful experience!
The economic life of gadgets and machines normally lasted for three years. Stretching possibilities, it could even last for five years, but anything past that will leave machines running oh-so-slowly. It was just fitting, though - it wasn't right to fully exhaust something beyond its capabilities. And perhaps, Myungsoo thought as he signed the contract, hands cold and almost shaking, the same applied to performing groups.
Everybody saw it coming - Sunggyu and Dongwoo would have to undergo military training, and the rest of the members would have to make up for the 'loss' of two very important people in their group. Myungsoo had already prepared himself for this a long, long time ago, but he surely wasn't prepared to hear news about Infinite being a 'project group'.
"As the older members leave, new members are introduced into the group. It's ingenious!" one of the producers said, clapping his hands. Myungsoo frowned a little as the producer continued. "There's always an 'original' member present. We don't have to worry about promotions. And the fans will always have something to look forward to! See, it's ingenious!"
There was a pause before the producer gave off a hearty laugh. Myungsoo took a deep breath.
"Infinite will live forever!"
"They said I'm eventually going solo."
Hoya laughed lightly. "Big surprise there," he said in between munching on his cookie and chuckling. He shifted in his position so that he was facing Myungsoo, and from this angle Myungsoo could better see a hint of sarcasm in his features (and, looking back, the sarcasm in Hoya's voice). "I mean, come on, we all know you're really talented. Why would we even be surprised if they gave you a solo project?"
"But I'm not the only one," Myungsoo replied flatly. He took a deep breath before continuing, "And you're not yet in the military."
"Relax!" Woohyun gave Myungsoo a pat on the back, gently massaging his shoulders. Myungsoo tensed up a little instead of letting a wave of relief wash over him. "If anything, it'll only be for a couple of months. We'll still be around. And come on, it's not as if we don't sleep in the same room!"
"Right." Myungsoo nodded slowly, then let out a small sigh. "Yeah, you're right."
It was true. Drama tapings weren't forever, and in no time he'd be promoting with what was left of Infinite. Besides, he should be looking forward to building his career as well as group's, and having solo projects was definitely a way to further make people know about their group. At the risk of getting more antis for being called 'overrated', of course.
"So," Woohyun cut in, a rather bright smile on his lips. "Who wants ramyeon for dinner?"
Myungsoo punched Woohyun lightly on the arm because he knew Woohyun was capable of cooking better food but was probably too lazy to even think of something new. What ensued a few moments after was Woohyun having a dialogue with four men laughing at his silly little address, and Sungyeol reaching for the phone to order pizza.
"They are Sungsoo and Donghee, your new bandmates. Treat them kindly, okay? And Woohyun, no overfeeding."
Standing in front of them were people they once knew as trainees. Myungsoo chuckled; the two were obviously nervous about facing them. "Um, hi," they said simultaneously, and Myungsoo couldn't help but smile a bit too wide for his own liking.
A faint giggle came from behind Myungsoo and he was sure it was Woohyun. "They're adorable. I like them already." Woohyun then turned to face the other members. "I like them!"
"As if your opinion matters," Myungsoo quipped. He smirked at the end of his statement and watched as the amusement in Woohyun's featured turned into that of distress. A few seconds after, Woohyun was slapping him on the arm and ruffling his hair, and telling the new members not to imitate this rude kid. A few more seconds after that, they were all laughing and Sungsoo and Donghee were loosening up. Just a little.
"Sungsoo and Donghee." Myungsoo mumbled under his breath. It was going to take some getting used to, but with practice it will eventually stick and gain more recall. He watched as the rest of the members took turns in asking the two questions and thought to himself, it might not take too long at all.
The funny thing with change was that while people were normally averse to the whole idea of it, they were quick to adapt to it, too.
The members coming and going were almost a normal event already. Hoya and Sungyeol were packing their things, some few unnecessary items (with very high sentimental value, Sungyeol added) stuffed in the front pocket of their luggage. Woohyun was lounging on the couch, taking in pride in finishing packing way ahead of the other two. And Myungsoo and Sungjong - they were too busy with running their lines for their respective dramas in their heads.
"Do you want to take us to the site tomorrow?" Sungyeol asked. There was a tentative pause before he continued, "We won't be seeing each other for a while, after all."
Sungsoo and Donghee were quick to look at Myungsoo since he was in charge now, and the latter only shrugged and smiled a little. "We'll see," Myungsoo said after a while, an afterthought. Sungyeol grinned.
"Let's go to bed early. We should be there by seven. Come on."
Myungsoo did not shed a tear at all.
He was sure he got teary-eyed, at the very least, when Sunggyu and Dongwoo left, which was why his lack of reaction to this departure was something totally beyond him. He wasn't sure if he was just not close enough to the other three, but then Sungyeol was definitely one of his closer friends in the group, Hoya was definitely his greatest rival when it came to video games, and he and Woohyun had shared quite a number of intimate moments.
With Sungyeol- "Hey, is something bothering you? Because you can always tell me. I mean, we're cool, right?"
And Hoya- "Fuck you, you beat me again!"
Then with Woohyun- "You look like you could use a hug. Or a kiss. Whatever."
"I feel so jaded already," he mumbled to Sungjong on their way home from the airport. "Like I don't care much about the group or anyone anymore. Is that bad?" He looked at Sungjong straight in the eye in the hope of finding the perfect answer, but all that greeted him was a sad smile.
"Maybe. Maybe not."
He knew he was closest to Sungjong for a reason, and this was because they were so comfortable with uncertainties to even bother setting things straight. So Myungsoo took a deep breath, rested his head on Sungjong's shoulder and closed his eyes for the rest of the trip.
He knew they were going somewhere - the practice room, the company, maybe home - but he didn't know exactly where it was. But at least there was progress.
("Hyung," Sungsoo began, then worried his lip a bit. "You're zoning out again."
It was the third time in a day that he received the same comment from Sungsoo who had come to be one of his favorite dongsaeng. Sungsoo was kind and gentle, but he was firm and frank when the situation called for it. Sungsoo knew how to get him in the right places all the time, too, much unlike Sunggyu who was a bit afraid of being too touchy.
"This can't keep up, you know," Sungsoo said, a frown now visibly forming on his lips. "Sungjong hyung can't cover for you all the time."
"It was his choice. I never him told him to. But-" Myungsoo took a deep breath and worried his bottom lip a little. "We'll see what happens.")
It wasn't too long until he received the invitation to join the Military.
It was much like a talent call slip, Myungsoo thought, only more serious and professional-sounding. The undertone of the speech reminded him too much of the management, and the time and place for the assembly written in big, bold letters was a lot different from the usual hand-written details on the call slip.
"So, big news." Sungjong waved his very own invitation.
Myungsoo smiled a little. "I guess we're going together."
Sungjong nodded. "I guess we are."
"Oh hey. Hey. No crying!"
Jungyeol and Wonbin were crying, and Minwoo tried his best to calm the two down. Sungsoo and Donghee, meanwhile, were busy distracting the fans from seeing the waterworks. The newest members, Junsu and Jungmin, were looking at Myungsoo and Sungjong with such adoring eyes, and Myungsoo thought that for a moment, he saw a tinge of sadness in them.
It can't be, he told himself. They barely knew each other. Why would they be sad for their pulling out from the group? If anything, they should be happy since they finally have the chance to make it big. They were performing under such a big name; they should be happy, not sad.
"Hyung, I-" Junsu gulped down hard. "Will you come back, ever?"
Myungsoo stood in amazement at the irony of it all. Here he was, thinking weirdly of Junsu, and Junsu's intentions were nothing but pure, his questions delivered out of sheer curiosity. "After a while. Two years, 'couple of months. Why?" Myungsoo said after a while. He held his breath and judgement in anticipation; this better be good.
"I don't know. It's just weird, not having you around." Junsu scratched the back of his neck. "I mean, Infinite isn't Infinite without you or Sungjong hyung."
"Or the others."
"Yes, or the others."
"Relax, it'll be fine." Myungsoo put an arm around Junsu to pull him close, then squeezed his arm lightly. "It's not as if all we have in common is Infinite. We'll see each other again, definitely."
"Promise?" Junsu stuck out his pinky.
Myungsoo shook his head. "Fine, fine. I promise."
"Myungsoo, time to go." Sungjong was done rounding up the other boys and giving them his last speech of encouragement. His bags were pooled on his feet, and behind him Donghee was biting his lips a bit too hard. "Come on, we can't be late."
Myungsoo slowly padded to where they were, each step resounding something akin to a pulse throughout his body. Junsu was just behind him, and he was sure that if he suddenly stopped in his tracks, Junsu would, too, and they'd end up in a heap of limbs and skin. That was permissible if they were in their dorm, but not here where there were people all around them, all lined up and geared to service the country. So Myungsoo walked until he was close enough to the rest of the members, and picked up his bag.
"Okay. Let's do this."
At exactly 7:00 a.m., they left Infinite.
The tiny members, as he and Sungjong had so lovingly put, sent them letters every so often. Sunggyu, Woohyun and Dongwoo visited them occasionally. "Sungyeol's busy with his drama," Myungsoo remembered Sunggyu saying one time, and it took five minutes of laughter and thorough explanation to convince Myungsoo that it was true.
"Sungyeol, in a drama? You can't be serious! I mean, the news-"
"Is not something you can always rely on." Dongwoo quipped. "Insider scoops are the best," he added, and ended with a wink.
"How about Hoya hyung?"
"Flawless as ever. He's part of a reality dance program now." Woohyun was smiling throughout the entire narration of how Hoya ended up as a mainstay of the program. Sunggyu pitched a few stories here and there, and Dongwoo was there to fill in the gaps and make sure that all stories were accurate.
"And then that time, remember that, when we had to pole dance to that song-"
"-Can we not!"
It was a chaos, this tiny reunion of theirs, but it was the happiest they had been in years.
Myungsoo had his own bouts of sadness during 'The Great Separation', as Sungjong had fondly put it. It wasn't as if he couldn't do with the other members - he certainly could, but life seemed a little less serious and a bit more engaging with them around. Playtimes were made more available and exciting, pep talks were made more dramatic and heartfelt. These little things made him wish they just entered the service at the same time, but at the same time he was pretty grateful for the time spent apart. It made him realize a lot of things.
He shook his head. No, he wasn't supposed to be going through this again.
"Trying not to cry?" Sungjong came from behind, a small smile on his lips. It was probably best that they entered the military service at the same time. Myungsoo had someone to share his thoughts with, and people who were close enough to him knew for a fact that he thought about things the most when he was sad and tired.
Myungsoo chuckled. "Close enough." He'd never been the type who'd lie. "But I'm getting better at this."
Sungjong didn't prod, and Myungsoo was thankful for this. There was the pat on the back, the light squeeze of the arm that said, I'm always here if you want to talk. With a sharp intake of breath, he looked over his shoulder and parted his lips to speak.
"Can we talk?"
Myungsoo had learned to be more vocal with his thoughts during his stay in the military. Team work was essential in passing the courses, and speaking up was definitely needed to make it possible. It was also during his stay that he learned how to curse, and it came in handy during tough situations. 'Shit' and 'fuck' were his personal favorites, and on the off chance that he felt extremely pissed and generally shitty (he'd grown to be fond of the description, too) he used 'bullshit', too.
"What the actual fuck?" Myungsoo scrunched his nose. "The entire storyline of the mission? Is this even allowed?"
"Anything that will make us win is allowed!"
He furrowed his eyebrows. They weren't taught to cheat, even in test battles. "That's cheating!"
"Do you want to win or not?"
"Hell, yeah, I do! But I want to win with pride!" His voice was considerably a few notches higher, and his fists were balled. He was shaking all over; never had he felt something so intense, so strong that he was so compelled to burst out into whatever he deemed fit. "I don't want to win because I have a fucking cheatsheet, because I already know what I should do to survive-to win the battle. And besides, we don't get cheat sheets in real battles! You think this happens in real life? Because really, really, if we get cheat sheets in real life, then we might as well cheat death!"
"Myungsoo, you're shaking-"
"I don't care. All I care about is winning this battle fair and square."
"He's right," the general said, bringing the argument to a halt. "He's right. You should do things fair and square. Honor above excellence, boys, otherwise you have no right to serve the country. Now take your positions and get ready for battle!"
There weren't any words spoken, but somehow the nod, the pat on the back, the almost apologetic smile on his teammates' lips were enough an indicator that they understood everything that he had just said. He took a deep breath and checked if he had all the ammunition he needed; real or not, he had to make sure he was ready for this fight.
The entire battle sequence was changed altogether, but they still won. And with honor.
(The team threw a party afterwards, for their win and for Myungsoo's winning moment - shooting the enemy in the nose and laughing two minutes straight shortly after.)
It wasn't too long before they finished the entire program. Myungsoo 'graduated' with distinction, and all modesty aside it didn't come to him as a surprise. He worked hard to get where he was, and he enjoyed it, all the flying and fighting and the general feel of action and suspense. Sungjong, meanwhile, got top honors for his rank, and Myungsoo swore it was funny seeing Sungjong in his nearly oversized attire.
"I lost a lot of weight. Mom's going to kill me for this," Sungjong said, chuckling. "I gained a lot of muscles, though. Does that make me manlier?"
Myungsoo tried hard not to burst into laughter. "Hardly. Your face is still too girly."
"Oh, fuck you!" Sungjong hit Myungsoo on the arm hard enough to send the other balancing himself in stuttered steps. In a heap of laughter and giggles, Myungsoo could barely reply with, "Whoa, whoa, did you learn that in military?"
It wasn't too long before they had to shuffle themselves back into their 'normal' lives, and it didn't take long before they received a letter from Woolim Entertainment, too.
"What is this?"
Myungsoo wasn't going to lie that he might have seen this coming, but he swore to God it was just wishful thinking - there in the room he was supposed to be in were Sunggyu, Dongwoo, Woohyun, Sungyeol, Hoya and Sungjong, and he knew it only meant one thing.
"We're forming a new group for all of you," the producer said from behind him. Hoya was visibly trying to suppress the grin creeping to his lips. "Yes, all of you."
"Aren't we too old for this, though?" Sunggyu asked. Dongwoo shot him a look that surely said, 'Uh no, hyung, that's just you.', and Woohyun had this look that almost wanted to applaud Dongwoo for a well-expressed retort. From the corner of the room, Myungsoo just blinked and gaped at the whole situation.
"Well," the producer began, paused for a brief moment, then continued, "No one's too old to be happy, right?"
There was a sharp intake of breath from Myungsoo.
The producer was right.
"We won't have trouble with living arrangements since we already prepared a house for you." The producer was now rummaging through a pile of papers. "And I trust we won't have any problems with receding talent? I mean, you have been doing solo stuff for a while." There was collective laughter, and the produced smiled in approval. "There's... just one thing, though."
It was frustrating, Myungsoo thought, how the producer had to take a dramatic pause and scan the room oh-so-scrutinizingly, but he said nothing, nonetheless. It was funny, though, that all of them seemed to be waiting for at least one of them to ask what that one thing was, and how all of them seemed to be feeling blindly for each other for the first time in so long.
"We still don't have a name for you."
"Oh, that's easy," Myungsoo quipped. Everyone easily looked surprised at his sudden reaction, and he took it as a force to further his desire to speak up. "Eternal. It has the same meaning as Infinite, plus it has seven letters. Y'know, we're seven, seven letters." Myungsoo gesticulated something he could have otherwise better expressed in words. "Yeah."
"Cheesy." Woohyun sneered. Slowly but surely, he smiled a little. "But that makes perfect sense."
"Surprisingly, it does," Sungyeol soon said, voice drifting off as he slowly nodded in seemingly reluctant approval.
"Well, then, Eternal it is!"
Sunggyu put an arm around Myungsoo and pulled him close, ruffling his hair in the process. A lot of things had changed, Sunggyu's lack of apprehension for a display of affection being one of them, but, somehow, this - them laughing at Myungsoo's cheesiness, the producer shaking his head while writing down their new group name, just generally fooling around - felt way too familiar for his own liking, and hit home way too hard. By the time they had gathered around for a group hug, Myungsoo was already smiling what Woohyun used to call his 'weird smile', and at this point everyone just let out a mocking yet affectionate 'aww' in reply.
"Who even thinks of using Eternal as a group name?" Hoya asked, laughing. It was a really good question and Hoya had a very good point, Myungsoo thought. But then who even said they couldn't use a name so cheesy?
Myungsoo raised his hand, taking the blame for their spankin', brand new name.
Besides, it had a nice ring to it. And that was definitely something no one could ever deny.
("I still think Eternal is a cheesy name."
Myungsoo nudged Woohyun hard in his side, a celebratory smirk on his lips when the latter let out a gasp. He had finished much earlier than Woohyun, and he was just making sure everything was in its right place. Sunggyu and Dongwoo were in the kitchen, and Sungyeol and Hoya had been sent to the nearest convenience store to get whatever ingredients Woohyun had instructed them to get. Sungjong was probably in the bathroom, but if anything Myungsoo knew he was hiding somewhere to give the cake shop a call.
"I think we should come up with more names, though. I mean, Eternal won't stick in people's mind's forever." Woohyun plopped on his bed. "Three, four years, give or take. We're already old."
"Hold on, lemme get my dictionary-"
Myungsoo was already poised to get up from his position when Woohyun grabbed him by the wrist, causing him to stumble into his bed. "No, no more naming of groups for you! Geez..." Woohyun shook his head, then slowly got up from where he was, then looked over his shoulder. "But really, if you're planning to come up with a name, it better be good."
"You're letting me take a stab at this again?" Myungsoo was chuckling now, and Woohyun had the faintest smile on his lips. Myungsoo believed in second chances and that Woohyun was a lame, lame complainant, so he waited until Woohyun took a deep breath and turned around to face him.
"I guess I am."
When Myungsoo was sure Woohyun had already left the room, he fished a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it. '18 Permutations Versions Names Infinite Can Have', it read. Myungsoo giggled - Option number one: Eternal.
Everything else was crossed out.)