LJIdol S11 - Week 5 - “My enemies are all too familiar.They're the ones who used to call me friend."
Mommy gave me a very important job today - I'm supposed to make friends with some monsters. Only Mommy said I musn't call them that, because it's rude, but I think if you have that many extra eyes or antlers or a skull that's always on fire or something then you really can’t blame people for calling you a monster. But Mommy says I need to be extra polite and nice to them even if they don't seem like they deserve it because of Diplomacy.
I don't know what's supposed to be so great about Diplomacy. Diplomacy keeps Mommy very busy and means we have to dress up in uncomfortable clothes and go to boring parties with boring people. Even though making friends with monsters sounds scary it also sounds like it will be way more fun than those stupid parties.
Mommy says that I don't need to be scared, because these particular monsters never hurt children, which sounds like a funny sort of monster to me. I guess they like crazy people too, but mom says anyone crazy enough for them to like isn't someone we want talking to them for us. So I guess that leaves me.
Some of Mommy's advisors (an advisor is a kind of friend that you don't like very much and argue with all the time) shouted at her that sending me was “reckless and irresponsible,” but Mommy just got real quiet and put on her scary face (which is way scarier than any old flaming skull) and told them not to shout at her in front of her daughter. Then they had this hushed conversation I don’t think I was supposed to be able to hear about borders and crops and soldiers and something called “casualty projections” and I guess everyone agreed that I should go be nice to the monsters and see if I can get them to like us and stop turning farms into sand and eating the farmers.
***
Well, I met with the monsters, and Mommy was right - they were super nice to me. They asked all kinds of questions about me and where we live and if I had any secrets. I answered all of the questions that I knew the answers to, but I told them I didn’t have any secrets and even if I did I couldn’t tell them or they wouldn’t be secrets anymore. I don’t think monsters are very smart.
I didn’t really find out much about the monsters. We met in that spooky circle of rocks at the edge of the forest, so I didn’t get to see where the monsters live and whether their houses are really made from bones like stories say they are. I think they probably aren’t, because a house made of bones would be cold and drafty and rain would probably leak in the through the roof all the time. Especially the monsters with flaming skulls for heads wouldn’t want rain leaking in on them all the time, right?
***
I’ve been meeting with the monsters for a couple of weeks now. They seem really nice, even though they do look kind of scary and sometimes they act funny and say things that don’t really make a lot of sense to me. I explained to them about how upsetting it is the stuff that they do to our farmers and farms and stuff, and how we need food and how they shouldn’t eat people. I think I didn’t do a very good job at first because they didn’t seem to understand, but I think they get it now, and Mommy says that nothing bad has happened for a while and that I’m doing a really good job and that she’s proud of me.
Oh, and the last time I saw them, the monsters gave me a present! They said if I bury it in the garden in the courtyard it will grow into a magical tree with flowers that look like glass. That sounds pretty.
***
The garden in the courtyard is on fire, and the flames are funny colors and won’t go out no matter how much water people thrown on them.
I don’t think that was really a present.
I don't think those monsters are really my friends.
I don't know what's supposed to be so great about Diplomacy. Diplomacy keeps Mommy very busy and means we have to dress up in uncomfortable clothes and go to boring parties with boring people. Even though making friends with monsters sounds scary it also sounds like it will be way more fun than those stupid parties.
Mommy says that I don't need to be scared, because these particular monsters never hurt children, which sounds like a funny sort of monster to me. I guess they like crazy people too, but mom says anyone crazy enough for them to like isn't someone we want talking to them for us. So I guess that leaves me.
Some of Mommy's advisors (an advisor is a kind of friend that you don't like very much and argue with all the time) shouted at her that sending me was “reckless and irresponsible,” but Mommy just got real quiet and put on her scary face (which is way scarier than any old flaming skull) and told them not to shout at her in front of her daughter. Then they had this hushed conversation I don’t think I was supposed to be able to hear about borders and crops and soldiers and something called “casualty projections” and I guess everyone agreed that I should go be nice to the monsters and see if I can get them to like us and stop turning farms into sand and eating the farmers.
***
Well, I met with the monsters, and Mommy was right - they were super nice to me. They asked all kinds of questions about me and where we live and if I had any secrets. I answered all of the questions that I knew the answers to, but I told them I didn’t have any secrets and even if I did I couldn’t tell them or they wouldn’t be secrets anymore. I don’t think monsters are very smart.
I didn’t really find out much about the monsters. We met in that spooky circle of rocks at the edge of the forest, so I didn’t get to see where the monsters live and whether their houses are really made from bones like stories say they are. I think they probably aren’t, because a house made of bones would be cold and drafty and rain would probably leak in the through the roof all the time. Especially the monsters with flaming skulls for heads wouldn’t want rain leaking in on them all the time, right?
***
I’ve been meeting with the monsters for a couple of weeks now. They seem really nice, even though they do look kind of scary and sometimes they act funny and say things that don’t really make a lot of sense to me. I explained to them about how upsetting it is the stuff that they do to our farmers and farms and stuff, and how we need food and how they shouldn’t eat people. I think I didn’t do a very good job at first because they didn’t seem to understand, but I think they get it now, and Mommy says that nothing bad has happened for a while and that I’m doing a really good job and that she’s proud of me.
Oh, and the last time I saw them, the monsters gave me a present! They said if I bury it in the garden in the courtyard it will grow into a magical tree with flowers that look like glass. That sounds pretty.
***
The garden in the courtyard is on fire, and the flames are funny colors and won’t go out no matter how much water people thrown on them.
I don’t think that was really a present.
I don't think those monsters are really my friends.