Vomiting up emotions is always wonderful, its a great release, like taking a shit, you feel better afterwards! I think your writing is great! As for, "I know I'm not good enough". Define "enough". =)
Oh jeeze, I could go on forever about how I'm not good enough. Not good enough for the person I love, not good enough for myself, not good enough to realize my dreams, not good enough to realize my potential, not good enough in so many fucking ways its crazy, I still haven't proven myself to myself, but I don't think I will ever be good enough for myself, there are too many things I want for me that are possibly unattainable. And like I've told you before, the first thing I have to have is love, to prove to myself at least that I am desireable and needed etc. etc. I know its probably all a bunch of bullshit I have in my mind, but it holds me back, and I can't really do anything about them, I have to obtain them, or I have to just let myself go... I can't seem to just let myself go though, and I think thats probably why I always have so many problems, everything I set up in my mind beforehand, and when it doesn't come out that way I get so upset, and I jsut try too fucking hard to make things so fucking perfect, for me, and for others
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well, i understand all this all too well sometimes, but don't set such high standards for yourself maybe, cuz i dont see how we can't be good enough for ourselves. but when i see me through my eyes i imagine a different person than i am now, but pfst. gr. blah.
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As for, "I know I'm not good enough". Define "enough". =)
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