Well, lets see, I don't know what to talk about, of course the first thing I want to write about is April, but I think I'll talk about that last... Today I went to the doctor, she told me the tremoring was caused by the Lithium as well as the weak-knee thing. Tomorrow I go to AIU, if we can get everything together tomorrow and do the application ( Read more... )

My Hunger ( Read more... )

I don't know why, but I have the shakes really bad, I can hardly hold my arms still, and when I walk up or down stairs I feel like I'm going to collapse. The leg thing has being going on since I got sick last and only happens when I get excited lately... but the arm thing has only really been there since New Years and I wasn't really worried about ( Read more... )

Well, today was relatively decent, played video games with my brother all day, then decided to get drunk. April called, I wasn't expecting it and had already decided that I wasn't going to call her anymore as I didn't want to disturb her or upset her. We talked for a very long time, 2 hours, the longest we've talked on the phone, when we are ( Read more... )

I don't want to describe my day, but it will keep me busy, and I need that. I woke up at 12ish... just lied there not wanting to move or anything, I just wanted to be nothing if I couldn't be with April... I cried for awhile... my mother started yelling at me because I wasn't out of bed, she heard me crying but didn't ask what was wrong or anything ( Read more... )

I just took my medicine, and I'm drinking... I jsut wanted it to be known, that if I get sick or something or die, I didn't mean to do it... I am depressed as shit, and do want my death, but... I can't do it to myself, I just didn't want anyone to think that I committed suicide... I mean ya know, thats only if I die from the drinking with my meds, ( Read more... )

Well, lets start off by saying that I had a fucking horrible horrible new years. Me and April had planned on seeing each other, I was going to drive up there and bring her back down here with me and we would just stay here for awhile until she had to go back. Needless to say that didn't happen. I went up there early, because I was dying to see her ( Read more... )

I just had the worst dream ever.I somehow got some tickets to Florida, I was fliying, but for some reason our flight was taking us around the world... through Finland... the entire plane was finlandians except me and my girlfriend April and Tim Burton who was the Pilot... well his brother was on there but he was finlandian as well, I was trying to ( Read more... )

When you're calm ( Read more... )

I'm going INSANE. I haven't seen April in about a week now, but it feels like years. On top of that I've been sick.. I'm going to try and go up there the 21st and stay the nite, but still the waiting is killing me. I want to be with her right now! Grr! I'm tempted to just drive there now, and would if I didn't have to go to my grandmother's ( Read more... )