Letter to Cookie
This is an excerpt from the break-up letter I wrote to Cookie.
The truth is we grew apart a while ago but you're too stubborn and I'm too scared to admit it. Your need for 24/7 attention is impossible to deal with. I am actually afraid of living my life because of you. I sometimes keep myself from playing WoW because of you. I make myself invisible on AIM so I don't have to talk to you. And as much as it pains me to say this, I don't want to be with you anymore. And when I've tried to explain to you how I feel you become the victim and I become the bad guy. You turn the table into how I hurt you but because you say you're sorry "it's no longer your fault" that you've hurt me because you've "done all that you can to make it better" and others need to reach out to you.
There's a reason Bilow doesn't want to talk to you. There's a reason Amanda has cut you out of her life. There's a reason Sky won't be your friend anymore. There's a reason why you're not welcome in any of the Rocky casts you were so proudly once part of. And despite what you and your "yes woman" of a therapist says (and whatever small handful of deviants you can get to agree with you) not all these people can be wrong on exactly the same thing at the same time, and over time, when only you are right. Your personality is grating and agitating. You're needy and codependent. You need to learn to care about yourself and find a reason to get through each day on your own and you need to learn how to be friends with people. If you want a relationship with someone, learn to be their friend as well, and don't make them feel bad about everything. "Allowing" them to see their other friends and "letting" them spend holidays with their parents while trying to separate them from those people isn't healthy and it's downright mean.
When I met you I thought you were a strong, independent and intelligent woman. Turns out I was wrong. You look for the easiest solution to your problems, refuse to take the blame and can't seem to be alone. I'm sorry about what has happened to you in the past, but you need to either find someone who is willing to deal with that, or you need to deal with that.
I'm sorry that I have feelings for you because this hurts me to say it, but I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you. And most importantly, I don't believe that you're going to kill yourself no matter what you say anymore so I feel no more sympathy when you make those claims. Like the boy who cried wolf, nobody will be there to listen to you when you really need help next time.
The truth is we grew apart a while ago but you're too stubborn and I'm too scared to admit it. Your need for 24/7 attention is impossible to deal with. I am actually afraid of living my life because of you. I sometimes keep myself from playing WoW because of you. I make myself invisible on AIM so I don't have to talk to you. And as much as it pains me to say this, I don't want to be with you anymore. And when I've tried to explain to you how I feel you become the victim and I become the bad guy. You turn the table into how I hurt you but because you say you're sorry "it's no longer your fault" that you've hurt me because you've "done all that you can to make it better" and others need to reach out to you.
There's a reason Bilow doesn't want to talk to you. There's a reason Amanda has cut you out of her life. There's a reason Sky won't be your friend anymore. There's a reason why you're not welcome in any of the Rocky casts you were so proudly once part of. And despite what you and your "yes woman" of a therapist says (and whatever small handful of deviants you can get to agree with you) not all these people can be wrong on exactly the same thing at the same time, and over time, when only you are right. Your personality is grating and agitating. You're needy and codependent. You need to learn to care about yourself and find a reason to get through each day on your own and you need to learn how to be friends with people. If you want a relationship with someone, learn to be their friend as well, and don't make them feel bad about everything. "Allowing" them to see their other friends and "letting" them spend holidays with their parents while trying to separate them from those people isn't healthy and it's downright mean.
When I met you I thought you were a strong, independent and intelligent woman. Turns out I was wrong. You look for the easiest solution to your problems, refuse to take the blame and can't seem to be alone. I'm sorry about what has happened to you in the past, but you need to either find someone who is willing to deal with that, or you need to deal with that.
I'm sorry that I have feelings for you because this hurts me to say it, but I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you. And most importantly, I don't believe that you're going to kill yourself no matter what you say anymore so I feel no more sympathy when you make those claims. Like the boy who cried wolf, nobody will be there to listen to you when you really need help next time.