Aurica and sex (aka "Batwoman told me I should do it")
Okay, so this (admittedly non-sensical) essay will contain spoilers for Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia, in particular for Aurica's path. As a brief history note, reyvateils are not treated the same on each of the three towers: the tower that Luca and Cloche are from have a certain respect for reyvateils as they need them to create the holy land, and the third game apparently has reyvateils in a position of power. However, in Aurica's tower, reyvateils are sub-citizens who are considered dangerous without a partner to restrain them.
Aurica remarks that she hates her body, because it is a reyvateil's body. I can't blame her. Being a reyvateil is a distinctly sexualised experience at the best of times. Most of the reyvateils we meet are "third generation"; this means that they must insert a very large, painful crystal known as diquility into their body every three months, otherwise they will fall into an extremely high fever and while their bodies cook from the inside, go stark raving mad. The whole process is quite uncomfortable for the Reyvateil: the game plays it as in it's her first time having sex, complete with cultural taboo over showing the port where the crystal is inserted, the phallic nature of the diquility crystal itself, the need to utterly trust your partner and so forth.
In Aurica's Tower, the whole process takes on another layer of very uncomfortable vibes, and the game does not shy away from identifying them and the issues that would result from them. In the tower of Ar Tonelico, diquility is primarily available from two sources -- the Tenba Conglomerate and the Church of El Elemia -- and a reyvateil must choose at puberty which one she will work for. The horrific nature of this is two-fold. Firstly, a reyvateil upon choosing her employer does not choose who her partner is; instead, she is assigned one. Secondly, that partner can demand anything from her in exchange for her working with them. Now, you're probably thinking that physical rape takes place and you'd be right. The game implies very strongly that this happens, and explicitly shows reyvateils being physically abused by their partners while everyone else goes "whatever, she's a reyvateil, that's what she's for".
But the experience is, in my opinion, worse than that. Reyvateils create magic in their subconscious, and need a second person to help them shape their subconscious desires into something that is tangible and coherent. In Aurica's tower, an assigned partner can demand -- and receive -- access to their Reyvateil's mind whenever they want and she cannot refuse. Judging by the conversations you overhear while sneaking around the Tenba organisation, it is quite commonplace to forcibly enter a reyvateil's mind to abuse her into creating song magic, and then when the reyvateil "becomes useless" after two years, cast her off and get a new one. She's then assigned to someone else who also physically and mentally abuses her. The Church is not a lot better in this regard. In fact, to Aurica, the church ultimately is worse.
Essentially, to Aurica, sex is something to be afraid of. Sex is what you do to someone to get what you want from her, regardless of what she wants or thinks, because she's just a tool to be used. Sex is something you use as a weapon to subjugate, control and destroy someone, and then discard them when they're useless to you. However, there's a complicating factor; Aurica is considered to be a failed Reyvateil, someone who is so useless that she's not worth a thing. Aurica is also a physically healthy seventeen year old girl, with all the hormones that go with that. She has a sex drive! She wants a sexual relationship! But as a reyvateil, the only sexual relationship she thinks is available to her is an abusive one. Either her partner is the abusive one, or she will be, and Aurica is tired of being the powerless, helpless one in situations. Part of her development is to realise that she can trust and depend on people and that her choices are not to abuse or be abused.
When the hero, Lyner, enters Aurica's deeper subconscious to help her out, subconscious!Aurica chains him up, shocks him repeatedly until he passes out, sexually molests him and then to cap it off, tries to commit a murder suicide to make sure he can never leave her. The game, to its credit, does not treat this as anything other than deeply and fundamentally horrifying and makes it pretty clear that Aurica hates herself for doing this to the first person to reach out to her and treat her like a person. Lyner essentially has to convince Aurica that she doesn't have to possess and destroy him in order to not be abandoned by him, and that he'll stay with her because he genuinely wants to. It's a hard lesson for Aurica to learn (that's why it's the last "hurdle" in her subconscious; it's the hardest to overcome) because it is the fundamental part of her experience as a reyvateil. If someone wants a reyvateil and thinks that she's useful, part of that is having sex with her! But sex means destroying a reyvateil! So clearly I must strike first so that I'm not hurt! It's not an argument without a reason, as about this time, Aurica has been told for years that she's a failure, tried to be helpful, got told by her childhood hero that she was defective and then when someone said they had a use for her, it was to be the meatpuppet for the big bad.
Aurica did eventually resolve her issues with sex in that she now no longer thinks that sex is designed as a weapon to destroy her. This is because Lyner is a total derpstud who has utmost faith in people, and that faith is contagious when you're someone as affection-starved as Aurica is. That said, I can't see her responding to sex very well for a very long time. There's a lot of connections about sex and abuse she has to disconnect, connections that are enforced upon her by society as her "rightful place" as a reyvateil. Although the society on Ar Tonelico is changing, it's not a fast process and people tend to cling to prejudices for a long, long time.
This is why camp is so strange to Aurica. People don't see her as a reyvateil and, furthermore, don't see her as communal sexual property. She's inherently treated as a person, with basic human rights and dignities! People don't assume that they can hit her whenever they want, yell at her, sexually assault her and demand access to her subconscious whenever they want. She's treated, instead, like a person. And she wishes that her world could be like camp, even with the no-sex rule. It's nice not having to worry about that stuff anymore.
Aurica remarks that she hates her body, because it is a reyvateil's body. I can't blame her. Being a reyvateil is a distinctly sexualised experience at the best of times. Most of the reyvateils we meet are "third generation"; this means that they must insert a very large, painful crystal known as diquility into their body every three months, otherwise they will fall into an extremely high fever and while their bodies cook from the inside, go stark raving mad. The whole process is quite uncomfortable for the Reyvateil: the game plays it as in it's her first time having sex, complete with cultural taboo over showing the port where the crystal is inserted, the phallic nature of the diquility crystal itself, the need to utterly trust your partner and so forth.
In Aurica's Tower, the whole process takes on another layer of very uncomfortable vibes, and the game does not shy away from identifying them and the issues that would result from them. In the tower of Ar Tonelico, diquility is primarily available from two sources -- the Tenba Conglomerate and the Church of El Elemia -- and a reyvateil must choose at puberty which one she will work for. The horrific nature of this is two-fold. Firstly, a reyvateil upon choosing her employer does not choose who her partner is; instead, she is assigned one. Secondly, that partner can demand anything from her in exchange for her working with them. Now, you're probably thinking that physical rape takes place and you'd be right. The game implies very strongly that this happens, and explicitly shows reyvateils being physically abused by their partners while everyone else goes "whatever, she's a reyvateil, that's what she's for".
But the experience is, in my opinion, worse than that. Reyvateils create magic in their subconscious, and need a second person to help them shape their subconscious desires into something that is tangible and coherent. In Aurica's tower, an assigned partner can demand -- and receive -- access to their Reyvateil's mind whenever they want and she cannot refuse. Judging by the conversations you overhear while sneaking around the Tenba organisation, it is quite commonplace to forcibly enter a reyvateil's mind to abuse her into creating song magic, and then when the reyvateil "becomes useless" after two years, cast her off and get a new one. She's then assigned to someone else who also physically and mentally abuses her. The Church is not a lot better in this regard. In fact, to Aurica, the church ultimately is worse.
Essentially, to Aurica, sex is something to be afraid of. Sex is what you do to someone to get what you want from her, regardless of what she wants or thinks, because she's just a tool to be used. Sex is something you use as a weapon to subjugate, control and destroy someone, and then discard them when they're useless to you. However, there's a complicating factor; Aurica is considered to be a failed Reyvateil, someone who is so useless that she's not worth a thing. Aurica is also a physically healthy seventeen year old girl, with all the hormones that go with that. She has a sex drive! She wants a sexual relationship! But as a reyvateil, the only sexual relationship she thinks is available to her is an abusive one. Either her partner is the abusive one, or she will be, and Aurica is tired of being the powerless, helpless one in situations. Part of her development is to realise that she can trust and depend on people and that her choices are not to abuse or be abused.
When the hero, Lyner, enters Aurica's deeper subconscious to help her out, subconscious!Aurica chains him up, shocks him repeatedly until he passes out, sexually molests him and then to cap it off, tries to commit a murder suicide to make sure he can never leave her. The game, to its credit, does not treat this as anything other than deeply and fundamentally horrifying and makes it pretty clear that Aurica hates herself for doing this to the first person to reach out to her and treat her like a person. Lyner essentially has to convince Aurica that she doesn't have to possess and destroy him in order to not be abandoned by him, and that he'll stay with her because he genuinely wants to. It's a hard lesson for Aurica to learn (that's why it's the last "hurdle" in her subconscious; it's the hardest to overcome) because it is the fundamental part of her experience as a reyvateil. If someone wants a reyvateil and thinks that she's useful, part of that is having sex with her! But sex means destroying a reyvateil! So clearly I must strike first so that I'm not hurt! It's not an argument without a reason, as about this time, Aurica has been told for years that she's a failure, tried to be helpful, got told by her childhood hero that she was defective and then when someone said they had a use for her, it was to be the meatpuppet for the big bad.
Aurica did eventually resolve her issues with sex in that she now no longer thinks that sex is designed as a weapon to destroy her. This is because Lyner is a total derpstud who has utmost faith in people, and that faith is contagious when you're someone as affection-starved as Aurica is. That said, I can't see her responding to sex very well for a very long time. There's a lot of connections about sex and abuse she has to disconnect, connections that are enforced upon her by society as her "rightful place" as a reyvateil. Although the society on Ar Tonelico is changing, it's not a fast process and people tend to cling to prejudices for a long, long time.
This is why camp is so strange to Aurica. People don't see her as a reyvateil and, furthermore, don't see her as communal sexual property. She's inherently treated as a person, with basic human rights and dignities! People don't assume that they can hit her whenever they want, yell at her, sexually assault her and demand access to her subconscious whenever they want. She's treated, instead, like a person. And she wishes that her world could be like camp, even with the no-sex rule. It's nice not having to worry about that stuff anymore.