Shino & Hinata should host a cooking show...

[hyuga_hinata]

((Yay, major props to Shi-chan for doing the RP with me! XD This is the aforementioned Shino and Hinata cooking lesson... now available in its entirety online for you to read! Um, be prepared though, this thing is long... XD))



It was a nice day out. Sun shining, birds chirping. The streets of Konoha were already briming with life and chatter as young children played in the streets, storekeepers call out for attention to their numerous projects. A clink of coins could be heard from miles around. A young man of 14 walked down the main streets, heading towards the Hyuuga complex, which was considerably noticible and blantant amongst the rest of the more or less rustic buildings. He carried something under his arm, a box which was considerably large. It also seemed to carry quite a bit of weight, but whether it was a strain to carry was no apparent for the male held a stoic face.

After a short trek, Aburame Shino had reached the home of his teammate, Hyuuga Hinata. Today was to begin yet another day of cooking. Knocking the door with a short rap of his fist, Shino shifted his weight to balance the package better.

Hinata opened the door a crack and, seeing her teammate's spectacled face, she opened the door further.

"Good afternoon, Shino-kun," she said with a small smile. To be quite honest, she was a little nervous about teaching him again- more than a little nervous actually. Hopefully, things would become smoother as Shino learned more and more. She could only pray... but in the meantime, she stepped aside to let Shino enter, curiously glancing at the box under his arm.

Shino entered the estate with his usual indifference. He caught her gaze and traced it to the box that he was carrying. Strolling to a nearby table, he placed the package down, which made a dull thump upon the hardwood table. Without another word, or any at all, he kneeled down as he began to peel the tape off the cardboard, revealing a large microwave.

"It's to replace the one I broke last week." he said with his usual deep, yet monotonous voice. He had felt sorry that he nearly blew up the kitchen by sticking a can of green peas into the microwave which exploded with metal reaction. The kitchen last week was a mess of green peas and carrots (which were stuck to the ceiling.)

"I didn't know what brand to buy so I got the most expensive one." Shino had always been blunt. His statement was neither a brag nor a boast. He honestly had felt that the more highly priced an item was, the more valuable it was. At least when it comes to appliances, which he knew nothing about.

Using his hand as a spring, Shino slowly rised from the floor and brushed off some imaginary dirt before his sunglasses met Hinata's gaze.

"S-Shino-kun, you didn't have to go to so much trouble!" Hinata exclaimed in shock as the microwave was revealed. "But thank you very much..."

She trailed off in thought, wondering how much he had paid for it. It looked like one of the top of the line microwaves - if there was such a thing. And unfortunately, Father had immediately gone out and replaced it with something similar. But maybe it was a good purchase for Shino himself, she thought, he could really get some use out of it.

"Maybe... you could keep and use it for yourself to practice with.." She smiled a little bit. "I should have told you that Father already went and bought another one..."

Shino looked at the microwave and then back at Hinata and then back at the microwave. All in slow motion. He seemed to have trouble grasping what Hinata had said. Keep. The. Microwave? Whatever would he do with a microwave. True, he didn't own a microwave... nor any kitchen appliances for that matter. But that was because he didn't understand them.

"Uhm... well, I don't know how to use one." You could always trust Shino to be honest with people he trusted. But honestly, he didn't know what all the numbers on the pad meant, nor did he know how to use the defrost button (though, he didn't have a freezer, so defrosting was pretty useless.) He didn't even really understand what it was used for.

Besides, he had bought this out of guilt. He had broken the other microwave and this was the one to replace it.

Hinata wondered if she had made a mistake; for a brief second the image of Shino blowing up his entire house or the entire village somehow through the shiny microwave flashed in front of her eyes. But she had faith that he would learn quickly. After all, he was one of the best ninja she knew, right? How could cooking be so hard to learn for a ninja?

"Don't worry," Hinata said quickly. Though maybe she was really reassuring herself... "I'll show you how to use it properly through our lessons." She nodded and bent over beside the microwave. "The numbers... that's how long you want something to cook.. the longer it cooks, the hotter it gets." She paused, pointing at the number pad, and glanced at Shino for confirmation.

It was true that Shino was a ninja, but cooking 101 was not a required skill to learn while in Ninja academy. All that they were taught was survival skills. And Shino had those, who was the one that survived on bark in a cave for a week? Survival was always simple to Shino, but this contraption that cooks, a box that keeps things cold, instant fire from a gas thing. This was all new to the young shinobi.

He glanced back at the shiny new microwave that was now his property. It looked menacing, as if it was going to come and bite his head off or something. How was he to tame something that did not have a heart? But as Hinata glanced over, Shino nodded slightly as if he understood and smiled (quite oddly).

Putting on a brave face, he asked, "Shall we start?"

Hinata sensed a little hesitation on Shino's part, but... it was now or never. She motioned for Shino to follow her into the kitchen.

"How about we practice some more in the kitchen with, um, the microwave here... so you can use yours to practice with at home." She retrieved some food items from the refridgerator. "I think this recipe should be simple enough..." Soon, a number of things like broccoli and carrots and a small chunk of beef covered the counters.

"Okay... now.." she gulped nervously and handed Shino a knife, "Just slice the beef into thin strips,...just as though it was training practice.." she attempted to relate it to their ninja training, wondering if that would connect better. Or just make things worse, she thought, staring anxiously at the knife. "And..um.. go slowly..."

He followed her to the kitchen, his footsteps gradually became heavier as the impeding doom befell on him. 'What was this? This was just cooking. I shouldn't work myself up over cooking.' Shino thought, yet he cowered in fear as he watched Hinata take out supplies and the food they were to cook that day. Who needs vegetables anyways? And beef... no one ate beef. Why it would be splendid just to chow upon water. Everyone loves water.

But he had to face his fate. He was destined to learn how to cook. In fact, if he did not learn, how would he attract -- well he just needed to learn. Learning something like this would be valuble. Why, who knew when he might need to cook for his teammates when they got their fingers chopped off by an enemy... not that they would... but if there was ever a situation such as that, he would need to be prepared to cook right? And first aid too, but cooking was also so important.

Listening to Hinata's instructions calmed him down slightly. This was Hinata, she would help him. Shino was glad he was able to convince her to teach him. Imagine if he had asked Ino. He wouldn't have any cooking done with her bossing him around. And the fact that her bentos were the cause of him wanting to cook. She would sabotage his cooking.

He didn't realize his hand stung until ten minutes later. He looked down and realized that he had lodge his knife deep into the back of his hand. It was bleeding profusely and his hand had already turned a shade of purple. Looking over his shoulder, he found Hinata boiling some vegetables.

"Hey Hinata?" He said while holding up his bleeding hand.

Hinata glanced up at his casual tone, hoping that she might see nice little slices of beef all laid out in a methodical manner. Her face went white as a sheet when, instead, she saw the blood gushing down the back of his hand. But what disturbed her more was the fact that Shino was looking at her quite calmly.

"Oh dear..um..okay..." she tried to keep HER calm and dove down to look under the cabinets. Hinata quickly yanked out a box with some first aid supplies. "Rinse your hand under some water first...." she turned on the tap and not waiting for Shino to move stuck his hand under the stream of water. Don't panic, it's only a little .. wound... she told herself, and tried not to look at it as she shut the tap off and wrapped a bandage around his hand. "Wh..what happened?"

Shino's face throughout this ordeal can be described as... stoic. How he does it, it shall be a mystery. Apparently to him this was no big deal, but Hinata had something different in mind. As he watched Hinata bandage his hand, he remembered the other hand that was just bandage a few days ago after he tried to feed Tenten some medicine. He can say he was used to knives slicing his flesh. Who needs blood anyways? Only wimps do. Blood is for losers.

What happened really? Well, he was thinking about Ino and then he thought about flowers and after that nectar and after that his bugs and after that the bathroom. Least to say he was distracted. Maybe he couldn't multitask that well. No... he could multitask just fine. It was cooking. Damn cooking.

"I cut myself." was all he had for an explaination.

Hinata cracked a nervous smile at his answer. "Well, make sure you keep an eye on what you're doing..." she said gently, double checking to make sure his hand was secure.

"Okay... I'll finish the meat so your hand can heal... and you can watch and get the vegetables when they're done." She tilted her head towards the pot on the stove. "Keep stirring them every so often, and when they're a little soft, put this in the sink-" she handed him a collander "- and put them in here so the water strains out." She smiled a little more optimistically this time.

At least this operation would be relatively harmless, right? No sharp pointy things involved. Just a little hot water, but they sort of covered that in the first lesson. She washed off the other knife and got a new one out, turning towards the meat. Well, it was obvious he had started out really good, but somewhere along the way got distracted...

Concentration was his best skill. At least it was so in a mission. Apparently it did not apply in a kitchen. Such a shame. Shino was the perfect ninja, but a horrible cook. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. But Shino was not a quitter and he would sooner die before he would quit on something as trivial as cooking. Though death seemed to be closer than him learning how to properly turn on the oven.

But he will never give up. His determination was almost admirable and would be worthy of praise if he didn't utterly suck at cooking. Oh well, no use crying over spilt milk, all that's left is to clean it up.

Switching positions with Hinata, he began to stir the pot of hot water. It was nice and bubbling with life. What were the instructions again? Cook until they get soft? Yes, that was it. How long would they have to cook it for? How long did Hinata have them in there? Opening his mouth to ask his teammate, but closing them once again. All he needed to check was whether they were hard or soft right? He didn't need to ask Hinata that. All he neded to do was check the vegetables.

So he stuck his hand into the boiling pot of water and gave the vegatables a slight squeeze. They were still pretty hard. Maybe he should leave them -- OWWWWWWWWWWW. A wave of pain shot into his body. His hand felt like it was on fire. Oh. It was. How did that happen? Oh yes... he felt the pain of the boiling water and tried to shake his hand out, but ended up toppling the boiling water onto the floor and his arm caught on fire from the stove.

"Uh, Hinata?" He held up his burning arm. Again. The second time he burned his hand.

Hinata gasped and ran over to Shino, again flipping on the ever-so-convenient tap. She would have thrown Shino into the sink if he had fit, but instead she took off the spray nozzle and drenched Shino's arm - and okay, probably the rest of him too. When the flame died down she got out some burn cream from the first aid box.

"Here, put this on your burn," she said, unscrewing the top and handing it to him. Hinata sighed. She had to be the worst teacher EVER. In a span of 15 minutes her student had nearly gotten himself killed twice. She chewed on her lip as she watched him apply the cream and then proceeded to bandage his arm.

"Are you all right?" she asked, mentally bonking her head against a wall for asking such a stupid question. Maybe she would have to haul in the big guns and ask Kurenai-sensei to come over and help... right now, she felt like she had utterly failed Shino.

"Hmm." Shino murmured softly as he watched Hinata bandage his arm ever so gently. This was the second burn he had gotten from the cooking lessons. Staring at his other hand, which was previously cut by a sharp knife not so long again, he nodded ever so slightly. He was certain. These cooking lessons were going GREAT! Why, he had only injured himself three times (including the burn from the first lesson) and it was already the second lesson. He was certain that he was making immediate progress. This cooking thing was so much easier than shinobi lessons.

Another time that he remembered fondly was the time when his father would lock him up in a cave with a variety of bugs, some mere household bugs and some deadly "one bite and you're dead" bugs. He was made to kindle friendship with these little critters. Of course he had done so, twas his task, but he did end up with slight malnutrition and a small case of suffocation. (It seemed that his father forgot to supply air holes for oxygen, but Shino doesn't need OXYGEN. He was a SHINOBI.) Besides all that's important was that Shino successfully completed his task and was awarded for it. Along with the satisfaction that he was able to communicate with these bugs, he also was allowed to have rice for a week.

Why, this was all pre-academy days too. He had much fun training with his father during and after his graduation. All wonderfully exciting memories. But this trip down memory lane was interrupted as Shino was drawn back into reality. He was supposed to be cooking. Determined, he vowed on his life that he would learn to cook successfully! After Hinata had finished tending to Shino's wounds, he made his way toward the sharp kitchen instruments
and picked out the sharpest knife he could find.

With a emotionless face, he turned to Hinata and a slow (creepy) smile crept upon his face.

"What next?"

Hinata gulped. She wondered what Shino was actually hoping to accomplish with the sharpest knife in the drawer seeing as there was, well, nothing really to cut anymore. And the smile was making her even more anxious. Why was it that he NEVER looked like this during battle, and yet in the kitchen...?

Looking past him, she saw the meat on the table, and slowly said, "Um... now, we should use a little bit of spice on the meat, and then put it in a pan so it can cook in the oven..."

She opened the spice cabinet, which held a bevy of bottles, ranging from short and squat to tall and thin; some even had labels that weren't in Japanese. Heck, some didn't even have labels. Hinata managed to pick out a few from the pack and showed them to Shino-kun.

"Spicing your food is all up to your tastes and preferences... but generally remember that too much spice will really make things taste terrible.. it shouldn't cover the flavor of the meat... and too little spice won't even be noticed by your guests."

She explained to him some of the various spices' tastes and their uses, mentioning names like paprika, oregano, nutmeg, cayenne, chili powder, and allspice.

"And if all else fails you can just use pepper.. of course, in the field, you don't really have spices... but when making dinner for guests it's an option..." She reminded him.

Disappointed to learn that he wasn't going to use the nice sharp Knife-kun, Shino put it back gently in the drawer, giving it one sad forlorn stroke before turning his attention to the lump of meat on the table. Now, Shino doesn't eat meat very often. It wasn't like he didn't like meat, no, it was quite the opposite. He loved meat. Meat was for men. And Shino was a manly man. Of course he would eat meat. But for some strange reason, his iron-clad stomach couldn't handle the meat. Perhaps it was because the morsel would still be fresh and bleeding when he ate it. There was a good reason to that. He couldn't cook. He had once tried to cook it over a fire, but the fires always seemed to scream and go out. So he ate his meat raw. He really hadn't truly eaten cooked meat until Ino's bentos with those neat little octopus wieners.

Why this was a great opportunity to learn how to cook meat! He could eat it more often if he didn't have to throw up afterwards. Feeling rejuvenated to learn, eyeing the contents that Hinata had brought to the table. There were an assortment of jars and bottles of refined … stuff. Shino didn't really understand Hinata's explanation as to which spices do what and didn't really understand why he needed to know what these puny little things did. Ohoho, it was the meat that was shining in Shino's eyes. But Hinata seemed to know her stuff…

So, Shino took the chili powder, which was closest, and started to gently shake some out. There was something prevent the powder from coming through, so Shino gently patted the back of the glass container. Some more flecks flew into the meat. Seeing his solution, Shino smacked the container so hard, it nearly cracked. But now, the seal that kept a moderate amount of spice from going through had fallen out and the piece of meat was covered by a mound of red specks.

Oh no! What to do now? Oh! Shino remembered something, nutmeg was sweet, right? That should help balance out the effect, so he grabbed the nutmeg jar and started pouring on the meat. After emptying half the jar, Shino realized it would taste too sweet, sweet meat was not for men. So he picked up the oregano because it sounded manly and began to pour that in. Using his twisted logic, Shino managed to put all 30 types of spices on five ounces of meat.

Hinata bit her lip watching Shino... she knew that when she was first learning to cook, she put a little too much spice on her meat before cooking it, because she thought the flavor wouldn't come through...

But she watched as a little multi-colored mound slowly rise from the piece of meat.

"Ah, Shino-kun.." she reached out tentatively and patted the mountain of spice. "I think this is.. just the right amount..." She didn't have the heart to tell him that it was just a little too much, but he would learn by experimenting, right? Giving a patient smile, she moved the meat in a pan.

She really had no idea what was going wrong ... but most certainly it had to be the way she was teaching him. She wasn't sure what she could do right now, but later she would ask Kurenai-sensei to come in and watch to see what she was doing wrong. Until then, Hinata decided just to make sure Shino-kun wasn't going to blow the house up by all means possible.

"All right..." she said carefully. "Now, we're going to cook the meat... there's a few levels of rarity ... if it's pink, that means it's uncooked, and if there's no pink at all, it's cooked all the way through. Could you turn the oven on up to 400 degrees?"

Shino was proud. He had done something right. Hinata even praised him. How happy he felt. He truely thought that this was going to be the most DELICIOUS piece of meat he has ever eaten. (But that didn't say much considering the only meat products he had ever eaten was the weiners that Ino made for bento.) He was picking up this cooking stuff quite quickly. He was sure that he could be the best cook in the village after these very helpful lessons.

Beaming (although his smile was concealed by his collar), he walked over to the over to look at the oven. It looked like a standard oven with basic funtions. But to Shino, there were too many buttons. One was a dial that had many numbers and the others had various functions such as bake, broil and so on. Shino thought it was simple to turn on the oven. After all, all he had to do was move the dial to 400 degrees and turn it on.

But wait, he thought about it and realized that the meat would cook much quicker if he turned it to 500 degrees. And even faster if he turned it up to 550 degrees. Why should he settle for 400? Humming slightly, he took the dial and began to move it to the highest option available. 800 degrees. Two times the degrees means two times quicker than it would be for 400 right? Logically it makes sense. Cooking-wise... I don't know.

Shino, happy with his decision, looked at Hinata with a happy face. Even though you couldn't see it.

Hinata smiled back and reached to get a plate and a knife for the meat when it was finished. Almost immediately after Shino had turned the oven on, a strange smell started to fill the room. Hinata's nose twitched; she didn't need to have Kiba's nose to smell the gas. She knew their oven had always been a bit gassy at first, especially over 400 degrees....

She turned to Shino, "Um... what did you set the temperature at again?" She asked innocently. She had faith in him that he had followed directions... at least, she hoped he did! She wasn't going to betray him by double checking - she'd just ask again.

Shino could smell it too, but he thought it was normal. How was he supposed to know how an oven smelled like? He never used one, never had one. He didn't even eat meat. So he had thought it was perfectly normal and it was nothing to worry about.

"800." He said, perfectly unaware that ovens weren't exactly supposed to be that high. He was sure that his logic would not fail. He was sure of it.

For a second, Hinata thought he had said 400. She continued to arrange the silverware on the plate and got ready to take the meat out of the oven in about... 15 minutes...
when she froze.

"Ahh!" Hinata dived for the oven and flipped it to off. By now, a charred smell had mixed with the strange gas scent in the air. She wiped her forehead as she looked back at Shino, smiling nervously.

"Ano, ovens that use gas... if you breathe the gas too much you'll eventually pass out..." Once again she had failed Shino-kun by not telling him crucial information, and he must have thought it would cook faster (she thought he might have understood that faster is not always better, in the case of the microwave incident). She fumbled with the oven mitt and then took the pan out from the oven. Inside the pan lay a little black slab of what may have once been meat, and maybe even a little black pile of spices on top.

Hinata bit her lip and delicately set the pan on the counter. "Um... I'm sorry, Shino-kun..."

Why, what a wonderful smell. It was strangely intoxicating. Shino inhaled, feeling blissing and on cloud nine. He felt high like he was flying. Why, this was the best feeling in the world. He inhaled again. And again. Until he felt slightly dizzy. Then the dizziness fell away and he felt like sleeping. Sleeping forever and ever. There would be nothing better.

But then he heard Hinata exclaim something as she went to turn off the gas. And all of a sudden, the feeling of sleepiness fell away and everything felt okay again. Shino realized it was because he was breathing again. Oh, my, breathing was much nicer than that high feeling. Shino inhaled. He liked oxygen.

Shino looked at the big black lump on the slighty charred metal plate. He took a piece of it and shoved it in his mouth. It didn't taste too bad. What was wrong with it?

Hinata winced as she watched Shino bite into the former piece of meat. "Shino-kun.. maybe... you shouldn't do that.. I'm sure it can't taste too good..."

She hoped that maybe she had taught him something from this class of craziness, but she wasn't sure... well, there was always a next time right? And she was placing her hopes on Kurenai-sensei to give her a hand... she watched Shino expectantly to see what his reaction would be to the brick in his mouth.

Chew. Chew. Chew. Why the morsel of would-be food was quite crunchy. The texture was chalky and lumpy. The taste was bland and with a slight tinge of charcoal taste. Why it was an exquisite taste. Shino was feeling quite proud of himself.

Cough. Cough. Cough. Shino covers his mouth, his face still slack and void of emotion as if coughing was normal and there was no problem. Suddenly Shino felt slightly itchy. Itchy all over. He resisted the urge to scratch himself, one because his bugs did not appreciate the gesture and two, he wasn't going to scratch himself in front of Hinata and in her kitchen. But it was REALLY itchy. His bugs were starting to get slightly restless. Clearly they were affected by this too. They started to clamor and began to file out of his body. Damn, they were disobeying him. Shino would have tried something if he didn't feel so itchy. He didn't dare move, he would probably feel even more itchy.

His skin was starting to become red and patchy. What was happening, he wondered as he watched the rash invade his body and spreading all over his body. Or so he thought, he couldn't really tell how far it got because of his coat, but he could see some of it on his leg. And it was ever so itchy. He could no longer stand it.

He started scratching, first with one hand and then when it was impossible to satisfy the urge to scratch, he used two. But it proved that two wasn't enough. Itch. Itch. Itch. Shino felt slightly overwelmed and wiped a bit of sweat from his face. He was sweating? That was odd, he had hardly ever sweat in his life, the bugs in his body were his own AC unit, but now that they have evicted themselves from his body and this pressure falling upon him, Shino began to sweat.

Thump. He falls to the floor, unable to move any longer. Thoughout the situation, his face still remained emotionless and slack. Well, this is a nice situation, Shino thought as he looked up to see Hinata's reaction. This is nice.