just my luck; [onew/jonghyun]
just my luck
onew/jonghyun; pg-13
4,485 words
Jinki finds his luck in the most unexpected of places. I have no excuse. :| This is just weird and cracky, idk. LUCKY THONGS, AHOY.
Their stylist circles him like a vulture sizing up its prey, pursing her lips and shaking her head every so often, hawk-like gazed fixed on the area between his legs. Jinki sighs to himself; if she didn't trust this woman so much, he would have run for dear life.
"Noona," he says carefully as to not offend. "Is there something wrong?"
"You bet your cute little butt there's something wrong, honey," she says without missing a beat, and Jinki twitches a little. "You have visible panty lines - well, in this case, briefs lines - but I'm sure you get the idea and it's not pretty at all."
"Um," Jinki says, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "I could change into something else?"
"Of course you're changing, I can't let you go onstage in that or it'll you get on the worst-dressed list," she says candidly. "Stay there, Onew-shii. I've got the perfect solution to this dilemma."
Jinki doesn't know what the appropriate reaction is when their stylist comes back with an impossibly small, tight-looking pair of black thongs. Should he be ecstatic and treat it like a press conference where he comes prepared with a rehearsed smile? Or should he outrageously, righteously scream 'what the hell are you thinking?'
As it turns out, the better side, the side that cowered under the face of elder disapproval, wins this fierce internal battle, and all he musters is "W-what?"
"Quickly now." Their stylist wastes no time in ushering him to the dressing quarters, handing him the stretch material and pointedly ignoring his (weak) protests. "Be a man, Onew-shii! Those skinnies won't settle for anything less than this baby," she pauses to to wiggle her eyebrows, "Or should I say anything more?"
"Please tell me the rest of the guys are wearing it, too?" He doesn't think he'll be able to take it if he finds out his members are wearing regular briefs while he's stuck with the flimsy excuse for underwear.
Their stylist chuckles behind the curtain. "Oh, no. And do you want to know why?" Her voice drops to a sly whisper. "Because they all have flat butts!"
"N-noona!" Jinki says, scandalized. He feels a blush creeping to his cheeks.
"Just in case you need it, I have an emergency pack here of five more," she tells him. "They're disposable so just chuck them at the trash bin when you're through with one."
"Oh, no," he groans. He is going to throw those out the moment they get back to the dorm, pronto.
She laughs boisterously. "By the way, Onew-shii, better take care of those. I don't think you'll believe me when I say this, but they have magical powers."
... Okay. Not only does he have to live with four hormonal teenage boys, but now he has to deal with a possibly mental stylist. Great.
"Whenever you wear them, you'll be granted immeasurable luck. And trust me, you need that more than the other boys," she continues with a hint of playfulness even as Jinki holds back a disbelieving snort.
When he steps out, his stylist gives him a once-over before brushing his bangs out of his eyes. "Go out there and give a killer performance," she says, full of affection. "And don't forget, your package is hanging all over your lucky charm!"
For once, Jinki doesn't have the energy to indulge his members when they chide and tease over how much time he spent in the room with their stylist.
"Are you having an affair with the stylist-noona?" Kibum asks, wheedling him with insistent tugs at his shirt. "You're all red and sweaty and we haven't even gone out yet!"
He doesn't have time to tell them his face is red because he itches and it is chafing his skin; an assistant has called them over to tell them they'll be performing in five minutes.
"I think we should all get something for Kibum-hyung," Taemin declares, looking at Minho, Jonghyun and Jinki from his position on the computer chair. The four members had gathered in the work room while Kibum was out in the kitchen making his specialty lunch to plan their birthday gift for the self-declared band mother.
"What does he want?" Minho chimes in, face impassive as ever.
Taemin shrugs, then looks to the other two in the room. "Jinki-hyung? Jjong-hyung? Any ideas?"
"Clothes are good," Jonghyun says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "He's been talking about getting this jacket for ages but he's never had the time to go out and actually buy it."
"Or gadgets!" Jinki blurts. "Like new speakers or headphones."
"Kibum's an only kid, he gets practically everything he wants," Jonghyun laments, leaning back into his seat and exhaling loudly. "Let's just get him a boyfriend. Is Chansung-hyung still available?"
Taemin suddenly lets out a blaring laugh, and even Minho cracks a smile. Jinki is the only one who frowns. "He likes Chansung?"
Jonghyun shrugs carelessly. "Dunno. Kibum generally says nice things about him, and they text a lot. Does that count as 'like'?"
Jinki doesn't know if it's the right time to bring this up, but he supposes that it's now or never. He's always been curious. The whispered secrets, stolen glances, hidden smiles that he could never be privy to - it was eating at him and he wanted to know what they all meant.
"Jjong-ah," he begins hesitantly, "I thought... you and Kibum were - you know." He loops his index and middle fingers together. "That."
Jonghyun stares at him for a long moment, like he's spontaneously grown a second head, before bursting into laughter. "Hyung," he says between wheezes of breath, "You take those UFO fan messages way too seriously."
He is surprised at himself when later at lunch, when Jonghyun kicks Kibum in the shin and Kibum retaliates with a well-placed punch to the arm, he doesn't feel anything but mild relief. He doesn't understand - usually he feels that these things always escalate to something more. And now that he knows they don't, it's like the proverbial weight is lifted off his shoulders. He didn't even know there was weight in the first place.
Just before his and Jonghyun's gift-shopping trip, clad only in a towel wrapped around the waist, he desperately looks for clean underwear in the intimates drawer. So far, all he's managed to see are Minho's monochrome bikini briefs (all in the classic colors of black, blue and the occasional red) and Taemin's cartoon character-filled boy shorts. He's about to scour under Kibum's color-coded pile, when who else but Kibum materializes behind him.
"Hyung," Kibum drawls. "Are you stealing my underwear?"
He jumps about two feet in the air. "K-Kibum! Uh, Err. No," he stammers, turning to face an irate-looking junior. He ruefully rubs the back of his neck. "My pile seems to be - Um."
"Missing?" the other boy says. "I threw them out."
"You - what?! Why?"
"There was an accident - I mixed them in with the colored ones," Kibum admits, his face transforming from mildly irritated to extremely guilty in a matter of seconds. "I'll just tell manager-hyung to bring new ones in your size later. In the meantime you can borrow mine, but you have to wash it yourself!"
Jinki takes a quick glance at Kibum's tight, mauve underwear and gulps. This is a pretty tough choice to make, but - "I have... spares, so there's no need. Thanks anyway, Kibum-ah."
He sighs as Kibum gives him a disbelieving stare. Time to get used to the chafing again.
"Isn't this the best mustache ever?" Jonghyun says emphatically later that afternoon, wrinkling his nose. They're out roaming the Seoul Shopping District in the best disguises they could dig out from under the closet. "I feel so authoritarian!"
"Ri-ight," Jinki draws out, barely holding back giggles. "You always looked more like a leader, Jjong-ah." Jonghyun looked ridiculous in his Hitler mustache and giant bug shades, but he didn't look any better with the sombrero and giant nerd glasses. Taemin and Minho must have rolled around the floor laughing as soon as they left.
Jonghyun looks at him in apparent surprise, before twining an arm around his elbow. "Hyung, don't joke about that. You're the better leader; I'm too spastic to get anything done - oh, hey! Won't Kibum like that shirt?" His gaze flies to a wndow display. The words "DON'T MESS WITH THE PRINCESS" is emblazoned in glittery, rainbow-colored lettering on a neon pink shirt. It was...
"Perfect!" He exclaims, tugging at Jonghyun's arm. "We should get it -"
"Before some other little girl gets to it first?" Jonghyun continues, eyes crinkling. "Just kidding, hyung. Let's go to the gadget store down the block."
They lower their heads as they enter the non-descript establishment, all gray walls and somber atmosphere.
"Hello?" Jinki says, confused. Not everyone could have been out on a snack break, right?
"Weird," Jonghyun mutters in that low bass he used whenever he tried to disguise himself. Jinki has only heard about it from Kibum as he and Jonghyun don't shop together very often. It's strange to hear a not entirely alien and yet unfamiliar tone from the boy he'd been so used to hearing as a tenor.
"I don't really know you, do I?" Jinki says exactly what he's thinking, and Jonghyun peers at him curiously.
"What?"
"I - "
"CONGRATULATIONS!"
"... Bwuh?" Jinki manages, holding up a hand to shield his eyes from the flashing lights. Jonghyun shrieks a little beside him, cutting off the circulation in his upper arm with a death hold.
He is also suddenly, acutely aware of his thong rubbing uncomfortably against his, ahem, family jewels. Just when he was beginning to get used to its presence. Fantastic.
Three uniformed store employees, all girls, have popped out from the behind the counters, clapping with large smiles on their made-up faces. The middle girl points to Jinki and hollers, "You're the 30th costumer for today! Congratulations!"
Again, all Jinki says is "...Bwuh?"
"Today is our first-year anniversary!" Another smiling employee explains. "And because you're the 30th customer, you get -" she pauses for dramatic effect, then spreads her arms as confetti rains down from the ceiling and into Jinki's slightly agape mouth. "A one-year supply of Chicken Breast from our partner store, Chicks and Co.!"
"Oh my god, hyung!" Jonghyun grips his shoulders as the girl hands him a thick wad of gift certificates. "You actually won something!" He does a few giddy skips much like a child in a candy store and tightly embraces Jinki around the waist.
"Aw, how sweet," the last employee cooes, clasping her hands together. "You'd think they won a honeymoon trip."
Jinki wisely chooses to ignore the last bit and concentrates on Jonghyun's flushed, excited face... and the wisp of a mustache falling to the ground.
"Hey, aren't you -"
"...Oops."
Jonghyun grabs his wrist with lightning quick speed as Jinki hurriedly says, "Thank you for the prize, please continue supporting SHINee!"
They break into a run as screams erupt from the store. They hide behind a brick wall on a near-deserted street corner, fingers laced, and Jinki finds himself having second thoughts on their stylist's supposed insanity.
After the not-so-disastrous shopping trip (not so bad, Jonghyun had insisted, because he won something, nevermind that they only had four more days left to buy Kibum a present), the four members gather in the living room at midnight as Kibum is soundly asleep. Jonghyun proceeds to profusely mutter apologies, then excitedly tells the story of how Jinki won a year's supply of chicken breast.
It still sounded strange to Jinki, no matter how much he loved chicken.
"You guys should've seen Jinki-ah's face!" Jonghyun is telling Taemin and Minho animatedly complete with elaborate hand gestures. "His mouth was open like this -" he stretches a hand over his jaw and sticks his tongue out.
"Hyung, I thought confetti was falling from the ceiling, not snow," Minho deadpans, but he can't help the amused smile blossoming on his face.
"Imagine the many ways we can cook it!" Taemin interjects with a dreamy smile.
"Guys, what about Kibum's gift?" Jinki finally says. They were getting way off-topic and it was already hours past Taemin's regular bedtime!
Jonghyun waves a dismissive hand. "Let's just order online. I know this website where you can get designer items super cheap."
"Or," Taemin says, snapping his fingers. "We can do something that'll really surprise him, like cook the day's meals and compose him a song!"
"Cooking is easy," Jonghyun says. " But composing a song in four days? Taeminnie, you're all alone on that one."
"How about a massage?" Minho says.
"Will it be Chansung-hyung doing the massaging?" Jonghyun asks hopefully.
"No," Minho says dryly. "I will."
Jonghyun whistles under his breath while Taemin nods eagerly, turning to both Jonghyun and Jinki. "He's really good!"
Jinki doesn't normally press his fingers on the bridge of his nose, but this time he does it without preamble. He did not want to think about Minho performing massages on Taemin's anywhere right now.
"How about we cook, order online and give a massage?" Jinki suggests, hoping that they somehow reach a consensus soon. He feels an imminent wedgie and didn't want to wriggle uncomfortably in front of his juniors. "I can take care of the cooking, Jonghyun can order online, and you two massage Kibum. Okay?"
Jinki starts to feel like something's up when he and the rest of his members are jogging the next morning.
Jonghyun and Kibum are side by side at the front, debating over whether birkenstock sandals were still considered fashionable or not. These discussions are an essential part of both their personas, Jinki thinks, for it to become an almost regular morning ritual.
"I'm telling you, they're practical, sturdy and comfortable," Jonghyun argues. "What isn't fashionable about that?"
"You know nothing about fashion, you neanderthal," Kibum haughtily replies. "You have to sacrifice comfort for beauty! Being in the idol business hasn't taught you anything!"
"Oh, and I suppose you'd prefer to wear 4-inch stilettos then?" Jonghyun sneers, daring Kibum to counter.
Kibum rolls his eyes. "Of course!"
"Hyung!" Taemin chortles, mock-scandalized. He and Minho seem to be getting a kick out of being (mostly) silent peanut gallery.
Jonghyun screams "Princess!" at the top of his lungs. Jinki, who by this time has overtaken Kibum and Jonghyun at the lead, supposes that to be able to run and banter at the same time is like second nature to Jonghyun and Kibum; maybe that's how they perfected the technique of simultaneous song and dance without ever running out of air.
Unexpectedly, he feels his thong, the second one in the pack, scrape a rather sensitive part of him, and he comes to a full stop just behind a crack on the ground.
Kibum rushes past him, but Jonghyun isn't as lucky. He crashes head-first into Jinki's back and falls to the cement with a dull thud. Jinki turns back, utterly horrified. "Jjong-ah, are you okay? I'm so sorry -"
"O-ow," Jonghyun cringes, rubbing his hip. "I'm okay, just - ow - help me up, hyung."
Jinki hoists Jonghyun up by the arm, noting how incredibly warm and light the other was. Not the right time, Jinki, he reprimands himself as he and a slightly limping Jonghyun catch up to the other three waiting a good distance ahead.
"So," Kibum gloats to Jonghyun back in their apartment as Jinki gently guides him to the couch. "Who's the princess now?"
Jonghyun sniffs loudly, but Jinki sees the unmistakable tint of red on his cheeks when he murmurs apologies into his ear.
On an early morning two days before Kibum's birthday, Jinki and Jonghyun are picked to represent SHINee on a KBS pilot, an experimental show aimed at the teen market. Every week, three teams composed of two members from the current idol groups were to compete against each other in "Can You Guess That Line" sort of singing competition. Sounded easy enough for all the teams involved, who, aside from the two of them, were Jokwon and Changmin from 2AM, and Hongki and Jonghun from F.T. Island.
The catch is that one of them had to be in drag the entire time. Jokwon flips a hand airily and announces that he has no problem wearing women's clothing (Changmin wisely decided to keep mum on this), so when he lost to Changmin after five rounds rounds of rock-paper-scissors, nobody was surprised. Jonghun and Hongki had looked at each other nervously, but Hongki eventually lost after a long fifth round.
As for the last team - Jonghyun lost spectacularly after only three quick rounds, much to Jinki's outright surprise. He's surprised he managed so well despite being on the verge of yet another situation down under.
"I'm starting to actually believe this thing is lucky," he mumbles to himself. Jonghyun, dressed in a pearl white dress not unlike a wedding gown, furrows his eyebrows at him.
"What are you muttering to yourself for?" Jonghyun grouses, crossing his arms in front of his padded chest. "You're not the one stuck in the stupid dress for three freaking hours."
The taping starts without a hitch, and Jonghyun and Jinki advance into the championship round after a close fight with Jokwon and Changmin.
"Jonghyun-shii and Onew-shii of SHINee," the rotund host begins, reading smoothly off his cue cards. "For the final round, your categories are 'Trot' and 'English Ballads.' Choose wisely! 2 million won to donate to your favorite charities is on the line!'
Jinki grins; this is going to be easy. Of course he's going to pick -
"English ballads, please, Jung-shii," Jonghyun says.
Jinki turns to Jonghyun and mouths a silent, outraged 'what?!'
"Don't worry, Jinki-ah," Jonghyun reassures him with a genial pat on the arm. "I listen to all kinds of English ballads on my ipod. There is no way I wouldn't know anything he throws at us."
"And your song is -" The host turns to the screen behind them. "'I have nothing' by Whitney Houston!"
Jonghyun tenses. "... Except that."
Jinki only blinks. He actually knows this song. He can't fathom how or why, but he knows it. "Jonghyun," he says, and it's his turn to clasp the other boy's hand. "I've got this."
They return home later to loud cheers, hugs (Minho and Taemin) and affectionate jeers (Kibum). Jinki watches in amusement as Jonghyun swats Kibum's hands away.
"You're such a bitch, Jjong," Kibum says, but his voice is warm. "Especially during the part where you made googly eyes at Jinki." He proceeds to demonstrate said googly eyes, batting his eyelashes at Jinki and singing "I have nothing if I don't have you" in perfect falsetto. At some point in Kibum's 'impersonation,' Minho is persuaded to join in, and he spins Kibum around twice before dipping him.
"Oh, Jinki!" Kibum swoons in Minho's arms.
"Cut that out! I did no such thing, you ass."
Kibum practically bursts at the seams with peals of hearty laughter. "Yeah, right." He turns to Jinki and tut-tuts. "Watch out, hyung. Jonghyun's out to get your goods."
"That's it! I'm out of here and off to bed," Jonghyun declares, crossing the hall to their room and banging it shut.
"Somebody's menstruating," Kibum says after the awkward silence filled in for Jonghyun's sudden absence. "Well, who wants dinner? Jinki-hyung?"
Jinki is too busy staring at the door to their room to notice.
There is no doubt on Jinki's mind that something is amiss the next day. Aside from the fact that he's on his fourth pair of thongs, Jonghyun has been avoiding him since last night's little teasing incident.
He can think of two reasons why his stack of new underwear hadn't arrived yet: one, Kibum enjoyed seeing him suffer the indignity of thongs - he was always 'checking' Jinki's backside for lint and dirt; two, their manager acquired a case of retrograde amnesia as Kibum swore left and right that he texted their manager multiple times.
He can only think of one reason why Jonghyun has been taking enormous steps to avoid him: Jonghyun is fed up with him and his overflowing well of failure.
He should be used to it, people giving up on him, and he is to some degree. But it didn't have to hurt this much. Especially when for all he knew, Jonghyun is just sick with the flu and didn't want to infect him.
"... Right, keep telling yourself that and maybe it'll come true," he thinks. Jonghyun had been playing video games with Taemin and going over music sheets with Minho the entire day. He even had time to bicker with Kibum over breakfast. The only time he and Jinki breathed within five feet of each other, he was armed with an excuse.
"Jjong-ah, want to do stretches with me?"
"I have to take a shower. Sorry, hyung."
"Oh, okay. Have you ordered Kibum's present yet?"
"Done."
"When is it arriving?"
"Tomorrow morning."
"Um."
"What?"
"... Nothing."
This isn't right. Just a day before Kibum's birthday and internal conflicts arise? As leader, it was embarrassing that he let it happen, and even more pathetic that caused it. Lying on his bed and staring up at the dark ceiling, he wanted to curl up into a fetal ball and expire. How was he going to fix this if Jonghyun didn't want to be near him, much less talk to him?
A sudden flash of bright, white light startles Jinki into sitting up. Jonghyun is standing by the door with a hand on the flip switch.
"Minho-yah, have you seen my -" Jonghyun freezes at the sight of Jinki. "Oh. Hyung. I'll just go, sorry."
'No, wait!" Jinki says, leaping out of the bed and rushing in front of the smaller boy, cornering him with two arms placed on either side of his head. "We need to talk."
Jonghyun is stunned, to say the least. However, he quickly masks it into an expression of indifference. "We have nothing to talk about. Can you step aside?"
"No, I won't. Not until you listen to me." Jinki himself is surprised at his rare show of dominance. "Jonghyun-ah. Jonghyun. I'm sorry. Whatever it is I did, I'm sorry." Jinki's eyes soften, and his arms drop.
"I tried," Jonghyun answers. "I tried, hyung. I really tried."
Jinki is momentarily confused. "Tried what?" Forgiving him? And Jonghyun can't, no matter how much he tried? He doesn't know what he did exactly, but he's willing to surrender himself and put up a white flag just so everything will go back to the way it was.
"I - I want to propose a truce," he says, fiddling with his hands. "Kibum's birthday is tomorrow and I don't think he wants to see us like this."
Jonghyun isn't looking at him, but he's shaking his head. "I tried. But I still don't understand why -"
"Why?" Jinki prods. Try as he might, he still doesn't get what Jonghyun is trying to say. It's as if he's in another realm, the way he sounded.
"I'm weird around you," Jonghyun finally says, hollow and about to crack. Jinki has never heard him like this, with panic creeping up and taking hold of every word, every lilt. "I trip, I fall, I lose." His voice drops, sad and low and still so sweet to Jinki's ears. "I'm not used to losing."
Oh. Oh.
And just like that, a heavy, crushing weight is suddenly lifted off his chest. He knows now; it's like the murky glass is wiped clean from beneath him, and he catches his breath just in time.
Jinki doesn't say anything but takes him in his arms, inhaling deeply. He's oddly pleased to find that Jonghyun, feisty and fiery and aggressive, takes a long time to yield, but when he does, it's exhilarating and just right.
"Don't you hear what Taemin and Kibum are saying?" Jonghyun murmurs into his shoulder. "They said your condition's passed on to me. You're suddenly the lucky one in this group. How about that?"
Jinki chuckles and plants a ghost of a kiss on Jonghyun's neck. "It's not so bad to lose sometimes." He pulls back, smiling tenderly at the other boy.
Jonghyun's hand is on his neck, pulling him gently, closer and closer until their foreheads touch. "I guess it's not so bad when I have you as consolation prize."
Kibum, with a box of new underwear in tow, catches them making out in the living room. He looks torn between amusement and exasperation as he dumps the box in front of them with a hand on his hip.
"It's my birthday and you two are being disgusting," he says, as if talking to himself. "What'll I do with the both of you?"
Jonghyun unwinds himself from Jinki's arms to glare at Kibum. "I bought you a designer jacket and Jinki cooked for you. The least you could do is give us some privacy!"
Kibum rolls his eyes. "Fine, whatever. Have fun unraveling the wonders inside Jinki-hyung's thong."
Jonghyun's eyes bug out of his head. "Thong?" He turns to Jinki with undisguised desperation. "Please tell me you're in a thong."
"Uh, no," Jinki says slowly, ignoring Jonghyun's anguished wail. "I kinda threw it away."
Except for one, and he doesn't bother to know or care where that particular one had gone. Lucky charms were overrated, really, when all the luck he needed was right under his nose.
EPILOGUE:
Taemin and Minho are giving the birthday boy the best massage of his life, and he rightly tells them so after Minho hits a sweet spot on his left shoulder blade.
"Mm, that feels good," Kibum moans, sighing contentedly. "Where did you learn how to do that, Minho-yah?"
Minho shrugs, though Kibum can't see it. "Years of practice?"
Taemin's smile is deceivingly pleasant as he tips toward Minho and whispers, "What about that e-book you were reading yesterday?"
Minho smirks. "That's between me, you and this lucky thing." His free hand pats his hip where a sliver of thin, black fabric peeks out ever so slightly underneath his jeans.
Taemin's eyes twinkle mischievously as he palms the naked juncture of Kibum's spine and lower back.
"Higher or lower, hyung. We'll go anywhere you want."
the (dirty) end
Comments are ♥
onew/jonghyun; pg-13
4,485 words
Jinki finds his luck in the most unexpected of places. I have no excuse. :| This is just weird and cracky, idk. LUCKY THONGS, AHOY.
Their stylist circles him like a vulture sizing up its prey, pursing her lips and shaking her head every so often, hawk-like gazed fixed on the area between his legs. Jinki sighs to himself; if she didn't trust this woman so much, he would have run for dear life.
"Noona," he says carefully as to not offend. "Is there something wrong?"
"You bet your cute little butt there's something wrong, honey," she says without missing a beat, and Jinki twitches a little. "You have visible panty lines - well, in this case, briefs lines - but I'm sure you get the idea and it's not pretty at all."
"Um," Jinki says, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "I could change into something else?"
"Of course you're changing, I can't let you go onstage in that or it'll you get on the worst-dressed list," she says candidly. "Stay there, Onew-shii. I've got the perfect solution to this dilemma."
Jinki doesn't know what the appropriate reaction is when their stylist comes back with an impossibly small, tight-looking pair of black thongs. Should he be ecstatic and treat it like a press conference where he comes prepared with a rehearsed smile? Or should he outrageously, righteously scream 'what the hell are you thinking?'
As it turns out, the better side, the side that cowered under the face of elder disapproval, wins this fierce internal battle, and all he musters is "W-what?"
"Quickly now." Their stylist wastes no time in ushering him to the dressing quarters, handing him the stretch material and pointedly ignoring his (weak) protests. "Be a man, Onew-shii! Those skinnies won't settle for anything less than this baby," she pauses to to wiggle her eyebrows, "Or should I say anything more?"
"Please tell me the rest of the guys are wearing it, too?" He doesn't think he'll be able to take it if he finds out his members are wearing regular briefs while he's stuck with the flimsy excuse for underwear.
Their stylist chuckles behind the curtain. "Oh, no. And do you want to know why?" Her voice drops to a sly whisper. "Because they all have flat butts!"
"N-noona!" Jinki says, scandalized. He feels a blush creeping to his cheeks.
"Just in case you need it, I have an emergency pack here of five more," she tells him. "They're disposable so just chuck them at the trash bin when you're through with one."
"Oh, no," he groans. He is going to throw those out the moment they get back to the dorm, pronto.
She laughs boisterously. "By the way, Onew-shii, better take care of those. I don't think you'll believe me when I say this, but they have magical powers."
... Okay. Not only does he have to live with four hormonal teenage boys, but now he has to deal with a possibly mental stylist. Great.
"Whenever you wear them, you'll be granted immeasurable luck. And trust me, you need that more than the other boys," she continues with a hint of playfulness even as Jinki holds back a disbelieving snort.
When he steps out, his stylist gives him a once-over before brushing his bangs out of his eyes. "Go out there and give a killer performance," she says, full of affection. "And don't forget, your package is hanging all over your lucky charm!"
For once, Jinki doesn't have the energy to indulge his members when they chide and tease over how much time he spent in the room with their stylist.
"Are you having an affair with the stylist-noona?" Kibum asks, wheedling him with insistent tugs at his shirt. "You're all red and sweaty and we haven't even gone out yet!"
He doesn't have time to tell them his face is red because he itches and it is chafing his skin; an assistant has called them over to tell them they'll be performing in five minutes.
"I think we should all get something for Kibum-hyung," Taemin declares, looking at Minho, Jonghyun and Jinki from his position on the computer chair. The four members had gathered in the work room while Kibum was out in the kitchen making his specialty lunch to plan their birthday gift for the self-declared band mother.
"What does he want?" Minho chimes in, face impassive as ever.
Taemin shrugs, then looks to the other two in the room. "Jinki-hyung? Jjong-hyung? Any ideas?"
"Clothes are good," Jonghyun says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "He's been talking about getting this jacket for ages but he's never had the time to go out and actually buy it."
"Or gadgets!" Jinki blurts. "Like new speakers or headphones."
"Kibum's an only kid, he gets practically everything he wants," Jonghyun laments, leaning back into his seat and exhaling loudly. "Let's just get him a boyfriend. Is Chansung-hyung still available?"
Taemin suddenly lets out a blaring laugh, and even Minho cracks a smile. Jinki is the only one who frowns. "He likes Chansung?"
Jonghyun shrugs carelessly. "Dunno. Kibum generally says nice things about him, and they text a lot. Does that count as 'like'?"
Jinki doesn't know if it's the right time to bring this up, but he supposes that it's now or never. He's always been curious. The whispered secrets, stolen glances, hidden smiles that he could never be privy to - it was eating at him and he wanted to know what they all meant.
"Jjong-ah," he begins hesitantly, "I thought... you and Kibum were - you know." He loops his index and middle fingers together. "That."
Jonghyun stares at him for a long moment, like he's spontaneously grown a second head, before bursting into laughter. "Hyung," he says between wheezes of breath, "You take those UFO fan messages way too seriously."
He is surprised at himself when later at lunch, when Jonghyun kicks Kibum in the shin and Kibum retaliates with a well-placed punch to the arm, he doesn't feel anything but mild relief. He doesn't understand - usually he feels that these things always escalate to something more. And now that he knows they don't, it's like the proverbial weight is lifted off his shoulders. He didn't even know there was weight in the first place.
Just before his and Jonghyun's gift-shopping trip, clad only in a towel wrapped around the waist, he desperately looks for clean underwear in the intimates drawer. So far, all he's managed to see are Minho's monochrome bikini briefs (all in the classic colors of black, blue and the occasional red) and Taemin's cartoon character-filled boy shorts. He's about to scour under Kibum's color-coded pile, when who else but Kibum materializes behind him.
"Hyung," Kibum drawls. "Are you stealing my underwear?"
He jumps about two feet in the air. "K-Kibum! Uh, Err. No," he stammers, turning to face an irate-looking junior. He ruefully rubs the back of his neck. "My pile seems to be - Um."
"Missing?" the other boy says. "I threw them out."
"You - what?! Why?"
"There was an accident - I mixed them in with the colored ones," Kibum admits, his face transforming from mildly irritated to extremely guilty in a matter of seconds. "I'll just tell manager-hyung to bring new ones in your size later. In the meantime you can borrow mine, but you have to wash it yourself!"
Jinki takes a quick glance at Kibum's tight, mauve underwear and gulps. This is a pretty tough choice to make, but - "I have... spares, so there's no need. Thanks anyway, Kibum-ah."
He sighs as Kibum gives him a disbelieving stare. Time to get used to the chafing again.
"Isn't this the best mustache ever?" Jonghyun says emphatically later that afternoon, wrinkling his nose. They're out roaming the Seoul Shopping District in the best disguises they could dig out from under the closet. "I feel so authoritarian!"
"Ri-ight," Jinki draws out, barely holding back giggles. "You always looked more like a leader, Jjong-ah." Jonghyun looked ridiculous in his Hitler mustache and giant bug shades, but he didn't look any better with the sombrero and giant nerd glasses. Taemin and Minho must have rolled around the floor laughing as soon as they left.
Jonghyun looks at him in apparent surprise, before twining an arm around his elbow. "Hyung, don't joke about that. You're the better leader; I'm too spastic to get anything done - oh, hey! Won't Kibum like that shirt?" His gaze flies to a wndow display. The words "DON'T MESS WITH THE PRINCESS" is emblazoned in glittery, rainbow-colored lettering on a neon pink shirt. It was...
"Perfect!" He exclaims, tugging at Jonghyun's arm. "We should get it -"
"Before some other little girl gets to it first?" Jonghyun continues, eyes crinkling. "Just kidding, hyung. Let's go to the gadget store down the block."
They lower their heads as they enter the non-descript establishment, all gray walls and somber atmosphere.
"Hello?" Jinki says, confused. Not everyone could have been out on a snack break, right?
"Weird," Jonghyun mutters in that low bass he used whenever he tried to disguise himself. Jinki has only heard about it from Kibum as he and Jonghyun don't shop together very often. It's strange to hear a not entirely alien and yet unfamiliar tone from the boy he'd been so used to hearing as a tenor.
"I don't really know you, do I?" Jinki says exactly what he's thinking, and Jonghyun peers at him curiously.
"What?"
"I - "
"CONGRATULATIONS!"
"... Bwuh?" Jinki manages, holding up a hand to shield his eyes from the flashing lights. Jonghyun shrieks a little beside him, cutting off the circulation in his upper arm with a death hold.
He is also suddenly, acutely aware of his thong rubbing uncomfortably against his, ahem, family jewels. Just when he was beginning to get used to its presence. Fantastic.
Three uniformed store employees, all girls, have popped out from the behind the counters, clapping with large smiles on their made-up faces. The middle girl points to Jinki and hollers, "You're the 30th costumer for today! Congratulations!"
Again, all Jinki says is "...Bwuh?"
"Today is our first-year anniversary!" Another smiling employee explains. "And because you're the 30th customer, you get -" she pauses for dramatic effect, then spreads her arms as confetti rains down from the ceiling and into Jinki's slightly agape mouth. "A one-year supply of Chicken Breast from our partner store, Chicks and Co.!"
"Oh my god, hyung!" Jonghyun grips his shoulders as the girl hands him a thick wad of gift certificates. "You actually won something!" He does a few giddy skips much like a child in a candy store and tightly embraces Jinki around the waist.
"Aw, how sweet," the last employee cooes, clasping her hands together. "You'd think they won a honeymoon trip."
Jinki wisely chooses to ignore the last bit and concentrates on Jonghyun's flushed, excited face... and the wisp of a mustache falling to the ground.
"Hey, aren't you -"
"...Oops."
Jonghyun grabs his wrist with lightning quick speed as Jinki hurriedly says, "Thank you for the prize, please continue supporting SHINee!"
They break into a run as screams erupt from the store. They hide behind a brick wall on a near-deserted street corner, fingers laced, and Jinki finds himself having second thoughts on their stylist's supposed insanity.
After the not-so-disastrous shopping trip (not so bad, Jonghyun had insisted, because he won something, nevermind that they only had four more days left to buy Kibum a present), the four members gather in the living room at midnight as Kibum is soundly asleep. Jonghyun proceeds to profusely mutter apologies, then excitedly tells the story of how Jinki won a year's supply of chicken breast.
It still sounded strange to Jinki, no matter how much he loved chicken.
"You guys should've seen Jinki-ah's face!" Jonghyun is telling Taemin and Minho animatedly complete with elaborate hand gestures. "His mouth was open like this -" he stretches a hand over his jaw and sticks his tongue out.
"Hyung, I thought confetti was falling from the ceiling, not snow," Minho deadpans, but he can't help the amused smile blossoming on his face.
"Imagine the many ways we can cook it!" Taemin interjects with a dreamy smile.
"Guys, what about Kibum's gift?" Jinki finally says. They were getting way off-topic and it was already hours past Taemin's regular bedtime!
Jonghyun waves a dismissive hand. "Let's just order online. I know this website where you can get designer items super cheap."
"Or," Taemin says, snapping his fingers. "We can do something that'll really surprise him, like cook the day's meals and compose him a song!"
"Cooking is easy," Jonghyun says. " But composing a song in four days? Taeminnie, you're all alone on that one."
"How about a massage?" Minho says.
"Will it be Chansung-hyung doing the massaging?" Jonghyun asks hopefully.
"No," Minho says dryly. "I will."
Jonghyun whistles under his breath while Taemin nods eagerly, turning to both Jonghyun and Jinki. "He's really good!"
Jinki doesn't normally press his fingers on the bridge of his nose, but this time he does it without preamble. He did not want to think about Minho performing massages on Taemin's anywhere right now.
"How about we cook, order online and give a massage?" Jinki suggests, hoping that they somehow reach a consensus soon. He feels an imminent wedgie and didn't want to wriggle uncomfortably in front of his juniors. "I can take care of the cooking, Jonghyun can order online, and you two massage Kibum. Okay?"
Jinki starts to feel like something's up when he and the rest of his members are jogging the next morning.
Jonghyun and Kibum are side by side at the front, debating over whether birkenstock sandals were still considered fashionable or not. These discussions are an essential part of both their personas, Jinki thinks, for it to become an almost regular morning ritual.
"I'm telling you, they're practical, sturdy and comfortable," Jonghyun argues. "What isn't fashionable about that?"
"You know nothing about fashion, you neanderthal," Kibum haughtily replies. "You have to sacrifice comfort for beauty! Being in the idol business hasn't taught you anything!"
"Oh, and I suppose you'd prefer to wear 4-inch stilettos then?" Jonghyun sneers, daring Kibum to counter.
Kibum rolls his eyes. "Of course!"
"Hyung!" Taemin chortles, mock-scandalized. He and Minho seem to be getting a kick out of being (mostly) silent peanut gallery.
Jonghyun screams "Princess!" at the top of his lungs. Jinki, who by this time has overtaken Kibum and Jonghyun at the lead, supposes that to be able to run and banter at the same time is like second nature to Jonghyun and Kibum; maybe that's how they perfected the technique of simultaneous song and dance without ever running out of air.
Unexpectedly, he feels his thong, the second one in the pack, scrape a rather sensitive part of him, and he comes to a full stop just behind a crack on the ground.
Kibum rushes past him, but Jonghyun isn't as lucky. He crashes head-first into Jinki's back and falls to the cement with a dull thud. Jinki turns back, utterly horrified. "Jjong-ah, are you okay? I'm so sorry -"
"O-ow," Jonghyun cringes, rubbing his hip. "I'm okay, just - ow - help me up, hyung."
Jinki hoists Jonghyun up by the arm, noting how incredibly warm and light the other was. Not the right time, Jinki, he reprimands himself as he and a slightly limping Jonghyun catch up to the other three waiting a good distance ahead.
"So," Kibum gloats to Jonghyun back in their apartment as Jinki gently guides him to the couch. "Who's the princess now?"
Jonghyun sniffs loudly, but Jinki sees the unmistakable tint of red on his cheeks when he murmurs apologies into his ear.
On an early morning two days before Kibum's birthday, Jinki and Jonghyun are picked to represent SHINee on a KBS pilot, an experimental show aimed at the teen market. Every week, three teams composed of two members from the current idol groups were to compete against each other in "Can You Guess That Line" sort of singing competition. Sounded easy enough for all the teams involved, who, aside from the two of them, were Jokwon and Changmin from 2AM, and Hongki and Jonghun from F.T. Island.
The catch is that one of them had to be in drag the entire time. Jokwon flips a hand airily and announces that he has no problem wearing women's clothing (Changmin wisely decided to keep mum on this), so when he lost to Changmin after five rounds rounds of rock-paper-scissors, nobody was surprised. Jonghun and Hongki had looked at each other nervously, but Hongki eventually lost after a long fifth round.
As for the last team - Jonghyun lost spectacularly after only three quick rounds, much to Jinki's outright surprise. He's surprised he managed so well despite being on the verge of yet another situation down under.
"I'm starting to actually believe this thing is lucky," he mumbles to himself. Jonghyun, dressed in a pearl white dress not unlike a wedding gown, furrows his eyebrows at him.
"What are you muttering to yourself for?" Jonghyun grouses, crossing his arms in front of his padded chest. "You're not the one stuck in the stupid dress for three freaking hours."
The taping starts without a hitch, and Jonghyun and Jinki advance into the championship round after a close fight with Jokwon and Changmin.
"Jonghyun-shii and Onew-shii of SHINee," the rotund host begins, reading smoothly off his cue cards. "For the final round, your categories are 'Trot' and 'English Ballads.' Choose wisely! 2 million won to donate to your favorite charities is on the line!'
Jinki grins; this is going to be easy. Of course he's going to pick -
"English ballads, please, Jung-shii," Jonghyun says.
Jinki turns to Jonghyun and mouths a silent, outraged 'what?!'
"Don't worry, Jinki-ah," Jonghyun reassures him with a genial pat on the arm. "I listen to all kinds of English ballads on my ipod. There is no way I wouldn't know anything he throws at us."
"And your song is -" The host turns to the screen behind them. "'I have nothing' by Whitney Houston!"
Jonghyun tenses. "... Except that."
Jinki only blinks. He actually knows this song. He can't fathom how or why, but he knows it. "Jonghyun," he says, and it's his turn to clasp the other boy's hand. "I've got this."
They return home later to loud cheers, hugs (Minho and Taemin) and affectionate jeers (Kibum). Jinki watches in amusement as Jonghyun swats Kibum's hands away.
"You're such a bitch, Jjong," Kibum says, but his voice is warm. "Especially during the part where you made googly eyes at Jinki." He proceeds to demonstrate said googly eyes, batting his eyelashes at Jinki and singing "I have nothing if I don't have you" in perfect falsetto. At some point in Kibum's 'impersonation,' Minho is persuaded to join in, and he spins Kibum around twice before dipping him.
"Oh, Jinki!" Kibum swoons in Minho's arms.
"Cut that out! I did no such thing, you ass."
Kibum practically bursts at the seams with peals of hearty laughter. "Yeah, right." He turns to Jinki and tut-tuts. "Watch out, hyung. Jonghyun's out to get your goods."
"That's it! I'm out of here and off to bed," Jonghyun declares, crossing the hall to their room and banging it shut.
"Somebody's menstruating," Kibum says after the awkward silence filled in for Jonghyun's sudden absence. "Well, who wants dinner? Jinki-hyung?"
Jinki is too busy staring at the door to their room to notice.
There is no doubt on Jinki's mind that something is amiss the next day. Aside from the fact that he's on his fourth pair of thongs, Jonghyun has been avoiding him since last night's little teasing incident.
He can think of two reasons why his stack of new underwear hadn't arrived yet: one, Kibum enjoyed seeing him suffer the indignity of thongs - he was always 'checking' Jinki's backside for lint and dirt; two, their manager acquired a case of retrograde amnesia as Kibum swore left and right that he texted their manager multiple times.
He can only think of one reason why Jonghyun has been taking enormous steps to avoid him: Jonghyun is fed up with him and his overflowing well of failure.
He should be used to it, people giving up on him, and he is to some degree. But it didn't have to hurt this much. Especially when for all he knew, Jonghyun is just sick with the flu and didn't want to infect him.
"... Right, keep telling yourself that and maybe it'll come true," he thinks. Jonghyun had been playing video games with Taemin and going over music sheets with Minho the entire day. He even had time to bicker with Kibum over breakfast. The only time he and Jinki breathed within five feet of each other, he was armed with an excuse.
"Jjong-ah, want to do stretches with me?"
"I have to take a shower. Sorry, hyung."
"Oh, okay. Have you ordered Kibum's present yet?"
"Done."
"When is it arriving?"
"Tomorrow morning."
"Um."
"What?"
"... Nothing."
This isn't right. Just a day before Kibum's birthday and internal conflicts arise? As leader, it was embarrassing that he let it happen, and even more pathetic that caused it. Lying on his bed and staring up at the dark ceiling, he wanted to curl up into a fetal ball and expire. How was he going to fix this if Jonghyun didn't want to be near him, much less talk to him?
A sudden flash of bright, white light startles Jinki into sitting up. Jonghyun is standing by the door with a hand on the flip switch.
"Minho-yah, have you seen my -" Jonghyun freezes at the sight of Jinki. "Oh. Hyung. I'll just go, sorry."
'No, wait!" Jinki says, leaping out of the bed and rushing in front of the smaller boy, cornering him with two arms placed on either side of his head. "We need to talk."
Jonghyun is stunned, to say the least. However, he quickly masks it into an expression of indifference. "We have nothing to talk about. Can you step aside?"
"No, I won't. Not until you listen to me." Jinki himself is surprised at his rare show of dominance. "Jonghyun-ah. Jonghyun. I'm sorry. Whatever it is I did, I'm sorry." Jinki's eyes soften, and his arms drop.
"I tried," Jonghyun answers. "I tried, hyung. I really tried."
Jinki is momentarily confused. "Tried what?" Forgiving him? And Jonghyun can't, no matter how much he tried? He doesn't know what he did exactly, but he's willing to surrender himself and put up a white flag just so everything will go back to the way it was.
"I - I want to propose a truce," he says, fiddling with his hands. "Kibum's birthday is tomorrow and I don't think he wants to see us like this."
Jonghyun isn't looking at him, but he's shaking his head. "I tried. But I still don't understand why -"
"Why?" Jinki prods. Try as he might, he still doesn't get what Jonghyun is trying to say. It's as if he's in another realm, the way he sounded.
"I'm weird around you," Jonghyun finally says, hollow and about to crack. Jinki has never heard him like this, with panic creeping up and taking hold of every word, every lilt. "I trip, I fall, I lose." His voice drops, sad and low and still so sweet to Jinki's ears. "I'm not used to losing."
Oh. Oh.
And just like that, a heavy, crushing weight is suddenly lifted off his chest. He knows now; it's like the murky glass is wiped clean from beneath him, and he catches his breath just in time.
Jinki doesn't say anything but takes him in his arms, inhaling deeply. He's oddly pleased to find that Jonghyun, feisty and fiery and aggressive, takes a long time to yield, but when he does, it's exhilarating and just right.
"Don't you hear what Taemin and Kibum are saying?" Jonghyun murmurs into his shoulder. "They said your condition's passed on to me. You're suddenly the lucky one in this group. How about that?"
Jinki chuckles and plants a ghost of a kiss on Jonghyun's neck. "It's not so bad to lose sometimes." He pulls back, smiling tenderly at the other boy.
Jonghyun's hand is on his neck, pulling him gently, closer and closer until their foreheads touch. "I guess it's not so bad when I have you as consolation prize."
Kibum, with a box of new underwear in tow, catches them making out in the living room. He looks torn between amusement and exasperation as he dumps the box in front of them with a hand on his hip.
"It's my birthday and you two are being disgusting," he says, as if talking to himself. "What'll I do with the both of you?"
Jonghyun unwinds himself from Jinki's arms to glare at Kibum. "I bought you a designer jacket and Jinki cooked for you. The least you could do is give us some privacy!"
Kibum rolls his eyes. "Fine, whatever. Have fun unraveling the wonders inside Jinki-hyung's thong."
Jonghyun's eyes bug out of his head. "Thong?" He turns to Jinki with undisguised desperation. "Please tell me you're in a thong."
"Uh, no," Jinki says slowly, ignoring Jonghyun's anguished wail. "I kinda threw it away."
Except for one, and he doesn't bother to know or care where that particular one had gone. Lucky charms were overrated, really, when all the luck he needed was right under his nose.
EPILOGUE:
Taemin and Minho are giving the birthday boy the best massage of his life, and he rightly tells them so after Minho hits a sweet spot on his left shoulder blade.
"Mm, that feels good," Kibum moans, sighing contentedly. "Where did you learn how to do that, Minho-yah?"
Minho shrugs, though Kibum can't see it. "Years of practice?"
Taemin's smile is deceivingly pleasant as he tips toward Minho and whispers, "What about that e-book you were reading yesterday?"
Minho smirks. "That's between me, you and this lucky thing." His free hand pats his hip where a sliver of thin, black fabric peeks out ever so slightly underneath his jeans.
Taemin's eyes twinkle mischievously as he palms the naked juncture of Kibum's spine and lower back.
"Higher or lower, hyung. We'll go anywhere you want."
the (dirty) end
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