stars don't shine alone; [donghae/kyuhyun]
stars don't shine alone (1/3)
donghae/kyuhyun; pg-13 (rating will climb later)
4,377 words
Summary: AU. In a world where Super Junior doesn't exist, Kyuhyun is a lonely star, and Donghae is an ordinary guy. And as they are both about to find out, falling for a star always has its consequences.
He was discovered as a sixteen-year-old. It was a story the whole country knew. He narrated it in various interviews and radio shows, though it seemed that not everybody was inclined to believe him. After all, there was a one in a million chance that anybody would be scouted while literally walking on the street - it just didn't happen. Old men didn't go up to young boys for anything other than propositioning. Some people suspected that it was a publicity stunt the company cooked up in order to drum up the buzz on its new group.
True, there were a lot of lies the company fed the press - fake girlfriends (only one way back in middle school), fake fights (most of the time he and his members lived together in domestic bliss, boring as that sounded), fake facts (he did not play video games to honor a dead cousin's memory). But the story of his discovery held no embellishments when he tells it to the press, and he remembers quite clearly that it went like this:
On his walk home from school with a Gameboy in hand, neatly attired in his school uniform, glasses perched on his nose, he made an unplanned detour and headed towards the park. Here, an old man had tapped him on the shoulder. Dressed in a stiff suit and crow's feet etched on the corner of his eyelids, his face looked grim as he stared him in the eye.
"Sing that again," he told him.
"What?" He decided that the old man must have been a little bit delusional, because he looked to be on the verge of tears.
"That song - that song you were singing."
He furrowed his brows in suspicion, wavering between running away or kneeing him in the crotch. The old man then looked at him with so much raw emotion that he lowered his Game Boy, cleared his throat and began to sing softly. It was just a random tune he'd heard the other day at the mall and it got stuck in his head. He couldn't look the old man in the eye while he sang, but he could see that he was very still, as if frozen in place.
"That was very beautiful," the old man said softly after he finished. "With that voice, you can go pro, boy."
This was not the first time someone had told him the very same thing. His parents, for one, forced him to sing at relatives' parties and anniversaries. When he went to karaoke with his friends, they would beg him in hushed voices to sing songs dedicated to their girlfriends. He never had formal training, nor did he ever invest time and effort into his singing - it just happened. It was a hobby and nothing more.
The old man was Lee Soo Man, and after that incident everything went by in a blur. Before he knew it, he had signed a contract, had gone into vocal training and was slated to debut in a balladeer group with two other boys. Life was good for a while, but then he weighed all the pros (singing, performing in front of thousands of cheering fans, free clothes and food, endorsement deals, living with two people he loved and trusted) against the cons (lack of privacy, paparazzi bustling outside their car windows, plastic smiles, fucked up relationships, living away from his family, living with two people who, while he loved, also drove him up the wall), and began to reconsider.
He was twenty-one, one-third of a successful trio of balladeers and he was unhappy.
He was "discovered" as a nineteen-year-old. In reality, he discovered himself, because he'd always known he had a penchant for kids. If anybody asked, though, the official story was this (because telling everyone that he'd known it himself was like a cop-out; there had to be oomph in the story).
As a university sophomore, he had taken a part-time job teaching dance to underprivileged kids in a local orphanage. It certainly beat being a barista at some coffee shop (everybody wanted to be a barista and he wanted to be cool and go against the flow) or waiting tables at some diner (where customers had license to grope you on the ass).
In university he was a member of the nationally-renowned street dance team, and their alumni went on to become professional choreographers overseas or back-up dancers for foreign artists. When word spread that he was looking for a part-time job, his smart-ass best friend Hyukjae suggested that he apply at a local strip joint, which he had brushed off with a well-timed punch to the offending friend's stomach. After a month of looking with no success, he was about to seriously reconsider when the heavens opened up for him in the form of a flyer - "WANTED - DANCE INSTRUCTOR FOR KIDS".
It was how he found himself a semester later with a shifting form to the Department of Education.
"Are you crazy?" Hyukjae hissed, clutching at his arm as he filled out the form. "Why give up engineering to teach a bunch of diaper-clad brats? Can't you see the millions of won flying right out the window?"
"Shut up, Hyuk, I'm trying to concentrate."
Hyukjae moaned dramatically. "Oh, god. I really should've forced you to apply as a stripper."
He smiled as he signed the dotted line with a flourish. "Trust me. I know what I'm doing."
Actually, It wasn't hard to come to the decision. He knew for certain that this was what he wanted to do his whole life when on his birthday, his charges surprised him with a haphazardly baked birthday cake and cards with squiggly crayon greetings.
"You didn't have to, guys," he said, hands shaking as he read the first card. A smiley stick figure surrounded by several smaller figures was encased in a giant red heart. On the other side was a thick blue crayon scrawl - "Happy Birthday, hyung!" It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
"But we wanted to!" One insisted, and the others chorused in agreement. "We love you, hyung!"
The kids all hugged him in turn, burying their faces in his sides, his stomach, his chest. He wanted to hold them all and never let go.
It was seriously the best birthday he'd ever had, better than the wild dorm party Hyukjae and Sungmin threw for him a few days ago, better than last year where he'd spent it in some fancy restaurant with his then girlfriend. The only one that could rival it was his birthday the year before his dad died.
After graduation, he found a job as a junior teacher at a pre-school. He had a great boss - Park "Leeteuk" Jungsu, who was mild-mannered, soft-spoken and obviously adored children, and a great co-teacher - Kim Kibum, who liked to keep to himself and read books in their free time, but indulged him anyway when he stole food from his lunch box or cracked a joke. During weekends, he taught dance to a new batch of kids at the orphanage. He leased an apartment in a reputable building just a few blocks away from Hyukjae and Sungmin's shared apartment. Sometimes he went drinking and clubbing with his old university friends. Sometimes he brought a girl or a guy home, though he never let anyone stay for morning afters.
He was twenty-three, a preschool teacher, and life couldn't get any better.
"Kyuhyunnie," Ryeowook murmured into his ear, shaking his shoulders, "time to wake up. Kyuhyunnie. Kyuhyunnie."
Someone hit him none too gently on the side. "Get your ass out of bed, sleeping beauty. We have a meeting."
"Ow, fuck," he mumbled sleepily, rolling over to his back. He rubbed his wrist over his eyes, turning unfocused eyes to his two group mates. "Good morning, Ryeowookie. Good morning, asshole."
Said "asshole" chucked a pillow at his face, which he expertly ducked. "I'm still your hyung, you brat. Have some respect!"
He yawned into his palm, too tired to argue. "Sorry, Yehsung-hyung."
It was a typical morning at the KRY household. Or so it seemed.
Yehsung padded to the door and called over his shoulder, "You two be ready in twenty minutes, tops. I still have to talk to the cleaning lady." With that, he closed the door behind him, leaving Ryeowook and Kyuhyun alone in the room.
Kyuhyun sighed and lay back on the headboard. "I don't wanna get up," he said tiredly, throwing an arm over his eyes.
Ryeowook's eyes softened. He inched closer and cradled the younger boy's head in his chest. When Kyuhyun didn't pull back, he tightened his grip, sliding an arm around Kyuhyun's waist and letting his tears soak his shirt.
"I just - I don't know what the hell I did wrong," Kyuhyun whispered harshly into the thin fabric of Ryeowook's night shirt. "I did everything to make it work, Ryeowookie. Everything. It didn't matter to me that he was so far away. That's what planes and phones are for, right? Right?"
Ryeowook didn't answer. He only held him as he cried unabashedly. For the first time in a long time, he let wave after wave of emotion pour out of him. The songs they sang, the feelings they carried through their songs - they all didn't measure up to the hurt he felt. If he could only turn it into song, then everyone in the world would feel his feelings resonating in them, would cry with him. He would cry with him. But that was impossible now, because he was miles away, in distance and in heart.
He didn't notice even as another pair of arms encircled him.
"You crybaby," Yehsung said gently, stroking his hair, "if you want, I'll tell manager-hyung that we're never having another Chinese tour again."
He let out a half-choking, half-gurgling laugh, reddened eyes and trembling hands and all. He knew there was a reason why he decided to stay in KRY despite the sleepless nights and the constant invasion of privacy. In the fleeting world of show business, where they were constantly barraged with half-truths and fickle adoration, all they had were each other.
"Oh my god, you will never guess what I just won!" Sungmin shrieked excitedly, bouncing on his feet in Donghae's living room carpet.
"I'm almost afraid to ask." Donghae laughed as he set a bowl of chips on the table. "Do I want to know?"
"Of course!" Sungmin replied at the same time Hyukjae said, "No, you don't!" while waving his hands in protest.
Donghae grinned at Sungmin, winking as he popped open a bottle of soju. "Hit me, Minnie. What's your prize?"
Sungmin took a deep breath for dramatic effect, then said, "Three tickets to KRY'S fan meet plus backstage passes! How cool is that? You guys are gonna come with me, right? I mean, it's three tickets and it'd be kinda lame to go by myself," he paused for a breath, then continued, "and it's KRY! Only the cutest trio ever!"
"Girl," Hyukjae mumbled under his breath, shaking his head and downing a good amount of soju in one gulp.
Donghae tilted his head curiously at Sungmin. "KRY? Aren't they like, a ballad group?"
Sungmin threw him a condescending look, and Donghae tried not to feel offended. "You'd know them if you weren't living under a mountain of milk bottles and baby formulas."
"They're a group only old ladies listen to," Hyukjae snapped, rolling his eyes. "You can't blame Hae for not listening to your sissy music."
"I hardly resemble an old lady, thank you very much," Sungmin shot back, hands on his hips. He then turned his attention back to Donghae, who was watching their display with a raised eyebrow and a too amused smile. "You'll come with me, right, Hae? It's on your day off so you won't have an excuse. And if this uncultured swine here," he pointed to an indignantly squawking Hyukjae, "doesn't want to come, then it'll just be the two of us. Like on a date or something."
"Why don't you two just make out on the couch while I go to the bathroom and puke my guts out," Hyukjae said, making gagging noises.
Donghae pounded Hyukjae's back, smirking when it elicited actual gagging from the other boy.
"So, will you come?" Sungmin looked at Donghae expectantly. "You will, right? I promise it's gonna be fun! Plus we're meeting actual celebrities! What isn't great about that?"
Donghae didn't think a bunch of balladeers in boring old suits singing boring old melodies were ever his thing, but Sungmin was pouting at him and probably ready to start clawing at his shirt should he decline.
"Yeah, okay, I'll go," he conceded to Sungmin's triumphant whoop of joy and Hyukjae's anguished wail.
"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Yehsung said incredulously to an approaching Kyuhyun and Ryeowook as he peered down at the crowd below. "Do mine eyes deceive or are there actual guys lining up to see us?"
Ryeowook leaned forward to get a better look, and sure enough there were not one, not two but three young men looking out of place in the midst of a frenzied crowd of girls and middle-aged women. Two of them looked to be engaged in a heated argument, while the last one was looking around with an adorably bewildered expression on his face.
"Hyung, men come to our concerts," Kyuhyun said dryly as he spared a sideways glance below, trying to see what got his hyungdeul so worked up. He didn't look for long as the moving crowds made him dizzy.
"Yeah. Really old, married men," Yehsung pointed out. "There they are. They're young and cute. Now that's a real treat."
"You sound like a pervert, hyung," Ryeowook remarked, giggling even as Yehsung shot him a withering glare. "But you're right. They look too hip to actually be listening to the kind of music we make."
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and frowned at the two, but it was wasted as they were still busy trading comments on the kind of men that came to their concerts. If his own group mates underestimated their music, then they'd always be stuck catering to the same demographic and they'd never get to branch out. He told Yehsung and Ryeowook so and prepared to defend his case as they both shot him questioning looks.
"So," Yehsung started, "you want to go electronic? Or make dance music?"
Ryeowook wrinkled his nose. "I'm not great at following choreography."
Kyuhyun heaved a sigh and put fingers on the bridge of his nose. "No, I'm just saying that you guys shouldn't underestimate the music we put out. They can speak to girls, guys and god forbid guys in their twenties --"
He didn't get the chance to elaborate as a PD appeared around the corner and yelled at them to take their places; they can't hold off the crowd much longer.
"What the fuck, Sungmin," Hyukjae grumbled over the soaring music, hurriedly wiping teary eyes on his sleeve. "What the fuck."
Sungmin ignored him in favor of turning to an awestruck Donghae. "Hae, I told you this was fantastic! Isn't it? Isn't it?"
Donghae had long zoned out on his two friends and was listening intently to the three singers on stage, utterly enthralled. Their clear voices reverberated in the hall in perfect harmony, and he had never heard anything like it. He wondered why he'd never heard their music before if they were as popular as Sungmin claimed. Maybe he did live under a mountain of bottles and formulas. And as they all reached for the final note, heads thrown back, he found himself totally caught up and wishing it would never end.
"And that was a rousing rendition of the 'The One I Love,' right, folks?" the emcee said after, which prompted feverish cheers from the crowd at large, including Sungmin, who screamed Donghae and Hyukjae's eardrums off.
"They're good, right?" Sungmin said after the screaming had died down and the three went backstage. "And they're super cute!"
Donghae had to nod. "Yeah. Dunno about the cute part, though." Well, not really. That one singer was pretty cute. Not bad at all.
Hyukjae stuck his tongue out at Sungmin. "See? Hae isn't going to fall for your pansy-ass music."
"You were crying, I saw you!" Sungmin exclaimed, thwacking Hyukjae on the chest.
"Singing solo for 'Just You,' here is maknae Cho Kyuhyun!" The peripheral lights dimmed as a lone spotlight shone on the cute one - Kyuhyun, Donghae's mind helpfully supplied - as he walked to the stage, waving to the roaring crowd. He looked thin without the stuffy-looking suit, but he looked much, much better in casual clothes, Donghae decided.
Kyuhyun took center stage, lifted the mic to his lips and began to sing.
Just love me once, don't forget. For a moment, give me your time, just only that.
Donghae held his breath. Kyuhyun's voice swung like a pendulum in his mind. True to the song's command, he found himself falling in love.
"I'm so beat," Kyuhyun groaned, plopping down on the couch unceremoniously and into Ryeowook's waiting arms. "Can we go home now?"
Fan meets always zapped a lot of energy out of him. He was a bit weak and sickly to begin with, and the company still loved to overwork them all to death. He couldn't imagine what their sunbae, the song-and-dance groups, had to go through. At least they didn't live on energy drinks and power bars, but even that was a only a minor comfort.
"Just a little more, Kyuhyunnie," Ryeowook said consolingly, rubbing his back. "We still have to meet some fans."
Oh. He'd almost forgotten that management arranged a contest for an exclusive backstage meet-and-greet. If he was any younger and any less mature, he'd have thrown a tantrum. As much as humanly possible, he did not want to deal with rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth fangirls jumping his bones, but management just loved to make their lives that much harder.
"If I threaten them with ice picks after ten minutes, I won't be held liable," he bluntly told Yehsung as the older man sat down next to him.
"Then let's all be thankful there aren't any sharp objects in the vicinity," Yehsung retorted, sitting back.
He crossed his arms over his chest. "I have hairpins. Stylist-noona obviously supports me in my quest for world domination --"
"Death by hairpin is hardly super-villain material, Kyu," Ryeowook said, laughing as Kyuhyun moved to tickle his neck in retaliation.
"You two, settle down," Yehsung abruptly ordered as they all heard the heavy sound of footsteps, surprisingly without the usual crazy screaming. "They're coming."
Needless to say, there were varied reactions when the three winners entered the room.
Yehsung's jaw dropped. "Wow. Just. Wow."
Ryeowook jerked back in mild surprise before approaching the three and shaking their hands.
Kyuhyun squirmed uncomfortably at one in particular, who seemed to be gaping exclusively at his direction.
... Well, it helped that Mister Blowfish, termed by Kyuhyun for the uncanny resemblance to said type of fish, was kind of good-looking. But really, did he have to look at him like that? Girls looking at him like a piece of meat in a butcher shop he could deal with, but a guy? Zhou Mi was the only man who ever got away with it, and this one reminded him too much of the way he used to look at him.
Kyuhyun scowled and looked away as he felt a blush start below his collar.
"What do you guys like to do in your spare time?" Sungmin asked, giddily bouncing in his seat and talking a mile a minute. "Do you like to go drinking and clubbing, too? Because we do that a lot. Or do you guys go to karaoke? How do you manage to escape from the paps? Are you guys allowed to eat chocolate or drink cold water?" His eyes shone up at them. "I have so many things I want to ask!"
"Please excuse him," Hyukjae said, grasping Sungmin's arm in an effort to calm him down. "He hasn't taken his medicine yet."
Yehsung and Ryeowook laughed, while Kyuhyun remained silent, choosing instead to stare down Mister Blowfish - Donghae, he amended reluctantly (briefly he wondered if he was saying it right; Donghae had stumbled over his own name so many times that Kyuhyun couldn't tell). This appeared to work, as finally Donghae averted his gaze and looked down at his hands.
"When we were trainees, we went out to clubs a lot. Now, not so much," Ryeowook said in reply to one of Sungmin's queries. "We're allowed chocolate and cold drinks, but only in very small amounts. And. Um," he trailed off, glancing at Yehsung.
"How we evade paparazzi depends on the place. We have a karaoke machine back at the apartment, but we rarely use it," Yehsung continued.
"Say something, Hae," Sungmin stage-whispered, elbowing Donghae, who seemed to have gone catatonic according to Hyukjae.
"Oh, um, what?" Donghae said hurriedly, prompting laughs from everyone except Kyuhyun. He ran a hand through his hair and lowered his head in an apologetic bow. "Sorry, I tend to do that. Space out, I mean."
Ryeowook hid his giggles with a hand over his mouth while Yehsung grinned. "Our Kyuhyunnie does that, too. Space out, I mean."
Kyuhyun snorted, crossing his arms. He was aware that he probably didn't seem like a very good sport to the three fans across them, but he didn't have the energy to care. Right now, thoughts of his bed sounded like the most exciting thing of the day.
"Ooh, a space cadet meeting!" Sungmin said, clapping his hands together. He didn't notice Kyuhyun shooting him a dark look and Donghae opening his mouth to protest, only cut off by Yehsung's boisterous laugh.
"Anyway, thank you for coming to our fan meet. We don't get many guys so it's a real pleasant surprise."
"No!" Sungmin gasped, putting a hand over his heart. Both Hyukjae and Donghae rolled their eyes at their friend's theatrics.
"It's true," Ryeowook chimed in. "Between you three and us, we'd love to meet more guy fans. Girls are really tiring to keep up with."
"That's an understatement," Kyuhyun commented wryly. "Girls are like a pack of rabid dogs and we're their meaty bones. It's like zombies, vampires and sea monsters rolled into a tiny body. Not to mention the old women. Ugh, they just smother you in ancient-smelling perfume."
The room fell silent as everyone stared at Kyuhyun in undisguised astonishment.
"What?" he said defensively.
"I think you're right," Donghae piped up, speaking clearly for the first time since they entered. "Girls are scary when they're obsessed."
Kyuhyun blinked at him before flashing a smug smile at everyone else. "See? At least he agrees with me."
Sungmin burst into hearty chuckles. "Kyuhyun-shii, that's because he has a crush on you. Isn't that right, Hae?"
"That was an experience," Yehsung remarked on the ride home later that evening. "I definitely prefer the fanboys over the fangirls."
"Same here," Ryeowook murmured his assent, yawning into Yehsung's shoulder. "How about you, Kyuhyunnie?"
"I don't know," Kyuhyun said after a long moment. He felt himself drifting into the realm of sleep mere minutes after climbing into the van, and he wanted to give in so badly if only Yehsung and Ryeowook weren't buzzing questions into his consciousness.
"That guy who had a crush on you was cute," Ryeowook said absently, lazily poking him on the shoulder. "Even cuter than --"
"Don't say it," Kyuhyun warned, low and slightly threatening. "Don't say his name."
"He's not trying to set you up, maknae," Yehsung said sternly. "Don't be touchy."
"I'm sorry, hyung," he said without feeling as his forehead hit glass, willing sleep to take over.
For the fifth time that night as they walked down the busy Seoul streets, Donghae thumbed the piece of folded paper in his pocket as Sungmin and Hyukjae argued over the "eternal humiliation" Sungmin brought upon all of them.
"I bet Hae won't talk to you for a long ass time," Hyukjae said heatedly. "You embarrassed him in front a huge celebrity!"
"Don't be stupid, Kyuhyun-shii was obviously flattered," Sungmin countered. "Did you see him blushing after? That was one for the cameras, if you ask me."
"Whatever, you know I'm right," Hyukjae said cleverly, turning to Donghae. "Right, Hae?"
"Uh-huh," he replied distractedly, lost in his thoughts.
( "Don't waste the opportunity," Ryeowook whispered in a rush, pushing a torn piece of paper into his open palm. "I don't even know why I'm doing this, but I see something in you and I think you're just what Kyuhyunnie needs."
Donghae glanced down at the paper in his hand and back at Ryeowook. "Why? You don't even know if he'll like me. I think he even kinda hates me."
Ryeowook shook his head, looking up at him with wide, hopeful eyes. "I have a good feeling about you. And don't worry about Kyuhyunnie. He's actually really sweet, but --" he stopped and took a deep breath, "He's been going through a lot lately."
Donghae swallowed nervously. "Um, I don't think --"
Ryeowook folded his hand with a surprising amount of strength, almost enough to crush bone. "Don't disappoint, Donghae-shii.")
As neon lights and street signs flashed in the distance, he wondered about two things: how he'll tell Kibum and Leeteuk of what happened, and if Kyuhyun was still awake.
END PART 1
Expect actual Kyuhae in the next chapter. That's all I'm saying for now. ♥
donghae/kyuhyun; pg-13 (rating will climb later)
4,377 words
Summary: AU. In a world where Super Junior doesn't exist, Kyuhyun is a lonely star, and Donghae is an ordinary guy. And as they are both about to find out, falling for a star always has its consequences.
He was discovered as a sixteen-year-old. It was a story the whole country knew. He narrated it in various interviews and radio shows, though it seemed that not everybody was inclined to believe him. After all, there was a one in a million chance that anybody would be scouted while literally walking on the street - it just didn't happen. Old men didn't go up to young boys for anything other than propositioning. Some people suspected that it was a publicity stunt the company cooked up in order to drum up the buzz on its new group.
True, there were a lot of lies the company fed the press - fake girlfriends (only one way back in middle school), fake fights (most of the time he and his members lived together in domestic bliss, boring as that sounded), fake facts (he did not play video games to honor a dead cousin's memory). But the story of his discovery held no embellishments when he tells it to the press, and he remembers quite clearly that it went like this:
On his walk home from school with a Gameboy in hand, neatly attired in his school uniform, glasses perched on his nose, he made an unplanned detour and headed towards the park. Here, an old man had tapped him on the shoulder. Dressed in a stiff suit and crow's feet etched on the corner of his eyelids, his face looked grim as he stared him in the eye.
"Sing that again," he told him.
"What?" He decided that the old man must have been a little bit delusional, because he looked to be on the verge of tears.
"That song - that song you were singing."
He furrowed his brows in suspicion, wavering between running away or kneeing him in the crotch. The old man then looked at him with so much raw emotion that he lowered his Game Boy, cleared his throat and began to sing softly. It was just a random tune he'd heard the other day at the mall and it got stuck in his head. He couldn't look the old man in the eye while he sang, but he could see that he was very still, as if frozen in place.
"That was very beautiful," the old man said softly after he finished. "With that voice, you can go pro, boy."
This was not the first time someone had told him the very same thing. His parents, for one, forced him to sing at relatives' parties and anniversaries. When he went to karaoke with his friends, they would beg him in hushed voices to sing songs dedicated to their girlfriends. He never had formal training, nor did he ever invest time and effort into his singing - it just happened. It was a hobby and nothing more.
The old man was Lee Soo Man, and after that incident everything went by in a blur. Before he knew it, he had signed a contract, had gone into vocal training and was slated to debut in a balladeer group with two other boys. Life was good for a while, but then he weighed all the pros (singing, performing in front of thousands of cheering fans, free clothes and food, endorsement deals, living with two people he loved and trusted) against the cons (lack of privacy, paparazzi bustling outside their car windows, plastic smiles, fucked up relationships, living away from his family, living with two people who, while he loved, also drove him up the wall), and began to reconsider.
He was twenty-one, one-third of a successful trio of balladeers and he was unhappy.
He was "discovered" as a nineteen-year-old. In reality, he discovered himself, because he'd always known he had a penchant for kids. If anybody asked, though, the official story was this (because telling everyone that he'd known it himself was like a cop-out; there had to be oomph in the story).
As a university sophomore, he had taken a part-time job teaching dance to underprivileged kids in a local orphanage. It certainly beat being a barista at some coffee shop (everybody wanted to be a barista and he wanted to be cool and go against the flow) or waiting tables at some diner (where customers had license to grope you on the ass).
In university he was a member of the nationally-renowned street dance team, and their alumni went on to become professional choreographers overseas or back-up dancers for foreign artists. When word spread that he was looking for a part-time job, his smart-ass best friend Hyukjae suggested that he apply at a local strip joint, which he had brushed off with a well-timed punch to the offending friend's stomach. After a month of looking with no success, he was about to seriously reconsider when the heavens opened up for him in the form of a flyer - "WANTED - DANCE INSTRUCTOR FOR KIDS".
It was how he found himself a semester later with a shifting form to the Department of Education.
"Are you crazy?" Hyukjae hissed, clutching at his arm as he filled out the form. "Why give up engineering to teach a bunch of diaper-clad brats? Can't you see the millions of won flying right out the window?"
"Shut up, Hyuk, I'm trying to concentrate."
Hyukjae moaned dramatically. "Oh, god. I really should've forced you to apply as a stripper."
He smiled as he signed the dotted line with a flourish. "Trust me. I know what I'm doing."
Actually, It wasn't hard to come to the decision. He knew for certain that this was what he wanted to do his whole life when on his birthday, his charges surprised him with a haphazardly baked birthday cake and cards with squiggly crayon greetings.
"You didn't have to, guys," he said, hands shaking as he read the first card. A smiley stick figure surrounded by several smaller figures was encased in a giant red heart. On the other side was a thick blue crayon scrawl - "Happy Birthday, hyung!" It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
"But we wanted to!" One insisted, and the others chorused in agreement. "We love you, hyung!"
The kids all hugged him in turn, burying their faces in his sides, his stomach, his chest. He wanted to hold them all and never let go.
It was seriously the best birthday he'd ever had, better than the wild dorm party Hyukjae and Sungmin threw for him a few days ago, better than last year where he'd spent it in some fancy restaurant with his then girlfriend. The only one that could rival it was his birthday the year before his dad died.
After graduation, he found a job as a junior teacher at a pre-school. He had a great boss - Park "Leeteuk" Jungsu, who was mild-mannered, soft-spoken and obviously adored children, and a great co-teacher - Kim Kibum, who liked to keep to himself and read books in their free time, but indulged him anyway when he stole food from his lunch box or cracked a joke. During weekends, he taught dance to a new batch of kids at the orphanage. He leased an apartment in a reputable building just a few blocks away from Hyukjae and Sungmin's shared apartment. Sometimes he went drinking and clubbing with his old university friends. Sometimes he brought a girl or a guy home, though he never let anyone stay for morning afters.
He was twenty-three, a preschool teacher, and life couldn't get any better.
"Kyuhyunnie," Ryeowook murmured into his ear, shaking his shoulders, "time to wake up. Kyuhyunnie. Kyuhyunnie."
Someone hit him none too gently on the side. "Get your ass out of bed, sleeping beauty. We have a meeting."
"Ow, fuck," he mumbled sleepily, rolling over to his back. He rubbed his wrist over his eyes, turning unfocused eyes to his two group mates. "Good morning, Ryeowookie. Good morning, asshole."
Said "asshole" chucked a pillow at his face, which he expertly ducked. "I'm still your hyung, you brat. Have some respect!"
He yawned into his palm, too tired to argue. "Sorry, Yehsung-hyung."
It was a typical morning at the KRY household. Or so it seemed.
Yehsung padded to the door and called over his shoulder, "You two be ready in twenty minutes, tops. I still have to talk to the cleaning lady." With that, he closed the door behind him, leaving Ryeowook and Kyuhyun alone in the room.
Kyuhyun sighed and lay back on the headboard. "I don't wanna get up," he said tiredly, throwing an arm over his eyes.
Ryeowook's eyes softened. He inched closer and cradled the younger boy's head in his chest. When Kyuhyun didn't pull back, he tightened his grip, sliding an arm around Kyuhyun's waist and letting his tears soak his shirt.
"I just - I don't know what the hell I did wrong," Kyuhyun whispered harshly into the thin fabric of Ryeowook's night shirt. "I did everything to make it work, Ryeowookie. Everything. It didn't matter to me that he was so far away. That's what planes and phones are for, right? Right?"
Ryeowook didn't answer. He only held him as he cried unabashedly. For the first time in a long time, he let wave after wave of emotion pour out of him. The songs they sang, the feelings they carried through their songs - they all didn't measure up to the hurt he felt. If he could only turn it into song, then everyone in the world would feel his feelings resonating in them, would cry with him. He would cry with him. But that was impossible now, because he was miles away, in distance and in heart.
He didn't notice even as another pair of arms encircled him.
"You crybaby," Yehsung said gently, stroking his hair, "if you want, I'll tell manager-hyung that we're never having another Chinese tour again."
He let out a half-choking, half-gurgling laugh, reddened eyes and trembling hands and all. He knew there was a reason why he decided to stay in KRY despite the sleepless nights and the constant invasion of privacy. In the fleeting world of show business, where they were constantly barraged with half-truths and fickle adoration, all they had were each other.
"Oh my god, you will never guess what I just won!" Sungmin shrieked excitedly, bouncing on his feet in Donghae's living room carpet.
"I'm almost afraid to ask." Donghae laughed as he set a bowl of chips on the table. "Do I want to know?"
"Of course!" Sungmin replied at the same time Hyukjae said, "No, you don't!" while waving his hands in protest.
Donghae grinned at Sungmin, winking as he popped open a bottle of soju. "Hit me, Minnie. What's your prize?"
Sungmin took a deep breath for dramatic effect, then said, "Three tickets to KRY'S fan meet plus backstage passes! How cool is that? You guys are gonna come with me, right? I mean, it's three tickets and it'd be kinda lame to go by myself," he paused for a breath, then continued, "and it's KRY! Only the cutest trio ever!"
"Girl," Hyukjae mumbled under his breath, shaking his head and downing a good amount of soju in one gulp.
Donghae tilted his head curiously at Sungmin. "KRY? Aren't they like, a ballad group?"
Sungmin threw him a condescending look, and Donghae tried not to feel offended. "You'd know them if you weren't living under a mountain of milk bottles and baby formulas."
"They're a group only old ladies listen to," Hyukjae snapped, rolling his eyes. "You can't blame Hae for not listening to your sissy music."
"I hardly resemble an old lady, thank you very much," Sungmin shot back, hands on his hips. He then turned his attention back to Donghae, who was watching their display with a raised eyebrow and a too amused smile. "You'll come with me, right, Hae? It's on your day off so you won't have an excuse. And if this uncultured swine here," he pointed to an indignantly squawking Hyukjae, "doesn't want to come, then it'll just be the two of us. Like on a date or something."
"Why don't you two just make out on the couch while I go to the bathroom and puke my guts out," Hyukjae said, making gagging noises.
Donghae pounded Hyukjae's back, smirking when it elicited actual gagging from the other boy.
"So, will you come?" Sungmin looked at Donghae expectantly. "You will, right? I promise it's gonna be fun! Plus we're meeting actual celebrities! What isn't great about that?"
Donghae didn't think a bunch of balladeers in boring old suits singing boring old melodies were ever his thing, but Sungmin was pouting at him and probably ready to start clawing at his shirt should he decline.
"Yeah, okay, I'll go," he conceded to Sungmin's triumphant whoop of joy and Hyukjae's anguished wail.
"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Yehsung said incredulously to an approaching Kyuhyun and Ryeowook as he peered down at the crowd below. "Do mine eyes deceive or are there actual guys lining up to see us?"
Ryeowook leaned forward to get a better look, and sure enough there were not one, not two but three young men looking out of place in the midst of a frenzied crowd of girls and middle-aged women. Two of them looked to be engaged in a heated argument, while the last one was looking around with an adorably bewildered expression on his face.
"Hyung, men come to our concerts," Kyuhyun said dryly as he spared a sideways glance below, trying to see what got his hyungdeul so worked up. He didn't look for long as the moving crowds made him dizzy.
"Yeah. Really old, married men," Yehsung pointed out. "There they are. They're young and cute. Now that's a real treat."
"You sound like a pervert, hyung," Ryeowook remarked, giggling even as Yehsung shot him a withering glare. "But you're right. They look too hip to actually be listening to the kind of music we make."
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and frowned at the two, but it was wasted as they were still busy trading comments on the kind of men that came to their concerts. If his own group mates underestimated their music, then they'd always be stuck catering to the same demographic and they'd never get to branch out. He told Yehsung and Ryeowook so and prepared to defend his case as they both shot him questioning looks.
"So," Yehsung started, "you want to go electronic? Or make dance music?"
Ryeowook wrinkled his nose. "I'm not great at following choreography."
Kyuhyun heaved a sigh and put fingers on the bridge of his nose. "No, I'm just saying that you guys shouldn't underestimate the music we put out. They can speak to girls, guys and god forbid guys in their twenties --"
He didn't get the chance to elaborate as a PD appeared around the corner and yelled at them to take their places; they can't hold off the crowd much longer.
"What the fuck, Sungmin," Hyukjae grumbled over the soaring music, hurriedly wiping teary eyes on his sleeve. "What the fuck."
Sungmin ignored him in favor of turning to an awestruck Donghae. "Hae, I told you this was fantastic! Isn't it? Isn't it?"
Donghae had long zoned out on his two friends and was listening intently to the three singers on stage, utterly enthralled. Their clear voices reverberated in the hall in perfect harmony, and he had never heard anything like it. He wondered why he'd never heard their music before if they were as popular as Sungmin claimed. Maybe he did live under a mountain of bottles and formulas. And as they all reached for the final note, heads thrown back, he found himself totally caught up and wishing it would never end.
"And that was a rousing rendition of the 'The One I Love,' right, folks?" the emcee said after, which prompted feverish cheers from the crowd at large, including Sungmin, who screamed Donghae and Hyukjae's eardrums off.
"They're good, right?" Sungmin said after the screaming had died down and the three went backstage. "And they're super cute!"
Donghae had to nod. "Yeah. Dunno about the cute part, though." Well, not really. That one singer was pretty cute. Not bad at all.
Hyukjae stuck his tongue out at Sungmin. "See? Hae isn't going to fall for your pansy-ass music."
"You were crying, I saw you!" Sungmin exclaimed, thwacking Hyukjae on the chest.
"Singing solo for 'Just You,' here is maknae Cho Kyuhyun!" The peripheral lights dimmed as a lone spotlight shone on the cute one - Kyuhyun, Donghae's mind helpfully supplied - as he walked to the stage, waving to the roaring crowd. He looked thin without the stuffy-looking suit, but he looked much, much better in casual clothes, Donghae decided.
Kyuhyun took center stage, lifted the mic to his lips and began to sing.
Just love me once, don't forget. For a moment, give me your time, just only that.
Donghae held his breath. Kyuhyun's voice swung like a pendulum in his mind. True to the song's command, he found himself falling in love.
"I'm so beat," Kyuhyun groaned, plopping down on the couch unceremoniously and into Ryeowook's waiting arms. "Can we go home now?"
Fan meets always zapped a lot of energy out of him. He was a bit weak and sickly to begin with, and the company still loved to overwork them all to death. He couldn't imagine what their sunbae, the song-and-dance groups, had to go through. At least they didn't live on energy drinks and power bars, but even that was a only a minor comfort.
"Just a little more, Kyuhyunnie," Ryeowook said consolingly, rubbing his back. "We still have to meet some fans."
Oh. He'd almost forgotten that management arranged a contest for an exclusive backstage meet-and-greet. If he was any younger and any less mature, he'd have thrown a tantrum. As much as humanly possible, he did not want to deal with rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth fangirls jumping his bones, but management just loved to make their lives that much harder.
"If I threaten them with ice picks after ten minutes, I won't be held liable," he bluntly told Yehsung as the older man sat down next to him.
"Then let's all be thankful there aren't any sharp objects in the vicinity," Yehsung retorted, sitting back.
He crossed his arms over his chest. "I have hairpins. Stylist-noona obviously supports me in my quest for world domination --"
"Death by hairpin is hardly super-villain material, Kyu," Ryeowook said, laughing as Kyuhyun moved to tickle his neck in retaliation.
"You two, settle down," Yehsung abruptly ordered as they all heard the heavy sound of footsteps, surprisingly without the usual crazy screaming. "They're coming."
Needless to say, there were varied reactions when the three winners entered the room.
Yehsung's jaw dropped. "Wow. Just. Wow."
Ryeowook jerked back in mild surprise before approaching the three and shaking their hands.
Kyuhyun squirmed uncomfortably at one in particular, who seemed to be gaping exclusively at his direction.
... Well, it helped that Mister Blowfish, termed by Kyuhyun for the uncanny resemblance to said type of fish, was kind of good-looking. But really, did he have to look at him like that? Girls looking at him like a piece of meat in a butcher shop he could deal with, but a guy? Zhou Mi was the only man who ever got away with it, and this one reminded him too much of the way he used to look at him.
Kyuhyun scowled and looked away as he felt a blush start below his collar.
"What do you guys like to do in your spare time?" Sungmin asked, giddily bouncing in his seat and talking a mile a minute. "Do you like to go drinking and clubbing, too? Because we do that a lot. Or do you guys go to karaoke? How do you manage to escape from the paps? Are you guys allowed to eat chocolate or drink cold water?" His eyes shone up at them. "I have so many things I want to ask!"
"Please excuse him," Hyukjae said, grasping Sungmin's arm in an effort to calm him down. "He hasn't taken his medicine yet."
Yehsung and Ryeowook laughed, while Kyuhyun remained silent, choosing instead to stare down Mister Blowfish - Donghae, he amended reluctantly (briefly he wondered if he was saying it right; Donghae had stumbled over his own name so many times that Kyuhyun couldn't tell). This appeared to work, as finally Donghae averted his gaze and looked down at his hands.
"When we were trainees, we went out to clubs a lot. Now, not so much," Ryeowook said in reply to one of Sungmin's queries. "We're allowed chocolate and cold drinks, but only in very small amounts. And. Um," he trailed off, glancing at Yehsung.
"How we evade paparazzi depends on the place. We have a karaoke machine back at the apartment, but we rarely use it," Yehsung continued.
"Say something, Hae," Sungmin stage-whispered, elbowing Donghae, who seemed to have gone catatonic according to Hyukjae.
"Oh, um, what?" Donghae said hurriedly, prompting laughs from everyone except Kyuhyun. He ran a hand through his hair and lowered his head in an apologetic bow. "Sorry, I tend to do that. Space out, I mean."
Ryeowook hid his giggles with a hand over his mouth while Yehsung grinned. "Our Kyuhyunnie does that, too. Space out, I mean."
Kyuhyun snorted, crossing his arms. He was aware that he probably didn't seem like a very good sport to the three fans across them, but he didn't have the energy to care. Right now, thoughts of his bed sounded like the most exciting thing of the day.
"Ooh, a space cadet meeting!" Sungmin said, clapping his hands together. He didn't notice Kyuhyun shooting him a dark look and Donghae opening his mouth to protest, only cut off by Yehsung's boisterous laugh.
"Anyway, thank you for coming to our fan meet. We don't get many guys so it's a real pleasant surprise."
"No!" Sungmin gasped, putting a hand over his heart. Both Hyukjae and Donghae rolled their eyes at their friend's theatrics.
"It's true," Ryeowook chimed in. "Between you three and us, we'd love to meet more guy fans. Girls are really tiring to keep up with."
"That's an understatement," Kyuhyun commented wryly. "Girls are like a pack of rabid dogs and we're their meaty bones. It's like zombies, vampires and sea monsters rolled into a tiny body. Not to mention the old women. Ugh, they just smother you in ancient-smelling perfume."
The room fell silent as everyone stared at Kyuhyun in undisguised astonishment.
"What?" he said defensively.
"I think you're right," Donghae piped up, speaking clearly for the first time since they entered. "Girls are scary when they're obsessed."
Kyuhyun blinked at him before flashing a smug smile at everyone else. "See? At least he agrees with me."
Sungmin burst into hearty chuckles. "Kyuhyun-shii, that's because he has a crush on you. Isn't that right, Hae?"
"That was an experience," Yehsung remarked on the ride home later that evening. "I definitely prefer the fanboys over the fangirls."
"Same here," Ryeowook murmured his assent, yawning into Yehsung's shoulder. "How about you, Kyuhyunnie?"
"I don't know," Kyuhyun said after a long moment. He felt himself drifting into the realm of sleep mere minutes after climbing into the van, and he wanted to give in so badly if only Yehsung and Ryeowook weren't buzzing questions into his consciousness.
"That guy who had a crush on you was cute," Ryeowook said absently, lazily poking him on the shoulder. "Even cuter than --"
"Don't say it," Kyuhyun warned, low and slightly threatening. "Don't say his name."
"He's not trying to set you up, maknae," Yehsung said sternly. "Don't be touchy."
"I'm sorry, hyung," he said without feeling as his forehead hit glass, willing sleep to take over.
For the fifth time that night as they walked down the busy Seoul streets, Donghae thumbed the piece of folded paper in his pocket as Sungmin and Hyukjae argued over the "eternal humiliation" Sungmin brought upon all of them.
"I bet Hae won't talk to you for a long ass time," Hyukjae said heatedly. "You embarrassed him in front a huge celebrity!"
"Don't be stupid, Kyuhyun-shii was obviously flattered," Sungmin countered. "Did you see him blushing after? That was one for the cameras, if you ask me."
"Whatever, you know I'm right," Hyukjae said cleverly, turning to Donghae. "Right, Hae?"
"Uh-huh," he replied distractedly, lost in his thoughts.
( "Don't waste the opportunity," Ryeowook whispered in a rush, pushing a torn piece of paper into his open palm. "I don't even know why I'm doing this, but I see something in you and I think you're just what Kyuhyunnie needs."
Donghae glanced down at the paper in his hand and back at Ryeowook. "Why? You don't even know if he'll like me. I think he even kinda hates me."
Ryeowook shook his head, looking up at him with wide, hopeful eyes. "I have a good feeling about you. And don't worry about Kyuhyunnie. He's actually really sweet, but --" he stopped and took a deep breath, "He's been going through a lot lately."
Donghae swallowed nervously. "Um, I don't think --"
Ryeowook folded his hand with a surprising amount of strength, almost enough to crush bone. "Don't disappoint, Donghae-shii.")
As neon lights and street signs flashed in the distance, he wondered about two things: how he'll tell Kibum and Leeteuk of what happened, and if Kyuhyun was still awake.
END PART 1
Expect actual Kyuhae in the next chapter. That's all I'm saying for now. ♥