Comments | i_speak_softly: Thirty-Eighth Theory [Action]

i_speak_softly

Thirty-Eighth Theory [Action]

Feb 23, 2011 12:08

[Before Don goes out this morning, he leaves a note on the kitchen table.]

GONE TO THE SMITHY.
BACK TONIGHT.[Two days ago he was angry with his brothers for being overprotective, but today everything is different. He genuinely wants them to know where he is, because they've all just been reminded how suddenly a person can vanish ( Read more... )

look a giant turtle, inventing things, c: sokka

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[Voice|Filtered 100%] semper_cogitans February 23 2011, 21:30:35 UTC

["In a few days, if you still feel anything, or... or still want to be friends... Call me on the journals." Robert had been obsessing over that for the past two days. Combined with the shock of a recent draft and the pain of knowing Helios was kidnapped, having unspeakably atrocious things done to him by the Malnosso most likely, Robert had hardly been able to do anything other than cry. And drink. For the first time since he'd gone to Luceti.

He was a bit of a mess today. But two days... that counted as "a few", right? Was it too soon? Was he just making an even bigger fool of himself? Robert didn't know... But he knew he needed to speak to Donatello. Because even a heavy alcohol binge while he was holed up in his room crying hadn't erased the feelings. Even hating himself for having them hadn't erased them. Even trying to suppress them as usual by methodically cleaning, cooking, writing, anything other than dwelling on it - it hadn't worked ( ... )

[Voice|Filtered 100%] 1/3 i_speak_softly February 24 2011, 00:45:42 UTC

[It takes Don a few minutes to realize someone is calling him, and when he does, he assumes it's Raph or Leo, furious and waiting to order him home. He sighs and turns away from the deafening blast of the forge.]

[But when he picks up the journal, it isn't Raph or Leo's face in the window. It's Robert, looking anywhere but at the camera and mumbling into his lapels.]

[Don can't make out a word he's saying.]

Robert...? Hold on...

[Voice|Filtered 100%] 2/3 i_speak_softly February 24 2011, 00:48:06 UTC

[He turns back to the forge, taking his time to bank up the fire and make sure it's safe to leave alone for a while. He needs these minutes to think. He wasn't expecting Robert to call so soon (he wasn't expecting him to call at all), and he isn't sure yet what he wants to say.]

[Voice|Filtered 100%] 3/3 i_speak_softly February 24 2011, 00:51:06 UTC

[When the fire is safely banked in the back of the furnace, Don turns away from the noisy machinery, scoops up his journal, and heads into the slightly-quieter other room. One more moment, and he looks down at the book.]

Yes?

Re: [Voice|Filtered 100%] semper_cogitans February 24 2011, 01:00:45 UTC

[That moment where Donatello puts the journal down kind of makes Robert's stomach flip and scrunch in on itself from anxiety. The decision to actually call the turtle hadn't been an easy one to make, and the delay was just making him even more poignantly aware of how uncomfortable he was.

But this would be the worst possible moment to run. Not that Robert hadn't run at the worst possible moment before - but he willed himself this time to stay. To... to face up to this. It was for Donatello's sake, and for the vague little hope that maybe Donatello wouldn't hate him for this.

Still, his first response is a question.]

I-I... d-did I call at a bad time? I apologize, I didn't... [Okay, he was babbling and that had to stop. Robert forces himself to calm down a little. Just a little. His voice is still shaky, quiet; maybe it's obvious how little he slept last night, he doesn't know.]

... I... You told me that... that if I still h-had feelings, to call you. In a few days. [He doesn't know if this is "a few" but ( ... )

[Voice|Filtered 100%] i_speak_softly February 24 2011, 01:58:13 UTC

[Don listens silently while Robert rambles. At the end of it, he's still not sure he understands.]

Robert... what kind of feelings do you have for me?

Re: [Voice|Filtered 100%] semper_cogitans February 24 2011, 02:03:59 UTC

[... He doesn't know?

Robert blinks, taken totally by surprise by that.]

W-Well. Er.

... Romantic ones. A-And just, general positive feelings... I, er, wouldn't want you to misinterpret that as... u-um, as me being shallow or... [Robert stumbles over his own sentence and clams up again.

He forces himself to breathe.]

... I-I understand if, if that makes you angry. I... I just... I just wanted to... ... to let you kn-know that I won't... I won't allow these to influence our... our d-dealings. I... [Robert wants to admit that he's scared. It would've been so much easier to, only a few days ago - to just pour that emotion out at his feet. And in a way that's terrifying; that something so fundamentally terrifying was so easy a little while ago.]

... m-mostly I wanted to... wanted to see if you could still... t-tolerate me.

[Voice|Filtered 100%] i_speak_softly February 24 2011, 02:18:27 UTC

[Tolerate you? He can't stop thinking about you. But he doesn't know what to think about what you just said.]

You're - really interested in me that way?

Re: [Voice|Filtered 100%] semper_cogitans February 24 2011, 02:22:58 UTC

[A sentence like that calls for a ubiquitous answer.

Robert can never give one.]

Y-Yes.

... N-Not that it sh-should mean anything... untoward, of course... certainly you shouldn't h-have to pay any a-attention to it whatsoever if you d-don't wish to a-and...

[Robert clamps down on the urge to ramble on and on. He's actually panting a little from fear.]

Ah... I-I... I'm s-sorry, Donatello. You... You hardly need this, this nuisance from me.

[Voice|Filtered 100%] i_speak_softly February 24 2011, 02:32:36 UTC

[His mind is spinning from what this might mean. He's afraid to accept it, but he finds he's even more afraid to let it go.]

Robert, I - I don't know if I can. But - I could really use a friend right now.

Re: [Voice|Filtered 100%] semper_cogitans February 24 2011, 02:34:44 UTC

[That hurts, but Robert was totally expecting it.]

N-no, it's fine. It's... that's perfectly acceptable. I'm m-more than amicable to the prospect of being... being your friend.

[It's okay if it never goes beyond that. It's just some stupid crush, probably. A stupid crush he should not be having on a person that probably doesn't want anything to do with it.]

I-In fact, that... that was more than I had expected... [And that is true. At least... at least Donatello doesn't hate him.]

[Voice|Filtered 100%] i_speak_softly February 25 2011, 18:08:59 UTC

I have to go finish something now, but I'm glad you called. Can we talk again soon?

Re: [Voice|Filtered 100%] semper_cogitans February 26 2011, 02:36:12 UTC

Ah, yes. Certainly.

I don't want to... k-keep you. [Robert has a lot to think about now. And cry about, perhaps. That rejection is stinging, cutting deep in a way that he hoped it wouldn't...

But the fact that Donatello hasn't totally rejected him is reassuring, to an extent. And it's why Robert doesn't feel as terrible as he thought he would.

Plus Donatello wants to talk again.]

... Please, call me whenever y-you'd like. I'm, er, usually not particularly invested in anything. [A lie, especially right now, but Robert really does want Donatello to talk to him again.]

[Voice|Filtered 100%] i_speak_softly February 26 2011, 02:44:19 UTC

I'll come by when I can. [And before he turns back to the noise of the smithy -] Thank you.

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