[Voice | Filtered 100%]semper_cogitansJune 7 2011, 23:49:46 UTC
(OOC: Figuring that, by now, Robert would have known what happened with Helios... Of course, when he leaves this message, he didn't, but he does by the time Don answers it.)
[Robert spent the last week being terrified that his friends - and his lover - weren't going to come back alive. And so the very first thing he does is leave a single, distressed little message for Don.
Of course, the other Hamatos are free to pick it up as well, if they want.]
[Voice | Filtered 100%]i_speak_softlyJune 9 2011, 01:17:12 UTC
No, it - [Okay. It will take him a long time to say all this, but you'll be patient, right?]
It had been raining all day, more rain than I've ever seen. The journals weren't working, we could barely hear each other face to face, visibility was nothing... and the enemies just kept coming. They overran our base camp. We'd been out there three days already, we'd barely eaten or slept, we had so many injured... By midafternoon I was fighting on autopilot, and after that I don't remember anything until I woke up back in the plaza.
[Voice | Filtered 100%]semper_cogitansJune 9 2011, 01:27:54 UTC
[Robert is patient. He's always patient with Don.
He listens quietly to Don's exposition, comparing it to what he thought would have happened. The idea is... well, it's nightmare-fuel inducing. But it makes him more glad that Don managed to get through.
He wishes he could go over there and hold Don.]
...
I-it... sounds t-terrifying...
... I... [Softly:] If I-I ever get... d-drafted...
[The unspoken implication is that, if they're like this, Robert will die.]
[Voice | Filtered 100%]semper_cogitansJune 9 2011, 16:31:29 UTC
[The idea makes the majority of him recoil violently, especially in the wake of a war, of violence that just took his best friend's life.
But...
... No. He can't think about it, even if that little dark part of him relishes the thought of breaking whatever harmed Helios... even knowing they're dead and gone, now.]
I... I d-don't know...
I c-couldn't; i-it'd... it'd be.... unethical... [Don might notice how Robert's words seem less strong than they were before. And his complaints about the war have been less about the violence and more about the fact that people got hurt or killed.
... Luceti is definitely changing him, and he's almost afraid of it.]
[Voice | Filtered 100%]semper_cogitansJune 9 2011, 18:29:17 UTC
[Hitting something...? WANTING to hit something? That is so fundamentally... un-Terran.
...
He has wanted to, though, for maybe the second or third time in his life. The sheer anger and disgust he feels towards this situation is enough to actually make him contemplate violence - and then, of course, all that anger and disgust turns inward, at the horrifying fact that he could ever possibly think these things at all, could ever possibly consider the idea of harming something ever for any reason.]
...
H-Hitting something...?
...
[Robert shivers.]
I... [The revulsion is so deep-seated that he doesn't even have the words to describe why he can't consider it.]
[Voice | Filtered 100%]i_speak_softlyJune 9 2011, 21:09:03 UTC
[Okay, Robert is distressed enough without Don pushing this issue any further. He's a little worried that Robert doesn't seem to have any outlet for his anger, but then again, maybe anger isn't exactly what he's feeling.]
[Voice | Filtered 100%]semper_cogitansJune 9 2011, 21:40:25 UTC
[It's not just anger, no - it's some complicated blend of emotions, and anger is only the most foreign of them. It's the one he handles the most poorly.
The subject change does help, though.]
... I... I-I suppose whenever you are feeling better...
[It's not like he has much in the way of obligations. He's just been holing himself up building the small hydroponics garden and in general being a recluse.]
[Robert spent the last week being terrified that his friends - and his lover - weren't going to come back alive. And so the very first thing he does is leave a single, distressed little message for Don.
Of course, the other Hamatos are free to pick it up as well, if they want.]
D-Don...
...
Are you... [Healthy? Sane? Safe?] alright?
...
I-I... I missed you...
Reply
R-Rainforests are b-beautiful, yes... [The thought might have made Robert smile at a less horrible time. As it is, he just wipes a tear away.]
... D-Do you think the Malnosso d-deliberately took the v-vials, or do you r-remember losing them...?
Reply
Reply
...
In a-any way...?
Were you that sick...?
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It had been raining all day, more rain than I've ever seen. The journals weren't working, we could barely hear each other face to face, visibility was nothing... and the enemies just kept coming. They overran our base camp. We'd been out there three days already, we'd barely eaten or slept, we had so many injured... By midafternoon I was fighting on autopilot, and after that I don't remember anything until I woke up back in the plaza.
Reply
He listens quietly to Don's exposition, comparing it to what he thought would have happened. The idea is... well, it's nightmare-fuel inducing. But it makes him more glad that Don managed to get through.
He wishes he could go over there and hold Don.]
...
I-it... sounds t-terrifying...
... I... [Softly:] If I-I ever get... d-drafted...
[The unspoken implication is that, if they're like this, Robert will die.]
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Sorry I took so long to answer. I was sleeping it off.
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... I-I am just glad you are... [... not really alright, but...] b-better.
...
I w-wish I... c-could have done something...
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[He's been down this path before. It never leads anywhere good.]
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...
I w-wish I could.
[He presses a hand to his face and tries to steady his breathing.]
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[Very softly:] If you ever want to... learn something... from my family...
[He'll leave it there.]
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But...
... No. He can't think about it, even if that little dark part of him relishes the thought of breaking whatever harmed Helios... even knowing they're dead and gone, now.]
I... I d-don't know...
I c-couldn't; i-it'd... it'd be.... unethical... [Don might notice how Robert's words seem less strong than they were before. And his complaints about the war have been less about the violence and more about the fact that people got hurt or killed.
... Luceti is definitely changing him, and he's almost afraid of it.]
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[Just one more nudge.]
If you just want to hit something, you're welcome to use our training dummy.
[It's a healthy way to vent anger, and Don can't see how anyone could argue that it's immoral to punch a bag of sand.]
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...
He has wanted to, though, for maybe the second or third time in his life. The sheer anger and disgust he feels towards this situation is enough to actually make him contemplate violence - and then, of course, all that anger and disgust turns inward, at the horrifying fact that he could ever possibly think these things at all, could ever possibly consider the idea of harming something ever for any reason.]
...
H-Hitting something...?
...
[Robert shivers.]
I... [The revulsion is so deep-seated that he doesn't even have the words to describe why he can't consider it.]
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[Don drops the subject.]
When can I take you to the lake?
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The subject change does help, though.]
... I... I-I suppose whenever you are feeling better...
[It's not like he has much in the way of obligations. He's just been holing himself up building the small hydroponics garden and in general being a recluse.]
Reply
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