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eska818 August 19 2014, 20:49:07 UTC
I really enjoyed that this scene stood well on its own, even if you haven't read the other entries (or perhaps don't remember them too well). I was also dying of laughter at the descriptions of the characters/people in the beginning. You really aced this scene, it unfolded at a great pace, and the dialogue was hilarious.

(One minor thing of note - in the first sentence, should it be Elven Archer? I noticed it was corrected later in the scene)

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i_17bingo August 20 2014, 10:01:19 UTC
Honestly, I wasn't paying attention, and I wasn't sure until now the difference between "Elvin" and "Elven"; I'm not really into high fantasy and haven't done D&D in over twenty years.

I'm relieved to hear that the standalone aspect worked. The story of Gina is a lot less episodic than the stories of Rafaela, but the last thing I want to do is confuse new/forgetful readers.

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rayaso August 19 2014, 22:30:24 UTC
I loved this! There was so much going on, and I especially loved the descriptive names of the characters. I didn't expect the end, either, which is also good, and I couldn't find an apostrophe out of place. A winner all around.

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i_17bingo August 21 2014, 10:05:35 UTC
I am known among this land as B'ngo the Editor of Professional Status.

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halfshellvenus August 20 2014, 01:03:06 UTC
I'd forgotten the black-eyed children incident, and that it was actually real.

That puts a whole different spin on what seems like an average, tabletop RPG-- when you're from Gina's background.

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i_17bingo August 21 2014, 10:03:00 UTC
I had written a little bit about why she chose to be a warrior dwarf as opposed to a mage herself ("Because dismembering creatures with a disproportionately large ax is much more satisfying."), but I cut it for length.

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shimmerdream August 20 2014, 23:58:24 UTC
I really enjoyed this, especially the difference between their RPG and real life names :)

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i_17bingo August 21 2014, 10:08:50 UTC
Says Shimmerdream the Sleeping Illusion with the Bright Sheen.

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uncawes August 21 2014, 03:41:18 UTC
I love D&D. I especially love when people write stories about D&D.
And this story was right up there.
Excellent read

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i_17bingo August 21 2014, 10:00:30 UTC
I always thought the act of playing was more fun than the game itself.

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