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Comments 24

tonithegreat September 18 2014, 00:52:44 UTC
Mmm, ice cream! I loved this. The length and pacing were particularly nice.

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i_17bingo September 18 2014, 14:07:18 UTC
It is one of my shorter pieces, isn't it?

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penpusher September 18 2014, 12:01:56 UTC
That was a close call!

You have adopted Stephen Sondheim's philosophy... "when there's a waltz, there's trouble!"

Although the first line of the second stanza would fit the waltz 3/4 time perfectly without the "pleases!" But really nicely woven tale, and too many worlds to explore in one room!

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i_17bingo September 25 2014, 03:33:43 UTC
Serious about the waltz? That's pretty (almost) awesome of me!

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bleodswean September 18 2014, 14:36:41 UTC
Yowza!!! What a great parasite! Unsettling to say the very least and your physical description was superb even with your trademark understated humour! Good use of the prompt - we had singing and impromptu songs!

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i_17bingo September 25 2014, 03:37:30 UTC
What's missing is the dancing. Maybe there's a monster somewhere that communicates through interpretative dance... (Actually, now that I think of it, birds do that--I think I might have something there.)

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eternal_ot September 18 2014, 14:53:21 UTC
Yum..All's well that ends with an Ice Cream..;)...creepy in a good way...I liked where it ended. Good job!

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i_17bingo September 25 2014, 03:32:27 UTC
Ice cream fixes everything.

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karmasoup September 18 2014, 22:06:04 UTC
I always find that written lyrics beg to be sung, and often, there's something subconscious about the tune from what I see that seeps into my head, and I end up naturally setting what's written to some established ditty. This first one fits right into "You Are My Sunshine," and the second one flows like it was written for "Frog Went A-Courtin'." I suspect you didn't have those in mind when you wrote this piece, but hearing them hummed in my head made this more fun.

This is simultaneously sorta scary and silly, which is an odd mix. I wonder now if Jin is still inclined to leave his mum, or if he now feels he has to stay home and protect her. Cute piece!

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i_17bingo September 25 2014, 03:48:04 UTC
You know, I don't know anything about music; I just measure rhyme and meter and hope imagination fills in the rest. I like the idea of someone holding off a monster with those kinds of songs ("Curses! My malevolent evil cannot withstand the righteous power of 'Turkey in the Straw'!")

This is a prequel to a number of my other stories this season, so he did ultimately decide that whatever will be will be ("Doris Day! My only weakness!") and go on his adventure, where he befriends the strangest person he's ever met...

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