Fic: Forgiveness
“Nobody’s asking anyone to forget, or to forgive. But we’ve got to look to the future …. Mr. Gaeta, commence jump prep. We’re going to the Ionian Nebula.”
Laura stared coldly at Bill and then stalked away, headed for the command console table, clearly unmoved by his words. He followed her resignedly, knowing earning her forgiveness would be a process, but for now they had a mission to complete, a mission that meant everything - to both of them.
“Fleet is reporting in,” Mr. Gaeta announced and then frowned, “Zephyr reports a malfunction in their FTL drive.”
“Well that’s just great,” Laura spat under her breath.
Bill swallowed hard. He knew how pissed she was, and he could not blame her, but he hoped that she would resist unloading on him in public. Not that he looked forward to her private wrath either, but they needed to present a united front to the fleet in the wake of Baltar’s verdict.
“Mr. Gaeta, what’s the Zephyr’s estimate on repairs?” Bill asked hopefully. The distraction of the nebula was the only thing standing between him and a metaphorical airlock.
“Zephyr still assessing the problem, sir, but they report that we’re likely looking at hours here, not minutes,” Gaeta responded, much to the Admiral’s chagrin.
“Very well. Call off the jump.” Bill looked over to Laura apologetically, trying to smile away the disappointment, but she did not smile back.
“It’s been a long day, gentlemen,” Laura announced a moment later, pointedly looking in Helo’s direction as she spoke, “so I’m going to take my leave. Please notify me as soon as we have a rescheduled jump time.”
“Yes ma’am,” Helo answered, nodding to the President before she spun on her heel and departed, never once looking in Bill’s direction.
~ ~ ~
Bill flinched slightly as he entered his quarters, half expecting to be smacked before he had even made it all the way through the hatch. When he realized that there would be no immediate attack, he relaxed a bit and began scanning the room looking for her as he pulled the hatch door shut. The first thing he noticed was her briefcase and overnight bag, both sitting packed and ready to go on his table. This was his worst fear realized. She was leaving, giving up on them. He did not relish suffering her anger tonight in these close quarters, but at least they would still be together, facing her - their - uncertain future as a team.
“So when do we jump?”
Bill flinched again, this time at the ice in Laura’s tone, which carried as much sting as a slap, as he turned toward the couch where she was sitting. “Twelve hours,” he answered, and then added in hopeful denial, “which gives us enough time to get some rest.”
“Good,” Laura replied matter-of-factly, “that’s time enough for me to settle back in onboard Colonial One before returning for the jump.”
Bill regarded her calmly for a moment and then spun the lock to the hatch. “No,” he told her as he did, looking back at her with determination in his eyes. He wasn’t letting her go. She could ignore him, scream at him, hell even smack the shit out of him if she wanted, but leave him, that was the one thing he was not prepared to permit.
“No?” she asked, her eyes widening in astonishment.
“No,” he repeated calmly, dropping his hand from the lock. “Would you like a drink?” he asked after a beat. “I’m guessing we both are going to need one,” he finished with a dry smile.
“You’re a real piece of work, Bill Adama,” she snapped as she shot off the couch and headed for the table, clearly unimpressed by his recourse to humor to defuse the tension. But before she could pick up her bags, Bill had crossed over to her and reached around from behind her to still her hand grasping her briefcase.
“Please don’t leave,” he pleaded softly, crowding her from behind and tightening his grip on her hand.
Laura hunched her shoulders in response and her fingers stiffened beneath his, almost as if he had struck her with his touch. It broke his heart to see her react to him this way, to know that he had hurt her so badly that she’d recoil from his touch. Now more than ever he knew that he could not let her leave. He could not let his betrayal grow like a cancer between them and take her away from him that much sooner.
“I know you don’t agree with my decision about Baltar, and I’m not asking you to forgive me, Laura, only to understand my reasons. But whatever you think of what I’ve done, just please don’t go.” He reached his other hand up to tentatively touch her shoulder, trying to close the gulf between them. “Don’t go,” he whispered into her ear, repeating his entreaty, but she pulled away once more. He tried to reach out to her again. “This is where you belong, Laura, where you should be right now given everything you’re facing.”
“Don’t pity me, Bill. That’s the last thing I want or need,” she replied angrily as she shrugged her shoulders and pushed back against him, forcing him away so that he was no longer touching her.
He didn’t know what to do, other than to finally say aloud all the things that had remained unspoken between them. “I could never pity you, Laura, and I think you know that,” he offered as he returned one hand to her shoulder, drawing encouragement from the fact that she did not resist his touch this time. He took a deep breath. “Just like you know that I didn’t ask you to live here with me just for you.”
Laura sighed at his words and looked down at the table, flexing her two hands above her bags, working out in her mind whether to grab her things and run or to stand and answer him - to stand and fight for whatever was left of whatever the hell it was that was ever between them to begin with.
“I know,” she responded finally, her voice hardly more than a whisper. “This was going to be the one good place, Bill. You were going to be the one good thing …” her voice trailed off, as she choked back her emotion.
“I still can be,” he answered with a squeeze of her shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“No, I’m sure you’re not, at least not until your conscience compels you to leave me. First it was the election, and now this,” she explained, her words laced with a quiet bitterness that shocked him. “I don’t care if I’m in the wrong, Bill, because I don’t have the time or the strength left to chart my course according to the moral compass of the great and noble William Adama, and then endure the consequences. My life is too short for that now.”
“Don’t talk like that,” he pleaded.
“What? Don’t speak the truth? Or is doing the right thing reserved just for you?” This time she did not merely shrug off his touch, as she reached up to her shoulder with her hand and shoved his away.
Bill almost stepped away in shock at the coldness of her response, but he quickly thought better of it and moved closer, crowding her again. He wasn’t going to let her drive him away. If this angry release was what she needed, then he was going to stand and take it.
“You know, Bill,” she continued, letting her frustration flow freely now, “there were so many things I wanted tonight. I wanted to celebrate putting Baltar behind us, and putting Earth ahead of us. I wanted to live a few last hours without any discomfort or exhaustion, before the poison really took hold of my body and never let me go. And yet here I am already tired, already hurting worse than I have in so long, and now I can’t even look at you … my one good thing … heh.”
Her last sarcastic huff cut him worse even than her cruel words, as he watched her shaking her bowed head ruefully. He knew what he wanted to do, as he looked at her, and he didn’t care about the long-term consequences. This time he was going to do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
“Then don’t look at me, Laura … but don’t let that stop you from letting me give you what you need tonight.” With those words still lingering in the air between them, he reached out and gently circled his arms around her waist and pulled her close against him, breathing in the scent of her hair and then leaning forward to lightly kiss her earlobe. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered into her ear.
“Bill,” his name slipped softly from her lips in a confused mixture of objection and encouragement.
“Shhh,” he whispered again, tightening their hug and placing another soft kiss on her ear. “Don’t fight me, Laura,” he urged. “Just let go and enjoy this.”
He lifted one hand away from her waist and stroked her hair, gently lifting it away from her neck so that he could trail kisses all along the length of it. He was rewarded with a brief, quiet moan that he took as permission to continue, which he did, not even caring if he marked her pale skin with evidence of his attention.
Pulling away from her neck at last, and smiling at Laura’s little hum of displeasure as he did, Bill stepped back slightly and reached up to remove her jacket from her shoulders. He dropped it to the ground before removing his own, wanting to hold her in his arms without the stiff gray wool of his dress uniform dulling the sensation of her skin against his. Quickly he wrapped her in his arms again, kissing her neck from behind once more.
“So beautiful,” he sighed as he worked her shirt free from her slacks and reached beneath the fabric to run his hands all along her abdomen and around to her back, exploring her with no particular rhyme or reason to his touch. But as soon as he felt her circle her hips against him, he knew she was ready for more, and he brought his hands together at her front and carefully unbuttoned her slacks, dragging his tongue up the side of her neck as he simultaneously lowered her zipper in countermovement, nipping her earlobe approvingly as she moaned in response.
Bill teased her with his fingers, as he slipped them just beneath the waistband of her panties and lightly tickled the flesh there before circling them around to her rear and dropping his hands fully beneath the fabric to cup the bare skin of her behind. He brought his lips up to her ear, and with a grin and a pinch of his fingers, he revealed exactly what he was thinking. “Nice ass, Madame President.”
Laura giggled in response, but her laughter was interrupted by a gasp as Bill quickly slid one hand back around to her front to cup her sex. Her soft invocation of the gods caught in her throat as Bill gently rubbed his palm against her, frustrating her with his failure to probe her more deeply.
Seemingly satisfied that she was now wet enough, Bill shoved her panties and slacks down from her hips, sliding them to her thighs and then pushing his knee between her legs to spread her slightly. He gripped her around the middle, bracing her against him with one arm, and then he began to tease her with the fingers of his free hand.
“I want to hear you, Laura,” he whispered in her ear as he ran his index finger lazily up and down through her folds. “Tell me what you like.” He smiled against her cheek as he continued his preliminary probing, before suddenly pressing one finger inside her.
“Mmm,” Laura moaned.
“Did you like that?” he asked, feeling her nod against him, her breath hitching with each penetrating thrust. “No tell me,” he insisted, punctuating his demand with an exploratory flick of his thumb across her clit.
“Ye … es,” she answered as she grabbed the arm that braced her with one hand and threw her head back and her other hand up to try to push his head forward and capture his lips with hers.
“No,” he told her as he pulled his head back, preventing her from seeing him. “Just relax and enjoy this. This is for you.” With that he brushed his thumb against her core again, and pushed a second finger inside her.
“Bill,” she sighed.
He chuckled softly as he continued to work her slowly, discovering that her panting grew more intense when he stroked her to the right. Eagerly applying his newfound knowledge, he quickly circled her nub of flesh, pressing down sharply as he passed over the spot of her greatest sensitivity.
“Oh my Gods,” she cried out.
“So you liked that I take it?” he asked proudly, not really expecting a coherent response, as he clutched her closer and pushed yet another finger inside her, endeavoring to bring her to her final release with a series of swift strokes and thrusts.
“Oh … frak … yes,” she breathed as she stiffened against him, digging her nails into his arm.
He felt her quivering against him, and he slowly eased his attentions in order to bring her down from her climax gently. He kissed her neck as he did, murmuring against her skin, unable to fully stem his own excitement. “You feel amazing,” he sighed as she stilled in his arms.
“That was so good,” she gasped after a moment, trying to catch her breath.
“You deserve only good things, Laura,” he answered quietly, placing a last kiss against her neck and hugging her tightly before reaching down to gently lift her pants back over her hips. But before he could button her slacks, she grabbed his hands to stop him and then pushed her hips backward, rubbing herself against his impressive erection, drawing forth a groan from him.
“It seems we’re not finished yet, Bill,” Laura told him as she continued to work her backside against his hardness.
“Laura, I did this for you,” he said quickly, trying to get his words out before he groaned again.
“I know,” she answered softly as she pulled one of his hands up to kiss her lips to it, and then placed it against her cheek, rubbing her thumb along the underside of his palm while she continued to grind herself against him. “But I’d consider this to be as much for me as for you.”
“Laura,” he moaned into her hair, “are you sure?”
“Yes, but only on one condition,” she answered as she kissed his palm again.
“Anything,” he gasped, his hips jerking as she shifted the direction of her movements against him. Hearing her giggling softly, he bit his lip to bring himself back under control long enough to make at least a little bit of sense. “What is your condition?” he asked as he tightened her grip around her to still her maddening movements.
“That you let me look at you as you make love to me.” A few tears escaped her eyes as she spoke, trailing down onto his hand, which she still held against her cheek.
His heart raced at her words, filling with more promise than he’d felt in so long. Cancer, Baltar, the Cylons all felt so very far away in this moment. He slowly spun her in his arms and smiled when they finally looked each other in the eyes. “I accept your condition,” he said softly as he leaned into kiss her.
Their kiss quickly turned urgent, and he lifted her in his arms and set her on the edge of the table, pulling away long enough to push her bags to the floor, grinning at her soft giggles, and then lift her a few inches again to ease her slacks and panties back off her hips, before diving at her mouth again and kissing her passionately as he settled her in a comfortable position on the table. Once he had her arranged and ready for him, he broke their kiss again and stepped back to look at her.
“You are so beautiful,” he told her, thrilling at her blushing smile. He pulled his tanks over his head and then knelt down, slowly slipping her pants down her legs, leaving a trail of slow, aching kisses along her creamy skin as he did.
“Bill,” she moaned at his touch, as she unbuttoned her shirt and unclasped her bra.
His attention was easily captured by the sight of the bra falling to the ground beside him, and he sprung quickly to his feet. He leered at her hungrily as he drank in the view of her naked before him.
“Still beautiful?” Laura asked with an arch of her brow and a wicked smile blooming on her lips.
“More than I ever imagined,” he answered with a lusty smile of his own.
“Oh, you imagined this did you?” she teased.
“Frequently,” he replied with an honest chuckle.
“Well then I’d stop wasting time if I were you,” she suggested.
He hardly needed the encouragement as he quickly kicked off his boots and yanked his pants down and off his legs. He stood in front of her and beamed with pride as her eyes grew wide at the sight of him. “Meets expectations I hope?” he asked with a teasing chuckle.
She nodded, and then she quickly leaned forward and grasped his bobbing cock, pulling him gently towards her as he gasped. “But I’ll reserve final judgment until I’ve had a chance to grade performance,” she told him as she stroked him lightly.
“I’ve never frakked a teacher before,” he laughed between groans, “but I guess I should have seen that caveat coming,” he finished before quickly slipping out of her grip and shoving himself between her legs, pulling her flush against him.
She slapped him lightly on the shoulder, giggling as she wrapped her legs around him and then leaned up for a kiss. But she quickly gasped into his mouth as she felt him run the tip of his cock through her folds. Leaning back, she shifted to provide him easier access and then nodded as she looked into his eyes, realizing that he was waiting for her final permission.
Bill pushed gently inside her, taking his time so that she could adjust to him, pacing himself by the look in her eyes and the thrum in her throat. She felt unbelievably good - hot and wet and tight. When he was finally buried inside her to his hilt, he reached in for a passionate kiss as he lifted her against him, trying to find his way in just a little deeper. When he was satisfied that they could never be closer, he set her down and then began to slowly move in and out of her.
Laura lay back against the cool, hard wood of the table, her eyes lolling and her breath hitching in time with Bill’s thrusts. He felt so good inside her, filling her over and over.
Bill watched her reverently, as she slid back and forth on the slick surface of the table, moving at his rhythm. As he steadied her with one hand on her hip, he reached down and caressed her chest with the other, exploring her breasts, forcing from his mind as he did the notion that these soft, beautiful mounds of flesh were going to take her from him. “Laura,” he sighed.
“Bill,” she answered him with a moan, tightening the grip around his waist with her legs. “Harder,” she begged.
She need not have asked in words, for the feel of her muscles clenching around him drove him to his limit, as he brought his other hand to her hip to steady her further as he began to pound forcefully into her, the sound of his skin slapping against her intermittently broken by a mix of their groans and gasps.
Knowing he was about to come, he ran his fingers quickly across her sex as he called her name urgently. At his touch, she arched her back up and shouted to the gods.
Feeling her pulse around him, he held off just long enough to pull her up into his arms and kiss her as he jerked his hips against her in one last powerful thrust, spilling into her as he cried her name into his shoulder.
He held her tightly to him as he tried to catch his breath, feeling her heart pounding against his. As his breathing evened, he kissed her softly, and she eagerly returned his touch, melting into his embrace.
“I forgive you,” she whispered into his ear as she pulled away.
Bill smiled at her words, pulling her close again, and then he asked her for the one thing that he wanted more than her absolution. “Then promise me you’ll never leave.”
The End!