The real threat:
I think MI5 has it all wrong. Bombs? Psh. Bombs are so last year.
This is the real threat, people.
Motha...
...fuckin'...
...snakes.
Yes, people. Snakes. They're long. They're scary. They have big fucking fangs. They escape from New York/LA. Most people are scared of these things (and with good reason). Yet, most of these people know little to none about these elusive creatures. Here's a short list of facts about snakes. Read it. It could save your life.
1) Snakes are color-blind.
2) Snakes have no bones. (What we think are bones are actually made of hardened steel and granite.)
3) Snakes can't feel pain.
4) Snakes have no souls.
5) Snakes commonly inhabit planes.
6) The only known enemies of snakes are Metal Gears and Samuel L. Jacksons.
7) Snakes can disguise themselves as human beings.
The only real indication that a person is actually a snake in disguise is its lack of fingers, toes, ears, arms, legs, clothes, and/or hair.
8) Snakes don't like Star Wars, Christmas, or Swedish Fish.
9) Snakes, not Jews, are responsible for all of the wars in the world.
10) Snakes don't know how to love.
Just keep these simple facts in mind and be on the lookout, people. Snakes can and if given the opportunity, will fuck you up big-time.
Very sneaky, Mr.Snake...very sneaky...
Be safe. Be vigilant. Spread the word.
This is the real threat, people.
Motha...
...fuckin'...
...snakes.
Yes, people. Snakes. They're long. They're scary. They have big fucking fangs. They escape from New York/LA. Most people are scared of these things (and with good reason). Yet, most of these people know little to none about these elusive creatures. Here's a short list of facts about snakes. Read it. It could save your life.
1) Snakes are color-blind.
2) Snakes have no bones. (What we think are bones are actually made of hardened steel and granite.)
3) Snakes can't feel pain.
4) Snakes have no souls.
5) Snakes commonly inhabit planes.
6) The only known enemies of snakes are Metal Gears and Samuel L. Jacksons.
7) Snakes can disguise themselves as human beings.
The only real indication that a person is actually a snake in disguise is its lack of fingers, toes, ears, arms, legs, clothes, and/or hair.
8) Snakes don't like Star Wars, Christmas, or Swedish Fish.
9) Snakes, not Jews, are responsible for all of the wars in the world.
10) Snakes don't know how to love.
Just keep these simple facts in mind and be on the lookout, people. Snakes can and if given the opportunity, will fuck you up big-time.
Very sneaky, Mr.Snake...very sneaky...
Be safe. Be vigilant. Spread the word.