K. here we go, spilling our hearts out...
I don't know when I'm leaving... And I don't know when I'm coming back... All I know is I need to get away. You may say I'm running away from my problems. Maybe I am... I don't know. I'll figure that out when I'm gone.
I can't wait to leave. Simply cannot. But I do wish Samantha could come with me.
I just feel alone in this city. I know I have friends. But what else am i good for to them besides a ride around town?
I just need to get away for a few weeks. Maybe that will make me feel better. Or maybe it will make me hate this place and the people in it even more than I already do.
I need to concentrate on making myself happy for once.
Being in Okeechobee will give me a sense of happiness. Being with my Aunt, who understands me the most. Being with my cousin, who knows what it's like to feel shitty and unwanted.
I'm not worried about leaving anything behind. I don't have much, anyhow. I know I won't be talking to most of my friends while I'm there, only a certain few...
I wish I could leave myself behind... If that were possible, it would happen alot... what do you do when you want to cry and scream so badly, but you can't? physically and mentally you're able, but you're just in a place with no solid walls, no place to call your own? My happiness is like this... it's like trying to catch a shooting star...you hold your hand up to the sky. it seems as if the star is falling right into the palm of your hand..then you realize you're not close enough to catch it, and never will be.
Tonight was fun, i suppose. Picked up Justin, Jackie, Rachel, Candace, and Royale and went to Barnett Family Park. Cool. Me, Candace, Jackie, and Rachel moon-tanned. That was fun. Didn't say very much on the ride to take everyone home. Me and Royale went to Dunkin Doughnuts for no reason after we took everyone home. We had another talk. I love those talks. Even if they do last under 5 minutes.
megan.