at the mall yesterday this black girl asked me if I was pregnant.....

thats when you know you need to lose weight.
I hate diets though, becuase I looooove food. (obviously)
I wish someone would start walking with me or something.

in the movie, Mr. Brooks,
Dane Cook's character's name is
Matt Johnson

I was stoked.

I get my braces off July 12th

Heavy Heavy Low Low
Every Time I Die
Darkest Hour
Job For A Cowboy
The Number 12 Looks Like You

Theyre all playing sounds of the underground...
holy shit
now I HAVE to go.
that shit is gonna be crazy awesome!

whos going?

Mr. T / Dr. T : Recouping

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Driving Instructor: In America, a woman can choose who she has sex with.
Borat: Whaaaaat?

hahahha

I have so many secrets that I'd like to just shout out.

but you can't wear my shoes, and that mile will never be walked.