Some things are getting better, others are getting worse, and some things haven't changed at all. I guess that's life.

Some days I don't even know what's going on.

I'm going to have to grow up at some point.

Some days my mind just tears everything apart, and at times I can put things back together with sense and feel better than I did before, but sometimes I can't. Why do I even have to try to rationalize things to feel better? Why can't I just not be a fucking idiot instead?

It feels like I will hate them forever and I will never be able to let it go. I just want it to stop eating away at me like vultures on fresh carrion.

I haven't fixed everything, but I'm working on it, and I'm happy in general.

I can't sleep without having fucked up dreams. When I wake up, they poison my reality, and make me feel like shit. I'm so fucked. I never want to dream again.

( Don't read my whiny faggot shit )

Everything I have to complain or be upset about is my own fault. I hope the cliched statement from parents, "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out" applies here.

I'm starting to believe that everything we get (or don't get) is exactly what we deserve.