game over

[lastguardian]

I didn't save him. He was crying out to be saved and I couldn't hear him because he was too far away. Or maybe I wasn't listening. Everybody's going to tell me that it wasn't my fault, and maybe it wasn't, but it was. I'm the Slayer

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[oneeyed_zeppo]

I ran back to Buffy's as fast as I could and got to her door. I bent foward and panted then stood up and breathed. I knocked on the door, one swift manly knock. But the face that opened the door wasn't that of a groggy Slayer but of a devestated one.

"Buffy? What's wrong?"

Something was mortally wrong. "Are you okay? Is it Dawn?" Okay, silent slayers aren't practicle slayers. Case in point when Glory took Dawn. Could that be it?

"Did something happen to Dawn?"

...in the short time I left her on campus...? This was confusing and clearly answers were going to be hard. I just walked in. "I'll make you some tea."

Therapist/friend Xand at your service.

[lastguardian]

I stared at Xand blankly. When had he gotten here? He sounded like he was talking through water, but that might've been me. "Dawn?" I said finally, shaking my head to remove myself from the Angel-induced trance state. "She's at school, right?"

I looked up at Xander, looking for all the world like he was ready to -- boil water. What?

"What are you doing here?"

[oneeyed_zeppo]

Hmm, how to answer that. To tell you i love ya? To tell ya Dawn told me to tell you? "Just to stop bye."

There we go. Quick and one sentence. Time for her question. "So, what's up Buff?"

It looked like she was in a surrealist's world like I really wasn't there. But I was, and I was making tea. I put the kettle on the stove and turned to her.

[lastguardian]

Just to stop by. Oh. Visiting hours in Buffyland. Except now really wasn't the best time, what with Angel being dead and me not knowing why. Or how. Or who in L.A. to call to for answers.

Clearly it wasn't Xander, who a - wouldn't exactly be disappointed to hear about Angel's untimely demise and b - wasn't exactly in the know. And even if he were, it's not like he'd tell me. I haven't forgotten his "kick his ass" comment of way back when - especially since Willow sat me down after Anya didn't die and told me the truth about everything that went on that fateful day. I just said "fateful day." Further proof that I am completely distressed.

"I don't know," I confessed, and it was true. I didn't actually have any clue what was going on. I wasn't lying. But honestly, I just didn't want Xander's reaction to be the first. Anybody would have been an improvement. I didn't feel like looking into the faux-sympathy that would immediately jump into Xander's eye.

"How are you?"

Nice. Bland conversation. I could do bland. Go me.