(Untitled)

[i_hate_crawly]

Sugarplum's diet doesn't seem to be working at all. I've cut 'er food intake down to half a sphinx every two days, but she's still putting on weight. I reckon that there must still be people wot are feeding 'er behind my back (I know that Pazuzu somehow managed to get Scar Boy to start giving 'er marshmallows 'cos Scar Boy told me 'imself, but I

Comments

[born_to_lurk]

You should try putting a few traps up to keep out them pesky nuisances. Pits with spikes in 'em and shooting darts are always a good start. That'd stop that Scar Boy right like.

[i_hate_crawly]

Yeah, that'd be good. Fing is that the bosses son says that I'm not allowed to maim anybody while I'm 'ere at the Manor - plus if I incapacitated 'im then there'd be nobody to bring me room service. Reckon that I might be able to get away with making 'im fall into the pool (wouldn't be my fault if Sugarplum savaged 'im after all). I thought about a 'No Feeding The Tentacle Monster, Or Else' sign, but Dreya reckons that that wouldn't work an' people would then feed 'er to piss me off - the bastards.

[chelonianmobile]

Well, I haven't been feeding her. I don't know who has, honest. Go on, search me for marshmallows.

Nor does the red mark on one of her tentacles have anything to do with the scratched furrow in my scalp and the sucker-marks on my arms. I merely said hello to her and she attacked me. Who knew cleavers bounced off her skin? Not that I know this first hand, of course *cough* *revenge fantasy*

[i_hate_crawly]

Alright, I'll believe you about the feeding fing. If only for the fact that you seem like the only person wot she seems to be behavin' like at proper tentacle monster in the presence of at the moment. D'you know that I showed 'er a picture of that bastard snake the other day an' she patted it; they say in the books that the only fing you can do when they go an' do stuff like that is turn 'em into sushi but I could never do that to my precious little Sugarplum I reckon that she's too small to be at 'er full viciousness yet. Anyway, she'll only go for you if she feels threatened. She was probly only tryin' to play. Luckily tentacle monsters tend to be imprevious not affected by sharp objects 'cos of there tough skin (told all of you that she was dead ard didn't I?)