(no subject)
More than anything, right now, I feel regret. Regret to know that I have never appreciated what I have, enough to realize that I am one of the luckiest people in the world. I go through my life, never really stopping to think what someone in else in another country is going through. I know this feeling, it's kind of like the feeling I got while I watched Hotel Rwanda, and the feeling after any documentary of all the horrible wars that we've put humanity through. I just finished watching Innocent Voices and the feeling that this movie gave me is much stronger. Because this time I know that I am old enough to be able to do something about whats happening in this world. If you haven't seen this movie, I really recommend you to watch it. It's about a civil war in El Salvador. But kids were getting recruited just as soon as they turned 12 years old. My brother is only 11 and I would never want him to go through what all of those kids went through. At the end of the movie it said that over 300 thousand KIDS are recruited in 40 countries. And how can it be, that we can sit here in our homes safely without living in fear or having your home attacked, but they don't. I want to know how we are better than them. How we deserve this more than them? I would much rather be out there doing something than just sitting here. I can't believe that all of this is going on while I sleep comfortably in my bed. How I DARE to resent the things I go through when I don't have the slightest hint of how much others at that same moment are suffering. I really really hate myself for being selfish enough to think that my day is going to end simply because things didn't turn out my way. I hate myself for caring about all the material bullshit that were exposed to every day. When these kids and their families have to run from "house" to house to avoid getting killed. When they have NOTHING. How they're scared of turning one year older. I can't believe how ignorant I am about what's really happening around me. I have to write all of this down, because I don't ever want to lose this feeling. I want to always know that if I was put in this world and things like this affect me so much I know that I have to do something. That I will never live in peace knowing that this feeling is inside of me and yet I'm sitting arms crossed. I know that if I'm conscious of this, I need to do something. Because if I have the privilege to be free enough in this country to go to another one to do my part in changing this world, then I will. Because I have to. Because I really need to. And I'm not the only one. And I really wish that if anyone took the time to read this, I really wish that I might have at least given you an idea of how important it is for us to do something. ANYTHING. Just as long as we're really doing it to help. We really have to do something.