(no subject)
I feel useless. I hate feeling useless.
Really goes to show how dependent I got on my morphing. It's hard to think about problem solving or information gathering when I have to think of them in terms of doing them all human. I could ask about getting my chip removed, but things are a lot less clear here than they were at home. There's no definite alien menace for the rest of the people to stand up against, just people who can't agree on how to live together without being assholes - like Earth before the Yeerks, I guess, but with lamer shopping. I don't know who I'd be fighting for if I was going to do any fighting. And vigilanteism is harder to do when you have to actually tell someone what you CAN do before you can get the power to do it . . .
I just. Hate all this. Sitting around and feeling like . . . like a 16 year old human girl. Hate having to live by someone else's laws. I'm more than that. I always tried to tell myself that it wasn't my morphing that made me more, but now that I'm without it . . .
If I'm going to be on the police force or something . . . jeeze, me on the police force, isn't that a laugh? I'm so much more used to working around the law than enforcing it. If I'm going to join, I should probably look into learning karate or something. There's a guy who teaches in the gym. I've walked by a couple of times. And then there's the ninja turtle wandering around, and the saiyan . . . God, reading that over just makes me feel a little more crazy than I already did.
I'm just whining because I want something to do. I'm so restless. I don't even know who to fight for here - what to fight for - if there IS anything here worth fighting for - but I need to do something. At least if I got my chip out I could kill monsters.
Hey, uh. Mona, right? I found a room in Latimir. It's pretty nice. Thanks for the real-estate tips.
Who takes chips out here?
. . . and, uh, who do I talk to about getting food?
Really goes to show how dependent I got on my morphing. It's hard to think about problem solving or information gathering when I have to think of them in terms of doing them all human. I could ask about getting my chip removed, but things are a lot less clear here than they were at home. There's no definite alien menace for the rest of the people to stand up against, just people who can't agree on how to live together without being assholes - like Earth before the Yeerks, I guess, but with lamer shopping. I don't know who I'd be fighting for if I was going to do any fighting. And vigilanteism is harder to do when you have to actually tell someone what you CAN do before you can get the power to do it . . .
I just. Hate all this. Sitting around and feeling like . . . like a 16 year old human girl. Hate having to live by someone else's laws. I'm more than that. I always tried to tell myself that it wasn't my morphing that made me more, but now that I'm without it . . .
If I'm going to be on the police force or something . . . jeeze, me on the police force, isn't that a laugh? I'm so much more used to working around the law than enforcing it. If I'm going to join, I should probably look into learning karate or something. There's a guy who teaches in the gym. I've walked by a couple of times. And then there's the ninja turtle wandering around, and the saiyan . . . God, reading that over just makes me feel a little more crazy than I already did.
I'm just whining because I want something to do. I'm so restless. I don't even know who to fight for here - what to fight for - if there IS anything here worth fighting for - but I need to do something. At least if I got my chip out I could kill monsters.
Hey, uh. Mona, right? I found a room in Latimir. It's pretty nice. Thanks for the real-estate tips.
Who takes chips out here?
. . . and, uh, who do I talk to about getting food?