Two of Four.
A few weeks of ignoring my parents and teachers soon lead into Kuya openly telling them that I was gay, and in love with him and that we didn’t care.
They kicked me out of the house, and his parents took me in.
Life was pretty good for those last few ’tween’ years. In middle school thought thing’s got a bit more difficult.
Third trimester of our first year at Shiroiwa, Saki began to make more obvious advances on me, rather than just kissing and cuddling out of sight, He would openly hold my hand in school, tease at my ears during lunch, and do all sorts of other things that would get me to blush.
This was nothing though compared to the advances he was making in private.
By now he had started to touch and play with me only once I was mostly asleep, when I didn't seem to have enough energy to respond the way I wanted to, only the way my body ached to.
He would compliment me too, on my voice, the glossy look in my eyes and the way I shook...But not only did he talk about that, hevtalked about other things. One of the things he said I don't think I'll forget.
'Soon I'm going to fuck you Ryu, and you're going to enjoy it, Right? You're going to love it.'
That night was the night that he began to openly leave marks on my neck, and chest. I don't know if you've ever felt it, but when you're in a relationship that your not sure you want to go in the directions it's heading, then have to go out with open proof that it's headed there anyway...It kind of breaks your will to fight it from launching full speed where ever the other person wants it to go.
Things got a bit awkward then for me, My advanced classes were getting exhausting, learning more on three instruments at once, - Which I can't believe I forgot until now. My family taught me the Koto, Saki the Violin, and I'd been teaching myself the Shimasen. - And playing into what I thought Saki would like were begining to wear me down.
Halfway though my 7th year of schooling, Saki had gotten back onto the teachers favorite lists, and I followed him, so he had convinced his gym teacher and my math teacher to let us out on the roof top.
I was estattic, you could see almost the whole city from there, not to mention this was the place all the misbehaving kids skipped class to, so it made the next part even more memorable to me. On the roof, a couple of weeks before spring break, Saki finally cornered me against the wall, litterally.
We had sex for the first time in broad daylight, around the time when my upperclassmen chose to skip mainly. And for that reason I could never manage to keep myself calm, keep relaxed spite how much it hurt to be pinned to the wall and fucked nearly dry.
We didn't get caught though, And I was sent home with a cold not long later, unable to focus, flushed and breathing a bit hard still. I know now that Saki had drugged my water bottle not long before we went up there, then also talked to the nurse about bringing me home.
They agreed naturally, and once we were there the same thing happened again, all over his house until I blacked out, I don't remember if It kept going, but I remember waking up late the next day alone with a note saying that he called me in, and he would come right home after school. Sincerely yours, Forever, Kuya Sakimoto.
Then in english he wrote 'I love you.'
I was childish, and the words thrilled me, I forgave for everything that had happened last night ,even though to this day I'm sure I don't remember half of it.
I remember sitting on the bed, drugged to high heaven so that I couldn't feel much of anything, playing my Violin. I remember that the pain meds had worn enough, but the idea of seeing him was enough to release endorphins.
I also realize now that I had never gone a whole day without seeing Saki. He had been pretty much breading me to rely on him with soft reassuring words like 'You're safe when I'm here.' 'I'll always protect you' 'It's you're scared I'll be there for you.' I didn't know then, but when you hear those things everyday, your mind rationalizes it as the person saying to be the only thing keeping you safe.
You start to think thatas long as your with them your fine. When they're there nothing can harm you.
When you're alone you can do nothing, are nothing, and will amount to nothing.
That day I decided to drop out of my advanced classes, and see if the school would move me up a grade. I wanted to spend more time with Saki.
I told him when he got home, That I was dropping out of my classes.
This leads into the third, and most painful part of my life.
Saki's change.