Comments | i_need_the_eggs: Read My Madness...

i_need_the_eggs

Read My Madness...

Jun 30, 2005 16:13

So, as a part of my seemingly summer-long orientation for college, Denison has given a project to the class of 2009. We're supposed to contribute pieces of art (be they drawings, photos, fiction, essays, etc...) that say what "home" signifies to us. Sounds like a fairly kickass deal. So I'm once more subjecting y'all to my writing...currently a ( Read more... )

Comments 6

_snarla June 30 2005, 21:40:33 UTC

that was adorable to the max until you started talking about your parents having sex.
also, maine has three fewer syllables than alabama.
don't get me wrong, though- i do like this piece; if i can give a little bit of criticism, though, i think the huge skynard tangent kind of weakens this essay. i would recommend trimming that and concluding with something else adorable- although since this is only part one, maybe you will tie this up in a manner that pleeeeaases kelsey.

i_need_the_eggs June 30 2005, 21:47:01 UTC

hell, woman. I'm just a scribblin' down ma' ramblins. I'm gonna have a lot more SHIITE come outta this and in a much more cohesive manor...it'll be strong like ox. There'll be shit that pleeeeaases you...I spose

_planetshhh June 30 2005, 22:32:01 UTC

kelsey made all of the critiques that I was going to suggest. motherfucker. I like this, although it simultaneously brings to my attention the startling realization that you, along with most of my other friends, will be gone next year. I have to admit, with shame, that I have never read any of your essays before (or, if I have, not for a long time), just cause I never check this site. but your voice rules, is the point. someone's calling! peace.

vangogh86 June 30 2005, 23:17:21 UTC

i really agree about the sex part. i also think you should end differently, that is to say; end with something that's about yourself. take the reader back to the your experience.

i_need_the_eggs July 2 2005, 04:25:49 UTC

"I also think you should end differently"...This is part one of about 5 billion. A different ending will eventually be forthcoming.

twostrawsko July 1 2005, 22:53:53 UTC

I like, a lot...in fact I like the rambling about Skynard...it gives it character. But if you did take out some of that maybe you could include more anecdotes about your family/home that would be more about you...yeah, that's all. :-) I look forward to reading more of the same...or better.

-K