it's just goodnight and not goodbye
title; it’s just goodnight and not goodbye
pairing: jongwoon/ryeowook
rating: g
genre: angst, romance
length: drabble // 793 words
summary: it’s the day jongwoon has to leave for the army, d-day for both of them.
a/n: this is my first attempt at yesung/ryeowook, omg. this is so disjointed and... incoherent ide.
*
“you’ll text me every day when you’re gone, won’t you?”
ryeowook’s voice trembles and breaks in the unnatural quiet of their room, and it’s so painfully obvious that jongwoon has to bite his lip so he won’t say anything. it’s not normally so silent - usually, it’s filled with various sounds, such as the sound of jongwoon practicing for the newest drama OST he’s been assigned, his husky voice gliding smoothly over the melody. such as the sound of ryeowook chattering away about the busy day he’s had DJ-ing at sukira. such as the sound of ryeowook gently humming to himself, trying to compose a new melody for the group. their room has always been filled with sounds of music, sounds of life, bits and pieces of them. Now, it’s going to be just ryeowook. just ryeowook and silence and nothing else in between.
jongwoon’s heart aches to think of ryeowook, living here in their once-shared room alone. even though he’d moved out about a month before his enlistment to spend more time with his parents, he had made sure that he came back almost every day to visit. ryeowook had been so overjoyed to see him back in the dorms, he remembered, smiling fondly at the memory.
“yeah, I will. if you like, I can even write to you, or something.”
jongwoon knows that ryeowook prefers letters over texts. that’s why every day, when they were still living together, he’d made sure to get up earlier than ryeowook every single day, just to write a small little note and leave it on the desk in their room for ryeowook to see. there was never anything major on those little notes, but rather simple, sweet sentences. still, those were what made them so uniquely them, and he doesn’t know how he’s going to survive if he doesn’t write those notes for two years.
“I have a recording for a new track today, be back late. sleep first!”
“ you have a long schedule today… have a good day, okay?”
“we should do a duet together someday, right?”
“i miss you.”
“you’ll be too busy, right? it’s okay, text is fine.”
what jongwoon doesn’t know is that every morning, ryeowook leaps out of bed and sprints to the table in anticipation of what jongwoon’s left for him. more often than not, it’s what puts a smile on his face every single day. sometimes ryeowook reads the note and grins; sometimes he blushes; sometimes he laughs out loud at whatever silly joke that’s appeared on the note that morning.
what jongwoon doesn’t know is that ryeowook’s kept every single one of his notes ever since he started writing them. all five hundred and seventy-six of them.
*
ryeowook laughs bitterly to himself; after all, what jongwoon doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Standing on the tips of his toes and extending his arms for a hug (jongwoon is tall, taller than he is, but jongwoon is not too tall because when they’re together they provide the perfect contrast between solid and petite), he pulls jongwoon closer to him, nestling in the space between jongwoon’s shoulder and collarbone, that space he is so proud to call his. Nobody else has had the honour of lying here, head cradled in the nook, warm and shielded from the rest of the world.
“it’s only two years, right? We’ll be fine.” but ryeowook can hear the shaking uncertainty in those words and how badly he wants to reach out and tear down everything that’s keeping them apart -
“yeah. It’s only two years. We’ll be fine.” He knows he’s merely echoing jongwoon’s words and he desperately wants to say something, anything that will make jongwoon stay, and yet -
“I’ve got to go, okay? If not I’ll be late. And we can’t have that, can we?” jongwoon’s smiling at him now, but it’s not his real smile. This is just a shadow of the truly radiant brilliance that is jongwoon’s smile. This is just a simple lifting of lips, tinged with nostalgia and regret, and something inside ryeowook twinges and breaks.
Leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss to the corner of jongwoon’s mouth. I’ll miss you, I love you, I’ll wait for you I swear -
“okay. Take care.”
I’ll miss you too, I love you too, and I’ll come back as soon as I can -
“I will. You remember to text me every single day, okay?”
“okay.”
Ryeowook pushes him out the door then, because he doesn’t think he can bear this half-assed goodbye any longer. And when jongwoon is fully out of the door (yet he doesn’t turn back, because he’s not going to make it any more difficult for them than it already is), ryeowook leans back against the door and maybe, just maybe, a lone tear traces its way down his cheek.
e n d
pairing: jongwoon/ryeowook
rating: g
genre: angst, romance
length: drabble // 793 words
summary: it’s the day jongwoon has to leave for the army, d-day for both of them.
a/n: this is my first attempt at yesung/ryeowook, omg. this is so disjointed and... incoherent ide.
*
“you’ll text me every day when you’re gone, won’t you?”
ryeowook’s voice trembles and breaks in the unnatural quiet of their room, and it’s so painfully obvious that jongwoon has to bite his lip so he won’t say anything. it’s not normally so silent - usually, it’s filled with various sounds, such as the sound of jongwoon practicing for the newest drama OST he’s been assigned, his husky voice gliding smoothly over the melody. such as the sound of ryeowook chattering away about the busy day he’s had DJ-ing at sukira. such as the sound of ryeowook gently humming to himself, trying to compose a new melody for the group. their room has always been filled with sounds of music, sounds of life, bits and pieces of them. Now, it’s going to be just ryeowook. just ryeowook and silence and nothing else in between.
jongwoon’s heart aches to think of ryeowook, living here in their once-shared room alone. even though he’d moved out about a month before his enlistment to spend more time with his parents, he had made sure that he came back almost every day to visit. ryeowook had been so overjoyed to see him back in the dorms, he remembered, smiling fondly at the memory.
“yeah, I will. if you like, I can even write to you, or something.”
jongwoon knows that ryeowook prefers letters over texts. that’s why every day, when they were still living together, he’d made sure to get up earlier than ryeowook every single day, just to write a small little note and leave it on the desk in their room for ryeowook to see. there was never anything major on those little notes, but rather simple, sweet sentences. still, those were what made them so uniquely them, and he doesn’t know how he’s going to survive if he doesn’t write those notes for two years.
“I have a recording for a new track today, be back late. sleep first!”
“ you have a long schedule today… have a good day, okay?”
“we should do a duet together someday, right?”
“i miss you.”
“you’ll be too busy, right? it’s okay, text is fine.”
what jongwoon doesn’t know is that every morning, ryeowook leaps out of bed and sprints to the table in anticipation of what jongwoon’s left for him. more often than not, it’s what puts a smile on his face every single day. sometimes ryeowook reads the note and grins; sometimes he blushes; sometimes he laughs out loud at whatever silly joke that’s appeared on the note that morning.
what jongwoon doesn’t know is that ryeowook’s kept every single one of his notes ever since he started writing them. all five hundred and seventy-six of them.
*
ryeowook laughs bitterly to himself; after all, what jongwoon doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Standing on the tips of his toes and extending his arms for a hug (jongwoon is tall, taller than he is, but jongwoon is not too tall because when they’re together they provide the perfect contrast between solid and petite), he pulls jongwoon closer to him, nestling in the space between jongwoon’s shoulder and collarbone, that space he is so proud to call his. Nobody else has had the honour of lying here, head cradled in the nook, warm and shielded from the rest of the world.
“it’s only two years, right? We’ll be fine.” but ryeowook can hear the shaking uncertainty in those words and how badly he wants to reach out and tear down everything that’s keeping them apart -
“yeah. It’s only two years. We’ll be fine.” He knows he’s merely echoing jongwoon’s words and he desperately wants to say something, anything that will make jongwoon stay, and yet -
“I’ve got to go, okay? If not I’ll be late. And we can’t have that, can we?” jongwoon’s smiling at him now, but it’s not his real smile. This is just a shadow of the truly radiant brilliance that is jongwoon’s smile. This is just a simple lifting of lips, tinged with nostalgia and regret, and something inside ryeowook twinges and breaks.
Leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss to the corner of jongwoon’s mouth. I’ll miss you, I love you, I’ll wait for you I swear -
“okay. Take care.”
I’ll miss you too, I love you too, and I’ll come back as soon as I can -
“I will. You remember to text me every single day, okay?”
“okay.”
Ryeowook pushes him out the door then, because he doesn’t think he can bear this half-assed goodbye any longer. And when jongwoon is fully out of the door (yet he doesn’t turn back, because he’s not going to make it any more difficult for them than it already is), ryeowook leans back against the door and maybe, just maybe, a lone tear traces its way down his cheek.
e n d