The Book of Crack Drabbles
I found a book outside the cave just now. I think I remember hearing that someone was looking for a lost book. I wonder if this is the one they were looking for? Maybe it says something inside...
The Hot Stranger [Kougaiji/Sanzo]
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Kougaiji strode along the path, making for Pale Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Bloody Mullet, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Finger.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his luminous gun just in time to face the romantic man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck softly, and Kougaiji barely raised his gun to meet the attack. They fought long and quickly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Kougaiji found himself forced to one knee, the man's gun pressed to his violet ankle. "I am Sanzo of Pale Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Bloody Mullet. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in the castle."
But Kougaiji had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his gun with a twist, overpowered Sanzo and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Kougaiji said, looking down upon him.
Sanzo's elbow shimmered like the ruby glow of the sun setting in the west. "I have underestimated you, Kougaiji. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Kougaiji's desire was enflamed. His ankle throbbed and all his thoughts were to molest Sanzo like a monkey. Kougaiji caressed Sanzo's pretty elbow and he responded. They came together abruptly, and their joining was as shiny as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet Sutra!" Kougaiji groaned and shanked Sanzo as sexily as he could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Kougaiji said. "That's where I put the Bloody Mullet for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed sharply on the grass, forgetful of all but their violent love. "We will stay together forever," Sanzo said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Finger never got the Bloody Mullet and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
...
What the...? This can't be the missing book. That's just... Why would anyone write a story about Sanzo and me? And why his elbow? That doesn't even make any sense. I'm almost afraid to see what else is in here...
The Battle For The Monocle [Hakkai/Gojyo]
In the bathroom, Gojyo molested his monocle. He had been busy with the monocle for hours and now wanted nothing more than a delicious cuddle or a lustful massage from his lover Hakkai.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his sexy Hakkai appeared at the door, grinning smoothly.
"Put down the monocle," Hakkai said quickly. "Unless you want me to molest that monocle on your hair."
Gojyo put down the monocle. He was proud. He had never seen Hakkai so sweet before and it made him soft.
Hakkai picked up the monocle, then withdrew a cigarette from his neck. "Don't be so proud," Hakkai said with a sweet grimace. "A cockroach bit my eye this morning, and everything became delicate. Now with this monocle and this cigarette I can quickly rule the world!"
Gojyo clutched his loud eye seductively. This was his lover, his sexy Hakkai, now staring at him with a sweet neck.
"Fight it!" Gojyo shouted. "The cockroach just wants the monocle for his own sexy devices! He doesn't love you, not the delicious way I do!"
Gojyo could see Hakkai trembling seductively. Gojyo reached out his hair and touched Hakkai's neck quickly. He was sexy, so sexy, but he knew only his loud love for Hakkai would break the cockroach's spell.
Sure enough, Hakkai dropped the monocle with a thunk. "Oh, Gojyo," he squealed. "I'm so delicious, can you ever forgive me?"
But Gojyo had already moved in the bathroom. Like a predatorz that attacks from behind, he pressed his hair into Hakkai's neck. And as they fell together in a delicate fit of love, the monocle lay on the floor, soft and forgotten.
... molested his monocle?? This is insane. Is the whole book like this? ... 'I Saw Meatbun Kissing Santa Claus'? What does that even mean?
((He's not reading the stories out loud, but he is talking out loud to himself. XD
Another book of stories created by the Drabble-matic, because Jen and I were crying with laughter after creating some the other night. There are probably random pages with stories about other characters if you want to create your own crack drabble and have Kou find it in the book. ;D ))
The Hot Stranger [Kougaiji/Sanzo]
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Kougaiji strode along the path, making for Pale Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Bloody Mullet, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Finger.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his luminous gun just in time to face the romantic man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck softly, and Kougaiji barely raised his gun to meet the attack. They fought long and quickly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Kougaiji found himself forced to one knee, the man's gun pressed to his violet ankle. "I am Sanzo of Pale Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Bloody Mullet. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in the castle."
But Kougaiji had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his gun with a twist, overpowered Sanzo and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Kougaiji said, looking down upon him.
Sanzo's elbow shimmered like the ruby glow of the sun setting in the west. "I have underestimated you, Kougaiji. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Kougaiji's desire was enflamed. His ankle throbbed and all his thoughts were to molest Sanzo like a monkey. Kougaiji caressed Sanzo's pretty elbow and he responded. They came together abruptly, and their joining was as shiny as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet Sutra!" Kougaiji groaned and shanked Sanzo as sexily as he could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Kougaiji said. "That's where I put the Bloody Mullet for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed sharply on the grass, forgetful of all but their violent love. "We will stay together forever," Sanzo said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Finger never got the Bloody Mullet and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
...
What the...? This can't be the missing book. That's just... Why would anyone write a story about Sanzo and me? And why his elbow? That doesn't even make any sense. I'm almost afraid to see what else is in here...
The Battle For The Monocle [Hakkai/Gojyo]
In the bathroom, Gojyo molested his monocle. He had been busy with the monocle for hours and now wanted nothing more than a delicious cuddle or a lustful massage from his lover Hakkai.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his sexy Hakkai appeared at the door, grinning smoothly.
"Put down the monocle," Hakkai said quickly. "Unless you want me to molest that monocle on your hair."
Gojyo put down the monocle. He was proud. He had never seen Hakkai so sweet before and it made him soft.
Hakkai picked up the monocle, then withdrew a cigarette from his neck. "Don't be so proud," Hakkai said with a sweet grimace. "A cockroach bit my eye this morning, and everything became delicate. Now with this monocle and this cigarette I can quickly rule the world!"
Gojyo clutched his loud eye seductively. This was his lover, his sexy Hakkai, now staring at him with a sweet neck.
"Fight it!" Gojyo shouted. "The cockroach just wants the monocle for his own sexy devices! He doesn't love you, not the delicious way I do!"
Gojyo could see Hakkai trembling seductively. Gojyo reached out his hair and touched Hakkai's neck quickly. He was sexy, so sexy, but he knew only his loud love for Hakkai would break the cockroach's spell.
Sure enough, Hakkai dropped the monocle with a thunk. "Oh, Gojyo," he squealed. "I'm so delicious, can you ever forgive me?"
But Gojyo had already moved in the bathroom. Like a predatorz that attacks from behind, he pressed his hair into Hakkai's neck. And as they fell together in a delicate fit of love, the monocle lay on the floor, soft and forgotten.
... molested his monocle?? This is insane. Is the whole book like this? ... 'I Saw Meatbun Kissing Santa Claus'? What does that even mean?
((He's not reading the stories out loud, but he is talking out loud to himself. XD
Another book of stories created by the Drabble-matic, because Jen and I were crying with laughter after creating some the other night. There are probably random pages with stories about other characters if you want to create your own crack drabble and have Kou find it in the book. ;D ))