(no subject)
This took me awhile, but I enjoyed every second.
This is one time I can tell you all how I feel.
Everyone is there.
Guess in a comment, I'll let you know.
1. I didn’t know where to start so I will talk about the person on my list I’ve known the longest. I think 17 years, except the past 6 years I’ve only seen you a collective three weeks. We were friends before memories were important, sitting ducks for embarrassing possibilities and endless tyranny over Maple Park. The fights were endless, but the cattiest fights I had were not with you. Racecar driving, Italian furniture, Roman Holiday, growing pine trees, Gucci bags, Clueless, Scream, and Gone with the Wind will always remind me of you. You deserve what’s coming to you, I know that is a good thing.
2. You are one of the first people in Charlotte I met… and came back around years later. I think you are honestly one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever known, you act like you don’t know it either and that’s preposterous! You are in a place right now where your life is frazzled and busy, it’s changing drastically and there are worries and demands on you that seem too large for someone your age. Your relationships are long and tedious, and I’ve said before: “short-sighted impulses own what's left of your dignity, tell yourself quietly don't plow the field yet, you're waiting to grow some new life from retrospect.” I am amazed by how much faith you store in me, and it actually gives me more energy and self respect than you’d know because it’s a rare gift to find such a supportive friend. I will miss you so much, it stings already.
3. This is another Chicagoan that I haven’t seen since sixth grade. You found my journal and I’m dumbfounded how. I remember your lisp, a handful of sleepovers, your Drew Barrymore profile, scrunchies, bottom braces and spilt freckles. You laugh in continuum and are just precious. You cross my mind on random afternoons, one of about five people I actually miss from the North Shore. We fell out of touch.
4. You left Charlotte for a much better life, a new chance at everything. Seeing you so happy now makes me beam because you are a tremendous person. You don’t need to waste a cloud of thought in depression and regret. I was writing about you in that random spiel last night in this line “A flash of green, blinding sunshine, secret stories, and sexual innuendos brought them together. Whispers in the din, platitudes turned platinum in lisps, lovely reflections in shy eyes.” because you crossed my mind and that’s how I think our friendship started, our whispered secrets at lunch when no one noticed we were talking, and those stories of old loves. I miss you, those conversations, and your shy smile.
5. You are my cousin. Watching you grow up and change is quite enchanting, although we aren’t more than around three years apart. You have a natural beauty, a kind heart, and apparently a boy magnet! I remember Japanese dinners where I acted a’fool, poised mockeries of Christopher’s picture, shopping in the Water Tower Place, even Nagshead (more than just last July’s visit). You are going to France next year, which makes me envious but also admire you because that’s quite a big step for someone your age. You will go far in life, and I don’t think we should lose touch.
6. Some people you just don’t have much good to say about. I don’t know you very well but you act like you know me inside out. You are usually around when fun times are being had, when things aren’t taken seriously. So you are a fun person, but I would never trust you.
7. I was told not to like you by a Scottish boy, I’m glad I didn’t listen to him. I still haven’t had much conversation with you but you are hilarious. Your british voice used sporadically at lunch is how I’ll remember you, and the red hot chile peppers as well. I’m glad you found someone.
8. You are probably the most positive role model of all my friends. I think you have a bigger heart than thought humanly possible and more devotion and determination than most people your age. You have enormous photography talent and a restless spirit for both mental and physical challenges. I think you are beautiful in every way and need to be in love, but only with the perfect girl to match your perfection.
9. Your thoughts are incredible and the wordings you use to describe things is what first drew me to you. We still never hung out, but we tried. You are shameless… naked pictures on the internet! Your taste in music and knowledge of it as a body really astounds me and that makes you all the more complicated. You are skinny and funny, ride your bike and DJ it up. I haven’t talked to you in months but last I checked you were happy and falling in love, good for you. I hope things are even better than they were then.
10. You, my friend, are so random! I miss Spanish with you behind me everyday and our drives and conversations later into the summer. I don’t even know how we met because we lead such different lives, we are so different, but I feel you understood me and I you. You are in love now and it “fills the void that was high school.” I know I have the same coming to me, best of luck, we need to see each other soon. Maybe I’ll call you one of these days.
11. You intrigued me before we ever met, and we wanted the same guy! Our first encounter was just really weird, I recognized your eyes and freckles from pictures and it turned into one of my giddiest friendships. It would have been nice if both of us hadn’t had so much work this summer because we had to squeeze hangout time into the exhausting hours after we were done working. Ben’s house and ballet reminds me of you.
12. You are such a quiet boy. We both write, I guess that’s how we met. Mutual friends. You counted down for me to come home and then we never hung out, what gives! Haha, well, loneliness will end soon for you I really do believe.
13. We rode the bus together my sophomore year. You were so quiet then, just kind of smirked. That’s how I think of you, a smirker. Haha. Your life hit the shit hole this year, a lot of luckless draws and low points. I worry about you. “That is our friend the Aryan.”
14. This is an adorable girl. She reminds me of honey and buttons. Sadly, we can’t go on our planned double dates now, neither of us. (Although I hope you two are one day are back together.) We should probably still hang out. You are very feminist and that rules. It also rules how open and unabashed you are. In my book, you are very cool.
15. You hate my brother, wait, can he tell you again that he works at CompUSA? You are hilarious and off the charts intelligent. You do your own thing, completely unique and I don’t think anyone would argue against me. Your family treats you like shit, they don’t even realize what is living amongst them. I think you’ll floor them a few years down the road, I know you will succeed at life. I wish you’d go into politics. I also wish you find an uncomplicated girl, you deserve so much more.
16. I think of crack when I see your smiling face. You are a little girl grown up, always smiling and jubilant. You are in the best blend of love, and deserve it because you are such a kind person. I know you are well loved, I see it all over the place.
17. You are a funny guy. I still don’t understand you very well but I value whatever we’ve had in the past. When I think of you I think of those yellow jacket pills that made you an even more pronounced hyper-active person. Prom, Converge, health insurance, and Fern Gully remind me of you.
18. I know I’m only on your list because you are friends with a girl who knows your password and thinks I have secret information about her boyfriend. I think she’s cute enough, and all you post about is your band.
19. Oh snapple, you ruhjule. Haha. You are just too witty, and everything kills you. You will always dress the part and talk the talk, because that’s just who you are. I am glad I found friendship in you, I didn’t expect to at all actually but sometimes suck ass boyfriends produce awesome friends in retrospect. We will be hanging out more in the future, you and your new boy. Admit it!
20. Sometimes I feel like you left me. You are such a strong person, those guns would shy away any male. But really, I love you. You are another great role model, just because of all that you’ve withstood in the past. I’ve been here when you had hard times, and a lot of that has passed now that you’re out of Charlotte and back in love. You are a huge huge geek, infectious laugh, crazy facial expressions and the weirdest takes on things sometimes. I think you are running for president as the reincarnated Louie XIV am I correct??!!
21. I think you made a good decision just recently to transfer. You are SUCH a nice guy, it’s unbelievable. Very shy, but very kind. We met through Amanda and over candyland. Next year, if I get into NC State, then hopefully I’ll see you around more than just over the summer and winter breaks.
22. You are cute but I don’t really know you. Very quiet, a lot of guys seem to want to jump your bones though. I think we’ll get to know eachother better as time goes on, our paths cross.
23. Twink. You are way too funny, Friday was awesome. You have the ability to make such concise statements and summations of your opinions or reactions. It always makes me laugh. Most of the time we share the same opinion, but by the time I notice, you’ve already said that, so I guess you wouldn’t have noticed.
24. My God, what are you doing to yourself!? I can’t tell if you are taking your decisions lightly or not, but after talking to you last night I think a lot was cleared up. Tomorrow I will try to talk some sense into you, because as I’ve said, I love you and… what the hell are you doing to yourself? You’d be there for me if I were in your position. Otherwise, I love our memories. You are like a little brother to me and I love talking to you at any time of day in any scenario. I love curling up on your couch when I’m too tired and just listening to you play. Pictures downtown and trips to the car dealership will always make me think of you. So much reminds me of you, and I stock so much faith in you regardless of everything and everyone else.
25. You are another girl I don’t know. I think you’re cute, I hope you’re careful with everything. We may or may not get to know each other, just be careful. (not of me, of your life.)
26. You visited with my friend who is your BFF! You are my other friends ex boyfriend! You have dirty hair and a big smile, I think you’re charming and delightful. We will meet again, and actually I think sooner rather than later because I’m going to be with you guys for New Years.
27. Woah… you are quite mind blowing. Talented in so many ways, but I know you work at it so it’s not unfair. You’re going far in design, it’s just a given. I’m waiting on the edge for your discovery. And music? Watching you on stage is such a lifting thing, it obviously makes you too happy to quit. You're great at it. You are also beautiful… breathtaking is a better word. I don’t know why girls don’t appreciate you, it disgusts me. You remind me how young I am, and intimidate me into near silence. Such a bright future. I think our friendship is really growing.
28. You found a significant other so you won’t read this, but I don’t know you very well anyways. A sweet girl who muses up my hair on a whim.
29. Wow, this is a precious girl. You look like a tiny doll and I think most girls in Charlotte have at one time wished they looked just like you. You broke my friends heart, but are such a nice person from all I’ve ever talked with you. Your best friend is treated like shit, it makes me cringe but I don’t know all the details and I don’t want to. (I think it would make me sick) Your boyfriend is “cwazy” and I was jealous of you before I set eyes on you just hearing all the things people have said.
30. Huge heart. Thick dreads. You play bass like you are the intro to Seinfeld.
31. You remind me of gyros, don’t know why. I remember when you used to date Jessica, I miss that girl. Then there were others. Today is your birthday! Happy 19 years old! And that girl is LUCKY that she took you back because she’d get her face punched if she didn’t. Oh, but she’s lucky anyways because you are a great guy.
32. You are a Winston girl, friends with friends. I think you should get yourself a great guy who appreciates you. You are too kind to your friends, it’s really admirable.
33. Wow you are cynical! I think we are very different but I like you and your outspoken ways. I remember our work crew weekend at Windy Gap and all those bracelets of yours. I think you’ve grown into a really comfortable place, you are in love, know what you believe, strong, and vicious! I’m glad we got in a class together because I’m not sure I would really know you on any level otherwise. Matt should get back in town so we can hang out.
34. You, my lady, are a tough cookie. But you really aren’t. You’re vulnerable and sometimes scared, absolutely a beautiful individual. Your faith in me has moved me to tears before, I’m not even sure where your kindness originally comes from. You are dating a boy that I love like a brother but you are a fantastic match for him, you even look alike! We still need to hang out before you go off to Wake. You work so hard.
35. I’m so thankful I met you. It’s only been a couple of months actually but you were there for some of the hardest days towards the end of my relationship. I care so much for you, and our conversations have been some of the best ones I’ve had in a long time. You need a license, you need to move to Charlotte, you need a great girl. It’s coming, but you’re not worried. You are just very picky. Sometimes I wish you did enjoy talking on the phone because I love talking to you, but we both hate it so that isn’t happening most likely. Gah, your happiness Friday made me so happy, I love being secret confidants and telling secrets on the stairs. You are a wonderful boy.
It’s getting kind of hard. These will be the biggest challenges.
36. Presenting one of my two role models. This girl is in her own class, no guys mess with her, AND she gets what she wants. Her ideals, words, opinions, love, talent…everything, make her just this huge influence. We grow closer by the day, and I can’t wait till she’s nearby. The Little Prince, freckles under black lights, wigs, KOLS, so so much reminds me of you. I was intimidated, jealous, you name it. But now I just love you.
37. I don’t know what to say really. You obviously don’t care anyways. You have gripes with feeling second best but have proved to me that I was made second best. I have a lot to say but it doesn’t bother me unless I think about it a lot. Your actions would be forgiven most likely if you ever ventured an apology. It’s been weeks though, I don’t even think you want to be friends. You will have such a profound effect on me and my life, on my choosing of mates, and on my trust of others. You are actually a very “big hearted” person and we have some wonderful memories that I’m forever indebted to you for. Your mistreatment of me opened my eyes to how much my friends really care for me. 704 541 9017 if you ever feel the need, or if you yourself ever need. I think we will eventually be friends for life. You have some growing up to do though.
38. Now you know how much you have mattered to me. I guess it took that mess of events and trash talk and what-not to realize it but, in a way, I’m thankful that you are now aware. You were there in the early summer noticing my scowls and tears, you were just there when I needed it. I won’t ever be forgetting that, and that’s why I consider you a friend. You are a big influence on how I look at things, how I see myself, and the first person I would ever go to if I were ever questioning any prospect’s true character. (and you KNOW that’s true… sigh, I’m such a geek and I’m sorry for it!) We shouldn’t ever lose touch, I hope I know you for the rest of my life.
39. You always listen quietly. I ramble, you giggle, we vent, we drive. We’ve been through a lot and at one point I thought our friendship was over. But you are a best friend and it’s not going to be ended that easily. You are loved, you are in love, you are NOT a backstabber. I don’t think you ever could be. I don’t even think you could ever tell a lie. We have so much ahead of us.
40. I love you. Simple. I see so much less of you but you are the girl who has stayed right here for all of high school. Our spring breaks and crushes and ENDLESS secrets and jokes have made our friendship the best of all friendships I can remember. I actually DO have books of just us. You are such a stellar person, so unlike anyone I ever have or will meet. You can brighten any day and I admire you so much.
41. Hello sunshine. I do not know what my life would have been like if I had never met you. The only boy I really ever loved. Such a HUGE impact on me in so many countless ways. You introduced me to life. And honestly, I have probably cried hundreds of times with you on my mind, and I’m not joking. I really don’t think my life would be how it is right now without you. So much reminds me of you, I can’t even begin to make a list. You were my first boyfriend, and now are in love and that girl is the luckiest girl feasible. I wonder how different things could have been, I wonder if they happened because they should have but I don't like to think about it so much because I have so many regrets. I just love you, unconditionally, always. That’s it and it’s simple. And we won't ever lose touch. We can't. Next year you'll be at arms length.
42. This is the only person who doesn’t have a live journal that I’m doing this for. And I’m doing it because he is my second role model. He inspires me to do so much, he’s beautiful and possibly the most looked up to male influence in my life. He’s tremendously talented, and not hesitant to shine. He floors me. I feel right at home around him and there is never a frown on my face when he’s nearby. Dang!
This is one time I can tell you all how I feel.
Everyone is there.
Guess in a comment, I'll let you know.
1. I didn’t know where to start so I will talk about the person on my list I’ve known the longest. I think 17 years, except the past 6 years I’ve only seen you a collective three weeks. We were friends before memories were important, sitting ducks for embarrassing possibilities and endless tyranny over Maple Park. The fights were endless, but the cattiest fights I had were not with you. Racecar driving, Italian furniture, Roman Holiday, growing pine trees, Gucci bags, Clueless, Scream, and Gone with the Wind will always remind me of you. You deserve what’s coming to you, I know that is a good thing.
2. You are one of the first people in Charlotte I met… and came back around years later. I think you are honestly one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever known, you act like you don’t know it either and that’s preposterous! You are in a place right now where your life is frazzled and busy, it’s changing drastically and there are worries and demands on you that seem too large for someone your age. Your relationships are long and tedious, and I’ve said before: “short-sighted impulses own what's left of your dignity, tell yourself quietly don't plow the field yet, you're waiting to grow some new life from retrospect.” I am amazed by how much faith you store in me, and it actually gives me more energy and self respect than you’d know because it’s a rare gift to find such a supportive friend. I will miss you so much, it stings already.
3. This is another Chicagoan that I haven’t seen since sixth grade. You found my journal and I’m dumbfounded how. I remember your lisp, a handful of sleepovers, your Drew Barrymore profile, scrunchies, bottom braces and spilt freckles. You laugh in continuum and are just precious. You cross my mind on random afternoons, one of about five people I actually miss from the North Shore. We fell out of touch.
4. You left Charlotte for a much better life, a new chance at everything. Seeing you so happy now makes me beam because you are a tremendous person. You don’t need to waste a cloud of thought in depression and regret. I was writing about you in that random spiel last night in this line “A flash of green, blinding sunshine, secret stories, and sexual innuendos brought them together. Whispers in the din, platitudes turned platinum in lisps, lovely reflections in shy eyes.” because you crossed my mind and that’s how I think our friendship started, our whispered secrets at lunch when no one noticed we were talking, and those stories of old loves. I miss you, those conversations, and your shy smile.
5. You are my cousin. Watching you grow up and change is quite enchanting, although we aren’t more than around three years apart. You have a natural beauty, a kind heart, and apparently a boy magnet! I remember Japanese dinners where I acted a’fool, poised mockeries of Christopher’s picture, shopping in the Water Tower Place, even Nagshead (more than just last July’s visit). You are going to France next year, which makes me envious but also admire you because that’s quite a big step for someone your age. You will go far in life, and I don’t think we should lose touch.
6. Some people you just don’t have much good to say about. I don’t know you very well but you act like you know me inside out. You are usually around when fun times are being had, when things aren’t taken seriously. So you are a fun person, but I would never trust you.
7. I was told not to like you by a Scottish boy, I’m glad I didn’t listen to him. I still haven’t had much conversation with you but you are hilarious. Your british voice used sporadically at lunch is how I’ll remember you, and the red hot chile peppers as well. I’m glad you found someone.
8. You are probably the most positive role model of all my friends. I think you have a bigger heart than thought humanly possible and more devotion and determination than most people your age. You have enormous photography talent and a restless spirit for both mental and physical challenges. I think you are beautiful in every way and need to be in love, but only with the perfect girl to match your perfection.
9. Your thoughts are incredible and the wordings you use to describe things is what first drew me to you. We still never hung out, but we tried. You are shameless… naked pictures on the internet! Your taste in music and knowledge of it as a body really astounds me and that makes you all the more complicated. You are skinny and funny, ride your bike and DJ it up. I haven’t talked to you in months but last I checked you were happy and falling in love, good for you. I hope things are even better than they were then.
10. You, my friend, are so random! I miss Spanish with you behind me everyday and our drives and conversations later into the summer. I don’t even know how we met because we lead such different lives, we are so different, but I feel you understood me and I you. You are in love now and it “fills the void that was high school.” I know I have the same coming to me, best of luck, we need to see each other soon. Maybe I’ll call you one of these days.
11. You intrigued me before we ever met, and we wanted the same guy! Our first encounter was just really weird, I recognized your eyes and freckles from pictures and it turned into one of my giddiest friendships. It would have been nice if both of us hadn’t had so much work this summer because we had to squeeze hangout time into the exhausting hours after we were done working. Ben’s house and ballet reminds me of you.
12. You are such a quiet boy. We both write, I guess that’s how we met. Mutual friends. You counted down for me to come home and then we never hung out, what gives! Haha, well, loneliness will end soon for you I really do believe.
13. We rode the bus together my sophomore year. You were so quiet then, just kind of smirked. That’s how I think of you, a smirker. Haha. Your life hit the shit hole this year, a lot of luckless draws and low points. I worry about you. “That is our friend the Aryan.”
14. This is an adorable girl. She reminds me of honey and buttons. Sadly, we can’t go on our planned double dates now, neither of us. (Although I hope you two are one day are back together.) We should probably still hang out. You are very feminist and that rules. It also rules how open and unabashed you are. In my book, you are very cool.
15. You hate my brother, wait, can he tell you again that he works at CompUSA? You are hilarious and off the charts intelligent. You do your own thing, completely unique and I don’t think anyone would argue against me. Your family treats you like shit, they don’t even realize what is living amongst them. I think you’ll floor them a few years down the road, I know you will succeed at life. I wish you’d go into politics. I also wish you find an uncomplicated girl, you deserve so much more.
16. I think of crack when I see your smiling face. You are a little girl grown up, always smiling and jubilant. You are in the best blend of love, and deserve it because you are such a kind person. I know you are well loved, I see it all over the place.
17. You are a funny guy. I still don’t understand you very well but I value whatever we’ve had in the past. When I think of you I think of those yellow jacket pills that made you an even more pronounced hyper-active person. Prom, Converge, health insurance, and Fern Gully remind me of you.
18. I know I’m only on your list because you are friends with a girl who knows your password and thinks I have secret information about her boyfriend. I think she’s cute enough, and all you post about is your band.
19. Oh snapple, you ruhjule. Haha. You are just too witty, and everything kills you. You will always dress the part and talk the talk, because that’s just who you are. I am glad I found friendship in you, I didn’t expect to at all actually but sometimes suck ass boyfriends produce awesome friends in retrospect. We will be hanging out more in the future, you and your new boy. Admit it!
20. Sometimes I feel like you left me. You are such a strong person, those guns would shy away any male. But really, I love you. You are another great role model, just because of all that you’ve withstood in the past. I’ve been here when you had hard times, and a lot of that has passed now that you’re out of Charlotte and back in love. You are a huge huge geek, infectious laugh, crazy facial expressions and the weirdest takes on things sometimes. I think you are running for president as the reincarnated Louie XIV am I correct??!!
21. I think you made a good decision just recently to transfer. You are SUCH a nice guy, it’s unbelievable. Very shy, but very kind. We met through Amanda and over candyland. Next year, if I get into NC State, then hopefully I’ll see you around more than just over the summer and winter breaks.
22. You are cute but I don’t really know you. Very quiet, a lot of guys seem to want to jump your bones though. I think we’ll get to know eachother better as time goes on, our paths cross.
23. Twink. You are way too funny, Friday was awesome. You have the ability to make such concise statements and summations of your opinions or reactions. It always makes me laugh. Most of the time we share the same opinion, but by the time I notice, you’ve already said that, so I guess you wouldn’t have noticed.
24. My God, what are you doing to yourself!? I can’t tell if you are taking your decisions lightly or not, but after talking to you last night I think a lot was cleared up. Tomorrow I will try to talk some sense into you, because as I’ve said, I love you and… what the hell are you doing to yourself? You’d be there for me if I were in your position. Otherwise, I love our memories. You are like a little brother to me and I love talking to you at any time of day in any scenario. I love curling up on your couch when I’m too tired and just listening to you play. Pictures downtown and trips to the car dealership will always make me think of you. So much reminds me of you, and I stock so much faith in you regardless of everything and everyone else.
25. You are another girl I don’t know. I think you’re cute, I hope you’re careful with everything. We may or may not get to know each other, just be careful. (not of me, of your life.)
26. You visited with my friend who is your BFF! You are my other friends ex boyfriend! You have dirty hair and a big smile, I think you’re charming and delightful. We will meet again, and actually I think sooner rather than later because I’m going to be with you guys for New Years.
27. Woah… you are quite mind blowing. Talented in so many ways, but I know you work at it so it’s not unfair. You’re going far in design, it’s just a given. I’m waiting on the edge for your discovery. And music? Watching you on stage is such a lifting thing, it obviously makes you too happy to quit. You're great at it. You are also beautiful… breathtaking is a better word. I don’t know why girls don’t appreciate you, it disgusts me. You remind me how young I am, and intimidate me into near silence. Such a bright future. I think our friendship is really growing.
28. You found a significant other so you won’t read this, but I don’t know you very well anyways. A sweet girl who muses up my hair on a whim.
29. Wow, this is a precious girl. You look like a tiny doll and I think most girls in Charlotte have at one time wished they looked just like you. You broke my friends heart, but are such a nice person from all I’ve ever talked with you. Your best friend is treated like shit, it makes me cringe but I don’t know all the details and I don’t want to. (I think it would make me sick) Your boyfriend is “cwazy” and I was jealous of you before I set eyes on you just hearing all the things people have said.
30. Huge heart. Thick dreads. You play bass like you are the intro to Seinfeld.
31. You remind me of gyros, don’t know why. I remember when you used to date Jessica, I miss that girl. Then there were others. Today is your birthday! Happy 19 years old! And that girl is LUCKY that she took you back because she’d get her face punched if she didn’t. Oh, but she’s lucky anyways because you are a great guy.
32. You are a Winston girl, friends with friends. I think you should get yourself a great guy who appreciates you. You are too kind to your friends, it’s really admirable.
33. Wow you are cynical! I think we are very different but I like you and your outspoken ways. I remember our work crew weekend at Windy Gap and all those bracelets of yours. I think you’ve grown into a really comfortable place, you are in love, know what you believe, strong, and vicious! I’m glad we got in a class together because I’m not sure I would really know you on any level otherwise. Matt should get back in town so we can hang out.
34. You, my lady, are a tough cookie. But you really aren’t. You’re vulnerable and sometimes scared, absolutely a beautiful individual. Your faith in me has moved me to tears before, I’m not even sure where your kindness originally comes from. You are dating a boy that I love like a brother but you are a fantastic match for him, you even look alike! We still need to hang out before you go off to Wake. You work so hard.
35. I’m so thankful I met you. It’s only been a couple of months actually but you were there for some of the hardest days towards the end of my relationship. I care so much for you, and our conversations have been some of the best ones I’ve had in a long time. You need a license, you need to move to Charlotte, you need a great girl. It’s coming, but you’re not worried. You are just very picky. Sometimes I wish you did enjoy talking on the phone because I love talking to you, but we both hate it so that isn’t happening most likely. Gah, your happiness Friday made me so happy, I love being secret confidants and telling secrets on the stairs. You are a wonderful boy.
It’s getting kind of hard. These will be the biggest challenges.
36. Presenting one of my two role models. This girl is in her own class, no guys mess with her, AND she gets what she wants. Her ideals, words, opinions, love, talent…everything, make her just this huge influence. We grow closer by the day, and I can’t wait till she’s nearby. The Little Prince, freckles under black lights, wigs, KOLS, so so much reminds me of you. I was intimidated, jealous, you name it. But now I just love you.
37. I don’t know what to say really. You obviously don’t care anyways. You have gripes with feeling second best but have proved to me that I was made second best. I have a lot to say but it doesn’t bother me unless I think about it a lot. Your actions would be forgiven most likely if you ever ventured an apology. It’s been weeks though, I don’t even think you want to be friends. You will have such a profound effect on me and my life, on my choosing of mates, and on my trust of others. You are actually a very “big hearted” person and we have some wonderful memories that I’m forever indebted to you for. Your mistreatment of me opened my eyes to how much my friends really care for me. 704 541 9017 if you ever feel the need, or if you yourself ever need. I think we will eventually be friends for life. You have some growing up to do though.
38. Now you know how much you have mattered to me. I guess it took that mess of events and trash talk and what-not to realize it but, in a way, I’m thankful that you are now aware. You were there in the early summer noticing my scowls and tears, you were just there when I needed it. I won’t ever be forgetting that, and that’s why I consider you a friend. You are a big influence on how I look at things, how I see myself, and the first person I would ever go to if I were ever questioning any prospect’s true character. (and you KNOW that’s true… sigh, I’m such a geek and I’m sorry for it!) We shouldn’t ever lose touch, I hope I know you for the rest of my life.
39. You always listen quietly. I ramble, you giggle, we vent, we drive. We’ve been through a lot and at one point I thought our friendship was over. But you are a best friend and it’s not going to be ended that easily. You are loved, you are in love, you are NOT a backstabber. I don’t think you ever could be. I don’t even think you could ever tell a lie. We have so much ahead of us.
40. I love you. Simple. I see so much less of you but you are the girl who has stayed right here for all of high school. Our spring breaks and crushes and ENDLESS secrets and jokes have made our friendship the best of all friendships I can remember. I actually DO have books of just us. You are such a stellar person, so unlike anyone I ever have or will meet. You can brighten any day and I admire you so much.
41. Hello sunshine. I do not know what my life would have been like if I had never met you. The only boy I really ever loved. Such a HUGE impact on me in so many countless ways. You introduced me to life. And honestly, I have probably cried hundreds of times with you on my mind, and I’m not joking. I really don’t think my life would be how it is right now without you. So much reminds me of you, I can’t even begin to make a list. You were my first boyfriend, and now are in love and that girl is the luckiest girl feasible. I wonder how different things could have been, I wonder if they happened because they should have but I don't like to think about it so much because I have so many regrets. I just love you, unconditionally, always. That’s it and it’s simple. And we won't ever lose touch. We can't. Next year you'll be at arms length.
42. This is the only person who doesn’t have a live journal that I’m doing this for. And I’m doing it because he is my second role model. He inspires me to do so much, he’s beautiful and possibly the most looked up to male influence in my life. He’s tremendously talented, and not hesitant to shine. He floors me. I feel right at home around him and there is never a frown on my face when he’s nearby. Dang!