103. weird, USA.
He patted his pockets for the fifth time. “Wallet, keys, tickets, cell phone-”
“Ben, calm down. We’ve got everything.” Olivia adjusted the silver chain of her amethyst pendant. “And I think I hear Nazihah’s car.”
“Are you sure-”
“Benjamin Harry Nettles-Hawthorne. We’ve been looking forward to this play all month. We deserve a night for ourselves. Everything will be okay.” She tapped his nose as she slipped past to answer the knock at the door. “Hi! Thanks so much for doing this; we’ll absolutely take Soha whenever you and Murad want a date night-and speaking of, hello there, baby girl! Did you come to keep Scout company?”
Ben made an awkward wave and stiff smile when Nazihah glanced over at him, then ducked into Amari’s room. He was sitting in bed, his back against the headboard and his thin arms wrapped around his giant plush Stitch; his eyes stared up at Ben as big as saucers. “Hey, Strong Man. Mama’s friend is here. Remember her? The nice lady with the scarf?”
Amari nodded, hands tightening around his stuffed animal.
“We’re only going to be gone for a couple hours, okay? Nazihah’s going to make you some mac and cheese for dinner and then you can watch a movie. Doesn’t that sound good?”
Another nod.
“Aw, c’mere, Amari. I need a good hug before we go.”
Stitch rolled onto the floor forgotten-the next moment, his skinny arms were tight around Ben’s neck, his mouth against his cheek in a fierce kiss. “We’ll be right back,” Ben promised, rubbing his back in soothing circles. “I promise. And you’re going to have fun with Nazihah. And tomorrow we’re all gonna go to the park and do the swings and the slide and feed the ducks. Okay?”
“Hope Daddy hasn’t stolen my hug,” Olivia said behind him. Amari gave him another kiss before dashing to Mama, stretching out eager hands for her to pick him up. “Oof, boy,” she grunted, balancing him on her hip. “You’re growing like a weed. Pretty soon you’ll be picking me up. Now, your sister’s gonna sleep for a while, but when she wakes up I already told Nazihah that you like to give her her bottle. That’s your job, right?”
He nodded emphatically.
“Alright. And you can have one bowl of ice cream after dinner. Love you, Strong Man.”
Love you, he signed before giving her a kiss.
As Ben backed the car out of the driveway, Olivia waved at the little figure in the window, framed by the white curtains. He looked very small as they drove away, but waved back with a smile.
“He’ll be okay,” she reassured Ben, squeezing his knee. “We can’t stick to him like Velcro forever. Little spells apart will be good for him-for you, too, papa bear.”
“I know, I know,” he muttered.
Over the crab legs (for her) and steak (for him), they talked about her classes-
“Amelia, remember her? The quiet brunette I was worried about last semester? She’s really come out of her shell now that we’re doing oils. You should see her latest piece: a re-imagining of Jekyll and Hyde. I’m urging her to enter it in the Junius Art Competition. First prize is two thousand, and I know she could use the cash. This girl’s got talent, Ben. She could really go places. She stayed late on Wednesday to do touch-ups and we got to talking. She wants to work in animation. I pray to God that Disney decides to give hand-drawn movies another chance, for her sake.”
-his new garage band-
“Laugh all you want, but Stardust-”
“Hold on, hold on, Stardust? He seriously wants everyone to call him that?”
“He’s twenty-two; we all go through extremely embarrassing periods of reinvention.”
“You know, now that you mention it, I do seem to recall that time in high school when there was this holier-than-thou hipster, with the Kerouac paperbacks sticking out of his backpack and some horn-rimmed glasses-”
“Mercy, mercy! …Anyway, the guy may be goofy, but he’s a helluva songwriter. And Heath’s picking up some recording equipment from his cousin tomorrow, so we may record something later this week. Just for fun, you know? Just to have a CD of music we made.”
“I think it’s great,” she said, sipping her wine. “I’m glad you three have so much in common and can have some fun. That hipster Ben from high school would’ve never spent so much time with his New Age and retiree neighbors. Have you guys decided on a name yet? I mean, if you’re recording a demo, you have to have a name.”
“Jury’s still out on that one. Stardust wants Platypus Puddle, Heath prefers Emancipation Proclamation-”
“I still say you should go with Benjamin’s Buttons. I mean, you are the lead singer and guitarist.”
-and upcoming holiday plans-
“Seems unfair to make them fly out again.”
“But is there really room for us in that apartment of theirs?”
“We could get a hotel.”
“Yeah, but…” Olivia gnawed her bottom lip. “That’s what me and mom did, when we’d visit her family. And it always felt so impersonal and uncomfortable. I remember spending more time at the hotel than with my grandparents or cousins. We never felt like a family, you know? Just awkward strangers sitting in the same room for a few hours, making small talk that didn’t mean anything.”
He refilled her glass. “I understand. It’s not like we get to see them that often these days-I’d rather get as much time together in as possible, too, while we’ve got the good excuse.”
“And I want the kids to really know their aunt and uncle. Have some good, solid memories of doing things with them, as far back as they can remember.”
“Good thing Charlie leaves such an impression,” Ben said dryly, making her laugh. “Even a couple days with her is a highly concentrated dose.”
Olivia was quiet for a moment, swishing the wine in her glass and plucking the edge of a napkin with her other hand. “…Do you miss them?”
“Absolutely.”
“Funny, isn’t it? I mean, it’s been a couple years now. We’ve done so much and seen so much since and it really is an awful lot when you take the time to reflect-but it still feels like the road trip was yesterday sometimes, doesn’t it? Some mornings I wake up and I half expect to be in another motel. Wonder what the drive’ll be like today.”
“I’ve been thinking about Danny a lot,” Ben confessed. “Don’t know why, really, he just keeps popping into my head. There was a teenager at the grocery store the other day that had his smile. Amari and I were watching some Doctor Who and he picked Dan’s favorite episode, the one with the cat nuns and plague zombies. I called Rob-I forgot to tell you, didn’t I?-and when he picked up the phone the first thing he said was, “I know. It’s his birthday.” I miss him, and then I feel guilty for missing him-I was his unfinished business; he went through so much because of me, I never would have even known him if…” He sighed, tapping his fork against his plate. “Crazy old world we live in, isn’t it?”
“Beautiful, too,” Olivia said quietly. “…I don’t regret any of it.”
“Can’t think of a single moment?”
“No,” she said with calm conviction. “It all led me here, to this moment. And I can’t think of a single place where I’d rather be. I’m grateful, for the good and the bad. I am who I am thanks to that mad trip. Wouldn’t change any of it for any gold or silver.”
“Not even for tiramisu?”
“Not even for a hundred tiramisu.”
The play was well-cast: Olivia especially liked the actor playing Teddy, who was convincingly enthusiastic in his charges up San Juan Hill-she thought about a different, yet strikingly similar, Teddy, and wondered how he was doing in his reproduction life. Ben laughed heartily at Mortimer’s slapstick antics as if he didn’t already have the story and dialogue memorized from dozens of viewings of Grandpa Hawthorne’s old black-and-white VHS. When they stepped out of the theatre their cheeks were rosy from the stuffy heat, their sides aching from laughter.
It was close to ten when they pulled into the driveway. Nazihah had the door open before they could fit a key to the lock, a warning finger pressed to her lips and the sleeping Soha nestled in the fabric sling looped over her shoulders.
“He just fell asleep,” she whispered, nodding at the couch. He was curled on his side, face buried in Stitch’s back, one arm hanging limply over the edge of the cushions. “I was about to put him to bed.”
“How was it?” Olivia whispered as Ben bent to scoop him up, boy and stuffed animal and all.
“Very well. Scout had her bottle around six-thirty and was asleep again within an hour. Amari and I watched a movie, and he colored for a while after dinner. He wanted to wait for you, so I didn’t push him too hard to go to bed. I hope that was okay-”
“That’s fine, thank you so much.”
Amari sighed as Ben tucked him into bed, eyes cracking open sleepily. It took him a moment to extricate his hands from the blankets, fingers slow and clumsy with sleep as he signed, Daddy and Mama have fun?
“We did. Did you have fun with Nazihah?”
She’s nice. I like the way she talks.
“She does have a pretty voice. So you wouldn’t mind if Nazihah came over again sometime?”
I would like that.
Ben smiled. “Glad to hear it, bud. G’night. Sleep tight.”
No bed bugs biting.
Nazihah and Soha were gone when Ben stepped into the hall. Olivia backed silently out of the nursery, followed by the soft susurration of the wave machine Scout slept to. “He asleep?” she whispered, drawing the door almost closed.
“Out like a light. Door locked?”
“Mm-hmm. Knock on wood, but might we actually have a quiet night?”
“Fingers are definitely crossed.”
“Hallelujah. I’m getting into my pjs-”
“How about,” he suggested in a warm undertone. “We forgo the pjs tonight?”
“Husband,” she smiled, draping an arm around his neck. “You are just full of good ideas.”