Out with the Old: Part 11

Mar 11, 2010 14:28


Title: Out with the old
Author: IAdoreCallie
Pairing: Callie and Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Arizona's journal as the New Year begins. She and Callie are moving in together.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fiction, nor do I have any rights in regards to them. All images fully credited to their original owner.

Date: February 28th
Time: What does it matter?

I wish you were awake. I mean I know its good for you to be out, gives your body a better chance of healing and you won't be feeling pain, but I miss you so much. I just need to look into your eyes and see that everything is going to be OK. Its been that way since we met. Even before we kissed in the bathroom, you calmed me down just by looking at me. I can look into your eyes and know its all going to be cool. I need that so badly right now.

Sasha isn't doing so well and she keeps asking for you. I don't know what to tell her. Most of the time I can't bare to be around her. Its not that I resent her for being part of the reason you are like this (That was Cristina's suggestion) because I can't resent her, she didn't do anything but be in the wrong place with the wring family. Its just that she looks like you. Golden curls and really deep eyes. It makes me sad. Its like, what if you lost your fight and we couldn't have the family we wanted? What if I never get to see the little mini Arizona's? Its breaking my heart thinking about it. Totally breaking it. Then I feel like crap because I should have more faith in your recovery.

I suck at being the one trying to hold it together. You'd think I would be used to it by now. What makes things worse is that no one else seems to have faith in me that I can hold it together. I totally get why you got pissed at me for making people keep an eye on you when you had the nightmares... Its like having a constantly changing shadow. I actually threw a bedpan at Mark this morning because he was hovering.

I have Mom and Dad on the phone informing me they are on their way... Why?! All that will happen is my mom will hover over your bed with a rosary and sob, trying to get pity from anyone that will give it. Really she will just be sad that her plans for the wedding are being delayed. My dad will sit there and tell me "Mija it will be ok. Trust in God" Whatever, God abandoned me a long time ago according to him. He might not say it anymore and I know he adores you but he still has his faith and some things never change.

Olivia and Natalia called and offered to come but Olivia squashed that as she didn't want to be in the way and what with the messy break up with Erica and Doris, she thought the awkwardness would put more stress on me. But they send their love and a very large bouquet of roses that arrived this morning.

The police have been around again, asking more questions that I can't answer. They are going to have so many for you when you wake up. I am so proud of you for standing up to that douche bag, but at the same time I want to shake you and tell you to be more careful!!! Arizona its not just your future anymore. Its easy to want to be the hero, but Hero's don't have families and heroism is usually rewarded with tragedy. I can't go through this again. I know it sounds hella selfish but its true. What the hell am I supposed to do without you? You need to think of these things!

For starters I don't know how to work the damn washing machine! Was it really necessary to buy the space shuttle Atlantis to wash our clothes in?

Can you do me a favor and twitch your fingers or something. You haven't moved in what seems like forever and It scares me so badly. Move dammit!

Oh by the way, you are famous. I maybe should have mentioned this sooner but the press got hold of your heroism. It has been all over the news. You'd hate it. They are calling you "The Angel of Grace" I hate it when people come up with crazy titles for people, without asking them if its ok. They keep showing your picture with the reports. Its your one from your badge. I am refusing to comment and our friends are acting like guard dogs. Cristina does it surprisingly well. I won't talk to the press, not without your say so... And preferably not at all. The only reason I watch them at all, is because of the information they give out about Sasha's dad. Her mom died in childbirth. Some expert thinks that her dad's abuse of her was down to hating her for being the cause of her moms death. What an asshole. There are all sorts of charity appeals going on right now "Save Sasha" being one of the biggest. You saved her! Not celebs with their money.

I will stay in our little bubble here. At least I can turn the TV off if it gets too much. People talking about you like they know you. No one knows you like I do.

Mom and Dad will be here tonight. I'm dreading it. I might try and get some sleep before they get here so I don't look so haggered. It will make my Mom complain more. I wish I could hop up on the bed and cuddle with you. I'll just have to drop the side and lay my head beside you. I hope you are having sweet dreams Arizona.

art: fanfic

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