Out with the Old: Part 15
Title: Out with the old
Author: IAdoreCallie
Pairing: Callie and Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Arizona's journal as the New Year begins. She and Callie are moving in together.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fiction, nor do I have any rights in regards to them. All images fully credited to their original owner.
March 8th
As I sit here writing this, my daughter is breaking in your home. The joy she felt the moment you opened your eyes was replaced with utter pain and confusion when you first spoke. Perhaps I should go into more details for you to review when your psychological state is returned to its correct disposition.
You awoke on March 4th. In the early hours. Calliope was watching you intently as your hand had begun moving in small motions more frequently. Dr Shepherd informed her that it was a sign that your brain was waking from its dormant state and he would remain at the hospital to keep a close eye on you. He is a good man. I happen to know that he had been working for over 30 hours prior to your change in status.
Carlos agreed to stay with Calliope while I returned to your home to clean up. When I returned the nurses were removing the tube from your throat as you had begun to fight against it. You were clearly panicking and this in turn caused the same reaction in Calliope. She wanted to be at your side, however this was not feasible with all of the commotion going on around you. I have to say that the look in your eyes terrified me. You showed nothing but pure horror. I cannot begin to comprehend how you must have felt, waking to find yourself surrounded by doctors and nurses, all pulling at you. Despite them trying to help, I believe this further frightened you.
For several hours Calliope talked to you but you made no response. Merely staring at her with the same fear you showed when you first awoke. You were in too much pain I believe to move, and so you remained still. Frightened. We were allowed to give you water and when your throat was quenched you spoke your first words, which I believe will haunt Calliope for a long while.
"Where is my mommy?"
Dr Shepherd tried explaining to Calliope that this may be a temporary side effect of your being unconscious for so long. And the trauma you sustained. He described it as a defence mechanism. That was three days ago. Dr Bailey is the only person aside from Dr Shepherd that you will allow near you and so I can only write what they tell me of your status.
Dr Shepherd calls it Psychological Regression. He said that it is rare for a person to return directly to their own childhood memories. Usually people return to a childlike state. An age with less responsibility and knowledge of the worlds darknesses. As ever Arizona you have to be one of the rare ones. A Dr Wyatt came to consult with him and discussed some nightmares you had been having of late which may have triggered the regression to this phase of your life.
You are kept under mild sedation as you are having night terrors and are consistently begging for your parents. I wish more than anything that I could bring them to you Arizona and I feel that reading this back you may feel more pain than comfort. But I must continue my daughters quest to provide you with the knowledge of everything you have missed. Dr Bailey keeps us informed in minute detail of your wishes, and questions. We are still unsure of what it was that triggered your brain into waking, perhaps you are the only one who will be able to provide that detail. Calliope believes it may be the way she held you and the smell of the shampoo. She had a vague recollection of your mother's shampoo smelling similar.
Dr Shepherd assures us that eventually this will pass, we must replace objects in your room slowly with pieces of your daily life, which may release you from your childhood state. I suggested your dog. However this is apparently a health violation. So we shall take a photo of her instead. By the way, when you do return to yourself, you and Calliope owe me a new pair of Manolo's. That little rat decided to leave a parcel within them.
You do have a beautiful home. It is a shame that I have to visit under such circumstances. I knew that your recovery would not be easy but I don't think that any of us expected this. As a credit to your character you were extremely polite, despite your obvious terror. You appear to have been a very well mannered child. As you are as an adult.
Calliope doesn't know what to do with herself. She cannot visit as strangers scare you. For her to be a stranger to you hurts her more than anything I have ever witnessed before. She lays on your bed, clutching at your pillow. We hope that soon we will be able to introduce her photograph into your room. It is ironic that we have to follow the same procedure as with your dog. But in a strange way, Calliope is a health hazard for you right now. You need rest and calm. The trauma of your ordeal has put you through enough and we will do whatever it takes to make sure that your recovery is as stress free as possible. Calliope understands that. She is just finding it hard to accept. She will. I hope.
I must go for now, I want to cook her a meal that she won't eat, but will pick at like she has every other night.
My thoughts, prayers and hopes are with you Arizona.
Come home soon. My Calliope cannot live without you.