im  so crazy sometimes.
like tonight. 
sitting on the inside of my head is no way to live.
lets see what happens.
one day ill update about the unexpected turns of my life.
like tonight.

my musical tastes have gone crazy. though some staples still survive the great.. whatever i am having, but a lot of what i used to love is just kind of out. its very retro in my head. its all about nostalgia, its all about looking back and fucking smiling. i blame mtv, mtv2, and vh1 because they are playing weird things at 4am and i am loving it.. ( Read more... )

i feel a little shaken up right now. it's scary to watch someone die and feel it. its a return to saturn and the woods. i think i am going to run away and camp and hike and be outside. sounds heavenly. and i need to start running. i need my music and some outside. and i need to get in touch with beth, cause i really want to see her soon. there are ( Read more... )

it's nice to finally have time to sit down and write. hopefully, i'll get to do more of it this summer, but we'll see. i bought wow. anti-climactic i'm sure, but i don't know how i feel about it. i'm kind of burnt out. burnt out on everything that i have been doing. it seems like i am ready for something drastically different. the school, the video ( Read more... )

i'm so a 13 year old fat goth girl.
kill me now.

it's so endlessly frustrating when you get something that you want. well, when you get several things you want all at the same time. i don't really understand why it bugs me, but it does. i have had several things fall into place for me. i mean, some of it is 'bad' and some of it 'good,' but it has all taken me in the direction i want to go. its so ( Read more... )

life is funny. and crazy.
or just crazy.

I think that this feeling is the reason why i hate relationships. And not even relationships, almost relationships are enough to kill my heart. Especially when I get a text message break up about a relationship that I was mustering up the nerve to think about initiating.
I mean. And then being megalomaniacal does not help at all- everything i see ( Read more... )

god, despite its horrors, one must love youtube. i mean, spaghetti town is simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating. even better is "Take it in the Ass" which i just saw posted on a friends livejournal. i really need to change my profile picture on here, the "shit eating grin" is really not me and it gets on my nerves ( Read more... )

there is something that is just so satisfying about throwing something. about breaking something. about not breaking myself when i am upset. no one else will think so, but i think i might have found a healthy outlet for some of my emotions ( Read more... )