(no subject)
I'm here at my mom's house. 12:53 AM. I havent slept in 5 nights. I'm beginning to think sleep is analogous to anorexia: Anorexia : dont eat for a few days and you stop getting hungry :: sleep : dont sleep for a day or two then you forget how. Remember analogies? I just had the stomach flu for five days and now I'm feeling something else setting on. My body would like some energy to fight it, but Ambien hasn't been tested on 17 year olds. No sleep sure has though and the results are much worse than some goddamned relief. No, really. It should be taken as a preventative measure actually. With my 6-8 hours of tossing and turning every night, I'm going to bang the top of my head into the wall hard as fuck, then I'll have to have brain surgery and have stuff clipped in my cerebrum, then I'll be back in the pain management program for chronic migrains.
I've been so restless lately, I havent been on the internet in a couple weeks (I like it this way) and I cant bear to turn on the television for fear of convulsions. Opiates made the two above activities much more interesting than they actually were. Julie came by yesterday with some CD's for me, Celtic music. She said they help her relax and may aid me as well. I find it more to be an eerie reminder of many thoughts I'd rather not be reminded about. No Irish countryside for me.
I forced myself to do some homework for the first time yesterday. I've been out of school quite a bit and have a lot of catchup. I may just have failed my junior year. Crazy how quickly one can go from the top of the AP classes to not even being able to pass an average one. First assignment, you ask? Spelling sheet. You know you need to go back to school when you're spelling intelligent intellegent. I've got to get back on board with French, too, so I can go on the Europe trip. My teacher is a republican and I'm pretty damned good at getting the fellow off topic. Socialized health care? No, Hillary Health care.
I bought a new swimsuit, the first one I've bought since I lost weight. I feel mighty lovely in it. Relatively naked too, but still pretty.
You know MacDill down the road? They're commanding the war. We're all goners. Crap.