Fic: Never Mind the Barrowman (Barrowman/Tennant)
Never Mind the Barrowman
Pairing: David Tennant/John Barrowman
Warnings: Crack. Pure RPS Crack
Summary: After the “Never Mind the Buzzcocks” Doctor Who special airs, David gets a phone call.
David’s schedule was so packed by the full force of the BBC’s publicity machine that he’d completely forgotten his episode of Buzzcocks premiered Wednesday night.
Forgot, that is, until the phone rang and on the other end was John Barrowman.
“I have half a mind to sue you.”
David fought back the grin, imagining Barrowman standing in front of him with his hands on his hips and lips pursed in the expression he thought looked “frighteningly angry” but to David looked a lot closer to “Drag Queen”.
“Come on, John, just a bit of fun.”
“Yeah, at my expense.”
“It’s not fun if it’s not at your expense. Really, John, what dignity have you got to lose?”
Barrowman managed to hold character for a good 10 seconds, sputtering indignantly, before breaking into a loud guffaw. “Jealous?”
David felt an eyebrow climbing up his forehead. He couldn’t recall the exact moment that expression of disbelief had become the Doctor’s and not his. Now that he was no longer playing the character, he was doing his best to reclaim it as his own. “Of an intergalactic playboy? I have actual standards. That’s why the fans love me.”
“The fans love you because you have permanent bed hair,” Barrowman paused and David could practically hear him leering. “David, if you wanted some, you only had to ask.”
David took a moment to figure out how to answer that challenge. “And if I were to ask, would you say yes?”
“To a man who’s nickname is Teninch? David, I’d be seated with a bottle of wine and an appetizer before you could finish saying the name of the restaurant.”
David couldn’t help but feel that the conversation was getting away from him. He tried for casual disinterest, but probably failed spectacularly, “Really, now?”
“Oh yes.”
It was a split-second decision, but David found himself saying, “Ok, then. The Ivy, Saturday Night.”
There was a slight pause on the other line. David could feel his palms getting sweaty. Oh bollocks. He was struggling to come up with cheeky explanations for his mistake when he heard Barrowman chuckle. Bastard.
“Wear that red thong of yours.”
Before David could even open his mouth to express his shock, the line went dead. He hung up the phone slowly, letting the full impact of the conversation sink in.
And it seemed the only correct response was to shake his fist at the phone and shout “Barrowman!”
Pairing: David Tennant/John Barrowman
Warnings: Crack. Pure RPS Crack
Summary: After the “Never Mind the Buzzcocks” Doctor Who special airs, David gets a phone call.
David’s schedule was so packed by the full force of the BBC’s publicity machine that he’d completely forgotten his episode of Buzzcocks premiered Wednesday night.
Forgot, that is, until the phone rang and on the other end was John Barrowman.
“I have half a mind to sue you.”
David fought back the grin, imagining Barrowman standing in front of him with his hands on his hips and lips pursed in the expression he thought looked “frighteningly angry” but to David looked a lot closer to “Drag Queen”.
“Come on, John, just a bit of fun.”
“Yeah, at my expense.”
“It’s not fun if it’s not at your expense. Really, John, what dignity have you got to lose?”
Barrowman managed to hold character for a good 10 seconds, sputtering indignantly, before breaking into a loud guffaw. “Jealous?”
David felt an eyebrow climbing up his forehead. He couldn’t recall the exact moment that expression of disbelief had become the Doctor’s and not his. Now that he was no longer playing the character, he was doing his best to reclaim it as his own. “Of an intergalactic playboy? I have actual standards. That’s why the fans love me.”
“The fans love you because you have permanent bed hair,” Barrowman paused and David could practically hear him leering. “David, if you wanted some, you only had to ask.”
David took a moment to figure out how to answer that challenge. “And if I were to ask, would you say yes?”
“To a man who’s nickname is Teninch? David, I’d be seated with a bottle of wine and an appetizer before you could finish saying the name of the restaurant.”
David couldn’t help but feel that the conversation was getting away from him. He tried for casual disinterest, but probably failed spectacularly, “Really, now?”
“Oh yes.”
It was a split-second decision, but David found himself saying, “Ok, then. The Ivy, Saturday Night.”
There was a slight pause on the other line. David could feel his palms getting sweaty. Oh bollocks. He was struggling to come up with cheeky explanations for his mistake when he heard Barrowman chuckle. Bastard.
“Wear that red thong of yours.”
Before David could even open his mouth to express his shock, the line went dead. He hung up the phone slowly, letting the full impact of the conversation sink in.
And it seemed the only correct response was to shake his fist at the phone and shout “Barrowman!”