if i felt broken at any point during the day, i felt i shattered right then.
read at your own risk. i had a very very very long day...
so. i woke up. it was 8. i needed to be in class uptown at 8:30. after 40 minutes of driving though gay charlotte morning traffic, as gay is the only way possibly to describe it, i wasn't there yet. another 10 minutes i was in the parking lot. at which point i turned the car off. and promptly fell asleep... in the parking lot. (though thats better than falling asleep while driving. but i did a lot of that too. closed my eyes and then heard honking because i was drifting into the wrong lane in bumper to bumper traffic. great fun.)
so. i woke up. it was 9:52. i gave up on my first class today. i went to steves and bought a sandwich. so far this was the highlight of my day. steve gave me a bag of chips for free, since he rocks the world. so then i went to cp again. another 40 minutes of driving. oh yeah, my left leg is at this point very sore, i think i was sitting on it akwardly when i fell asleep, the leg hurt a good bit for the whole rest of the day. i went into class. i was the only one in there for... donno how long. i fell asleep again. prolly about 10 minutes before any other students showed up tho. then i fell asleep again. the class was full when i woke up.
so. i woke up when a very big man came through the door. it was mr anderson. apparently on monday, he had thought that our class started at 1:30, not at 11:30 and therefore, had not shown up. but today he came. and we began a thorough discussion based entirely around the difference between the words" naked" and "nude" when you go to the doctor you feel naked, but on a hot summer night you sleep in the nude. a clotheless toddler playing out in the yard is naked, a clotheless 18 year old woman dancing on a tabletop in a bar is nude.
very interesting conversation to wake up to.
after class i came home and promptly... couldnt fall asleep... my mom took the lil bro to the doctor, since hes been home sick all week. tried calling britt while on my way to stimulus practice, thinking maybe she would want to come to that. shes staying with laura while her rents are in vegas, and laura has to stay after to work on the set for the hello dolly play. i was given the impression that if i didnt come rescue her she would be very very bored, and trapped in school till 5:30. i was given the distinct impression that she wanted me to come get her from school. she didnt answer her phone. but when i called brian, he said, that holly said, that britt was going to be at alex's party, so why would she want to be at the stimulus practice. confused, and tired of making unanswered phone calls, i gave up on that and just went to brians.
about 15 minutes or somewhere thereabouts till 4, i was standing on brians back porch, since i beat him to his house, trying and failing to warm my hands up in a feelbe attempt to injure myself a little bit less today than usual with my guitar playing.
enter brian holly and adam, stage left.
adam went upstairs and started setting up the drum kit. brian stood in the kitchen and messed with holly. he told me to get things set up upstairs. i then proceeded to carry the peavy keyboard amp into the house from the shop, which is a small room out and on the wrong side of the garage. then i carried my head. then i carried in my cab. which lost one of its casters at tremont saturday, and no longer rolls. after i start carrying my cab up the stairs by myself, brian says,
"you need some help? I waited till the last moment possible there didnt I? heh heh heh heh..."
"yes... yes you did..."
so everythings upstairs, my tubes are warming up. and brian leaves to take holly home while adam and i work on stuff. i went through various stages of pain in different positions in the practice room. while i was sitting on the keyboard amp, the drums were unbearably loud, and gave me a headache. when i stood up to get away from that, it was brians amp. when i sat down in a blue chair, and put on the ear protection, it was the bass from my amp reverbrating inside the earphones, thus making it impossible to hear any actual music, not to mention being even more deafeningly loud. I could not escape the headache.
enter pain, stage left, right, and center.
my arms started to hurt right on time.
headache + burning pain in both arms + adam and brian arguing over one of the bolts that wont stay tightened on the snare = me suggesting in a polite and calm manner(that’s sarcasm) that they both should just shut the fuck up and play. to which the response was two very evil stares, and adam saying, “that was uncalled for” in a very demeaning voice. and they started to argue some more. and my headache was peaking. and my arms were burning. so I informed them I was leaving. to which I got more evil stares. and pissed off stares. despite the fact that it was 10 till 6, when brians mom would have sent us out anyway.
i decided at this point that i very desparately needed to see britt. i was told that she was at alex helms' B-day party, and that the party would be at hassans house. i tried to call her, but the line was busy. 3 minutes later the line wasnt busy anymore, but she didnt answer. 5 minutes after that, she still didnt answer. i couldnt remember exactly how to get there, but i knew it was on the same road as chelsea and wesley's neighborhoods, and i was fairly sure that i could get to that road faster by driving down beula (donno how its spelled) church road and turning right. i turned right on the road i was pretty sure hassans house was on. but after the road ended, i had to turn right on tilley morris and i turned around at the citgo. i decided that hassans house was on the other half of that road since i hadnt seen it after turning right. so i go back. and i see his house well before the turn. it was right there. very close to where i had thought it ought to be. donno why i didnt see it. so i drove up to his house. there was a car in the driveway... only one? yeah. only one. i was looking for a party, not a lone car in a driveway to a house in which all the lights appear to be out. i think that maybe everyones hid their cars down the street, and that they still havent done the surprize yet. but i drive down the street and theres nothing. so i try wesleys house. nope. while driving towards chelseas house, i pass grauer, and decide, yes its certainly at chelseas, and grauer had to leave. nope.
enter mass confusion, stage right.
i try calling britt again. still nothing. i try calling chelsea, nothing. laura, nothing. brenton, yes, finally, someone who answers their phone. but, hes not at the party, and he thought it was at hassans. he says hes going to call someone and call me back. so i start driving towards 84. hassans house still has no cars. by the time he calls back and tells me he talked to chelsea, and yes, its definately at hassans house, im already driving down 84, looking for a place to turn around.
i arrive at hassans.
"..."
"... ......"
"wheres britt?"
"shes not here. shes at harris teeter with laura"
if i felt broken at any point during the day, i felt i shattered right then.
i was a bit unhappy, to say the least. so after staring at stuff being cooked in the kitchen for a bit, im sitting on a couch when britt and laura come in. i go to the door.
"laura grabbed my ass! look!"
britt had paint all over her pants, it was amusing. she made the rest of my day disapear. like none of it happened. and just being near her at all makes life ok. the next several hours were lots of fun. especially the sneakiness set about by brian and myself. we're amazing.
but then, all of a sudden it seemed, britt had to go. and the happiness wore off very quickly, and i said something that wasnt very nice. and im sorry... i was just a bit stressed out, and really really really didnt want you to leave... and so i blew up a little bit. and again im sorry. i really needed you today. and you werent there any of the times i called. and i never get to talk to you when we're at one of those partys. you sit and talk with the big group of people. i wander off, because i cant stand those big discussions, especially with most of your friends, because they all seem to have different views than myself, and i almost always feel like they think theyre above me, and im being talked down to. you complain about me not talking to you as much when stimulus has a gig and i get into my guitar zone, well, you have a friend zone, and when youre in it i dont exist. i know thats kinda mean too, but thats how it feels sometimes.
tomorrow im going into the shop. im going to be busy all day. class, work, class. i'll be busy from 9 till 9, so it doesnt matter that you want to help with the set for the play, i cant come pick you up even if you werent doing that. I donno when I'll see you again. i know youve made plans to hang out with andrew on sunday. so i prolly wont see you then. i donno if im going to the show saturday, im prolly not going to feel up to it after work. on wednesday im gone. my plane leaves at like 6. i wont get back till around 10 the following sunday night. i said id see you next week. its sounding like maybe i wont see you till almost 2 weeks from now... and thats depressing as hell... in case you cant tell, im having a bit of trouble keeping things together right now, and since im picking up the other job again i think its just going to get worse.
well now that ive further depressed myself, and made my wrist sore from the damn keyboard, i'll go to bed again. yeah, i fell asleep when i got home from hassans, woke up 2 hours later. i have to wake up in 7 hours. goodnight.
so. i woke up. it was 8. i needed to be in class uptown at 8:30. after 40 minutes of driving though gay charlotte morning traffic, as gay is the only way possibly to describe it, i wasn't there yet. another 10 minutes i was in the parking lot. at which point i turned the car off. and promptly fell asleep... in the parking lot. (though thats better than falling asleep while driving. but i did a lot of that too. closed my eyes and then heard honking because i was drifting into the wrong lane in bumper to bumper traffic. great fun.)
so. i woke up. it was 9:52. i gave up on my first class today. i went to steves and bought a sandwich. so far this was the highlight of my day. steve gave me a bag of chips for free, since he rocks the world. so then i went to cp again. another 40 minutes of driving. oh yeah, my left leg is at this point very sore, i think i was sitting on it akwardly when i fell asleep, the leg hurt a good bit for the whole rest of the day. i went into class. i was the only one in there for... donno how long. i fell asleep again. prolly about 10 minutes before any other students showed up tho. then i fell asleep again. the class was full when i woke up.
so. i woke up when a very big man came through the door. it was mr anderson. apparently on monday, he had thought that our class started at 1:30, not at 11:30 and therefore, had not shown up. but today he came. and we began a thorough discussion based entirely around the difference between the words" naked" and "nude" when you go to the doctor you feel naked, but on a hot summer night you sleep in the nude. a clotheless toddler playing out in the yard is naked, a clotheless 18 year old woman dancing on a tabletop in a bar is nude.
very interesting conversation to wake up to.
after class i came home and promptly... couldnt fall asleep... my mom took the lil bro to the doctor, since hes been home sick all week. tried calling britt while on my way to stimulus practice, thinking maybe she would want to come to that. shes staying with laura while her rents are in vegas, and laura has to stay after to work on the set for the hello dolly play. i was given the impression that if i didnt come rescue her she would be very very bored, and trapped in school till 5:30. i was given the distinct impression that she wanted me to come get her from school. she didnt answer her phone. but when i called brian, he said, that holly said, that britt was going to be at alex's party, so why would she want to be at the stimulus practice. confused, and tired of making unanswered phone calls, i gave up on that and just went to brians.
about 15 minutes or somewhere thereabouts till 4, i was standing on brians back porch, since i beat him to his house, trying and failing to warm my hands up in a feelbe attempt to injure myself a little bit less today than usual with my guitar playing.
enter brian holly and adam, stage left.
adam went upstairs and started setting up the drum kit. brian stood in the kitchen and messed with holly. he told me to get things set up upstairs. i then proceeded to carry the peavy keyboard amp into the house from the shop, which is a small room out and on the wrong side of the garage. then i carried my head. then i carried in my cab. which lost one of its casters at tremont saturday, and no longer rolls. after i start carrying my cab up the stairs by myself, brian says,
"you need some help? I waited till the last moment possible there didnt I? heh heh heh heh..."
"yes... yes you did..."
so everythings upstairs, my tubes are warming up. and brian leaves to take holly home while adam and i work on stuff. i went through various stages of pain in different positions in the practice room. while i was sitting on the keyboard amp, the drums were unbearably loud, and gave me a headache. when i stood up to get away from that, it was brians amp. when i sat down in a blue chair, and put on the ear protection, it was the bass from my amp reverbrating inside the earphones, thus making it impossible to hear any actual music, not to mention being even more deafeningly loud. I could not escape the headache.
enter pain, stage left, right, and center.
my arms started to hurt right on time.
headache + burning pain in both arms + adam and brian arguing over one of the bolts that wont stay tightened on the snare = me suggesting in a polite and calm manner(that’s sarcasm) that they both should just shut the fuck up and play. to which the response was two very evil stares, and adam saying, “that was uncalled for” in a very demeaning voice. and they started to argue some more. and my headache was peaking. and my arms were burning. so I informed them I was leaving. to which I got more evil stares. and pissed off stares. despite the fact that it was 10 till 6, when brians mom would have sent us out anyway.
i decided at this point that i very desparately needed to see britt. i was told that she was at alex helms' B-day party, and that the party would be at hassans house. i tried to call her, but the line was busy. 3 minutes later the line wasnt busy anymore, but she didnt answer. 5 minutes after that, she still didnt answer. i couldnt remember exactly how to get there, but i knew it was on the same road as chelsea and wesley's neighborhoods, and i was fairly sure that i could get to that road faster by driving down beula (donno how its spelled) church road and turning right. i turned right on the road i was pretty sure hassans house was on. but after the road ended, i had to turn right on tilley morris and i turned around at the citgo. i decided that hassans house was on the other half of that road since i hadnt seen it after turning right. so i go back. and i see his house well before the turn. it was right there. very close to where i had thought it ought to be. donno why i didnt see it. so i drove up to his house. there was a car in the driveway... only one? yeah. only one. i was looking for a party, not a lone car in a driveway to a house in which all the lights appear to be out. i think that maybe everyones hid their cars down the street, and that they still havent done the surprize yet. but i drive down the street and theres nothing. so i try wesleys house. nope. while driving towards chelseas house, i pass grauer, and decide, yes its certainly at chelseas, and grauer had to leave. nope.
enter mass confusion, stage right.
i try calling britt again. still nothing. i try calling chelsea, nothing. laura, nothing. brenton, yes, finally, someone who answers their phone. but, hes not at the party, and he thought it was at hassans. he says hes going to call someone and call me back. so i start driving towards 84. hassans house still has no cars. by the time he calls back and tells me he talked to chelsea, and yes, its definately at hassans house, im already driving down 84, looking for a place to turn around.
i arrive at hassans.
"..."
"... ......"
"wheres britt?"
"shes not here. shes at harris teeter with laura"
if i felt broken at any point during the day, i felt i shattered right then.
i was a bit unhappy, to say the least. so after staring at stuff being cooked in the kitchen for a bit, im sitting on a couch when britt and laura come in. i go to the door.
"laura grabbed my ass! look!"
britt had paint all over her pants, it was amusing. she made the rest of my day disapear. like none of it happened. and just being near her at all makes life ok. the next several hours were lots of fun. especially the sneakiness set about by brian and myself. we're amazing.
but then, all of a sudden it seemed, britt had to go. and the happiness wore off very quickly, and i said something that wasnt very nice. and im sorry... i was just a bit stressed out, and really really really didnt want you to leave... and so i blew up a little bit. and again im sorry. i really needed you today. and you werent there any of the times i called. and i never get to talk to you when we're at one of those partys. you sit and talk with the big group of people. i wander off, because i cant stand those big discussions, especially with most of your friends, because they all seem to have different views than myself, and i almost always feel like they think theyre above me, and im being talked down to. you complain about me not talking to you as much when stimulus has a gig and i get into my guitar zone, well, you have a friend zone, and when youre in it i dont exist. i know thats kinda mean too, but thats how it feels sometimes.
tomorrow im going into the shop. im going to be busy all day. class, work, class. i'll be busy from 9 till 9, so it doesnt matter that you want to help with the set for the play, i cant come pick you up even if you werent doing that. I donno when I'll see you again. i know youve made plans to hang out with andrew on sunday. so i prolly wont see you then. i donno if im going to the show saturday, im prolly not going to feel up to it after work. on wednesday im gone. my plane leaves at like 6. i wont get back till around 10 the following sunday night. i said id see you next week. its sounding like maybe i wont see you till almost 2 weeks from now... and thats depressing as hell... in case you cant tell, im having a bit of trouble keeping things together right now, and since im picking up the other job again i think its just going to get worse.
well now that ive further depressed myself, and made my wrist sore from the damn keyboard, i'll go to bed again. yeah, i fell asleep when i got home from hassans, woke up 2 hours later. i have to wake up in 7 hours. goodnight.