high school's not the best place to hit bottom of everything
but I'm well on my way
but you wouldn't know it if you looked at me
instead of the numb-ers
I don't know how I can show my face in mr. rock's class anymore.
it doesn't help that I sit in the very front¢er of the class.
I have a 65 last six weeks for pre-cal.
I have a 70 last six weeks for physics.
{go back it looks better against the yellow, not that it matters really. okay it does.}
okay. let's be blunt.
I will most likely fail pre-cal for the semester.
{unless I make a 100 next six weeks.}
I will also fail physics for this six weeks.
I don't know
but I don't feel affected at all
until I get home and realize
oh god, I'm fucked.
if this is how I react to bad news
don't worry when something big&bad happens
like a fire that will eat your skin off
or a flood that will eat your breath away
or a car crash that will eat your brain out
because I'm numb&dumb.
ohgosh.
and silly.
like the bad kind.
oh I can't wait for january
or
oh I love what we're doing in art
or
oh I need a wallet&a watch.
ohIknow.
I am a robot.
feelings in the head&out the {absent}heart.
and I just realize I'm too talkative.
and I just realize I'm obnoxious.
and I just realize I'm bossy.
{I wanted to say this ever since I started opening my mouth junior year.}
and I just need to realize to give up&move down.
{I need to say this to myself everyday.}
but let's pretend I'm okay. cos' somewhere/sometime I was.
{and I need to say this to everyone who sees/talks to me, if it's not too hard of a request. oh and if I seem to talk too much/talk about how "cool" art class is, ignore me, cause it's just me hanging onto the only things that aren't failing{letting} me{down}.}
ps. I love every song off our life...aquatic.
&gosh I just listen to it everyday now.
I'm glad east coast won't take you yet.
or any coast that will take anyone, anywhere.
because we still have the rest of the year to live like this
with this particular setlist of all you goshwonderfulkids.
but
at our graduation{2007}.
there will be tears&nomore fears.
I can't wait for the release{freedom}.